Patrick N Presents Volume 2, Episode 1 - Dan Marino. This new season of Patrick N Presents exposes the piece of crap Hall of Famers in the NFL.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
Week 12 Playoff Picture- NFC
1. DALLAS COWBOYS 10-1
Week 11 WON v. Redskins 28-23
Week 12 WON v. Jets 34-3
Week 13 v. Packers (10-1)
You know who should have felt a little squeamish watching this Thanksgiving Day turkey basting? No, not the Packers, who face the Cowboys in a battle of 10-1 teams this Thursday. The team that should feel bad is the Steelers, who just a week ago lost to the kelly green suck squad that is the NY Jets.
This wasn't the greatest we've seen the Dallas offense look. Tony Romo had a pedestrian outing and TO had a mere one touchdown. However, they did give the Packers something to think about in the form of Marion the Barbarian Barber, who tore thru the Jets 30th ranked run defense like a Ginsu knife thru a turkey leg for 103 yards on 18 carries.
The Cowboys are in top form right now. So are the Packers. The Cowboys have twice the talent though, and I think they'll be the ones at 11-1 on Friday morning.
2. GREEN BAY PACKERS 10-1
Week 11 WON v. Panthers 31-17
Week 12 WON at Lions 37-26
Week 13 at Cowboys (10-1)
There's a perception about the Packers that they aren't as good as their 10-1 record would indicate. The perception is that they've played a weak schedule. The perception is that the Cowboys, who are favored by 7 in their game against the Packers on Thursday, will give a failing grade to the Pack in their first real test of the season.
But I don't think it's true to say the Pack has not been tested this year. The tone for their season was set in the first three games of the season, when they opened with wins over Philly, the Giants, and San Diego, all teams that could be in the playoffs this year. They've beaten Adrian Peterson and the Vikings twice, and they've won at Arrowhead and Mile High, which is still impressive even though the teams that play at those places are having down seasons. They've passed some tests, and they do so more impressively every week.
Funny as it may sound, the team that plays closest to the way that the be all end all New England Patriots play are these Packers. They spread the ball around, have a great quarterback, and talented receivers. There's no other shoe waiting to drop here, this team is for real.
3. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS 7-4
Week 11 WON v. Bears 30-23
Week 12 WON at Rams 24-19
Week 13 at Eagles (5-6)
From this point on, I don't see how any sane person could think any of these teams have a real shot at doing anything of any significance in the postseason.
The Seahawks began their game against the 2-8 Rams by having Mo Morris get tackled in the end zone for a safety. Then a few minutes later they were getting gashed for a 50 some yard TD run by Steven Jackson. They probably wouldn't have come back to win if Marc Bulger didn't leave the game in the second quarter to be replaced by the increasingly incompetent Gus Frerotte.
The Seahawks began their game against the 2-8 Rams by having Mo Morris get tackled in the end zone for a safety. Then a few minutes later they were getting gashed for a 50 some yard TD run by Steven Jackson. They probably wouldn't have come back to win if Marc Bulger didn't leave the game in the second quarter to be replaced by the increasingly incompetent Gus Frerotte.
In the last minute of the game the Rams had first and goal on the five, and were stopped the next three plays. They then called a timeout to talk things over and come up with a really great play that would punch it in on 4th down and give the Rams the win. Then they fumbled the snap. That's six wins in a row for the Seahawks over the Rams, and therein lies the secret of the Seahawks making the playoffs every year.
4. TAMPA BAY BUCS 7-4
Week 11 WON at Falcons 31-7
Week 12 WON v. Redskins 19-13
Week 13 at Saints (5-6)
The Bucs kept rolling towards an NFC South title by beating the Redskins 19-13, and they did it with Bruce Gradkowski at quarterback and Earnest Graham as their running back. It didn't hurt that Washington could not stop turning the ball over, coughing it up six times including an interception that snuffed out the potential game winning drive in the final minute. In the NFL though, a win is a win is a win and if Jon Gruden keeps winning with this seemingly outmanned team, he just might get his genius badge back.
A big game looms for the Bucs this Sunday. If they go to the Superdome and beat the Saints, it pretty much salts away the division title and a playoff berth, an impressive feat for a team that went 4-12 last season. If they lose though, the Saints are only a game back and all of a sudden we've got ourselves a race in this division. The Bucs need Garcia back for this game. He's listed as day to day right now, but the tea leaves seem to be pointing toward him playing.
5. NY GIANTS 7-4
Week 11 WON at Lions 16-10
Week 12 LOST v. Vikings 17-41
Week 13 at Bears (5-6)
We've been waiting for years for Eli Manning to play like his big brother. He finally did against the Vikings. Unfortunately, he played like his brother played two weeks ago in his live action naked test taking dream where he threw 6 picks against the Chargers.
Eli took a run at that dubious family record, throwing 4, 3 of which were taken back for TDs and another which was taken to the Giants five yard line. The Giants were pounded by the Adrian Peterson-less Vikings 41-17.
The Giants are doing nothing to make anyone think that they aren't going to re-enact their annual late season collapse. Maybe getting Derrick Ward and/or Brandon Jacobs back will help, maybe not. All I know is I'm breaking out in hives thinking about the prospect of Eli and Rex on the same field this week when the Bears take on the Giants. I recommend only viewing this game thru two pieces of cardboard with a pinhole poked in one of them.
6. DETROIT LIONS 6-5
Week 11 LOST v. Giants 16-10
Week 12 LOST v. Packers 26-37
Week 13 at Vikings (5-6)
I'm not expecting to be writing about this team too much longer. They were supposed to be really good at home right? Well now they've lost back to back games at home. In the most recent one they were indistinguishable from the bad old Lions, and Favre did absolutely whatever he wanted to do to their defense. The Lions aren't forcing turnovers anymore, they aren't running the ball effectively any more, pretty much anything they did when they got out to their 6-2 start, they are not doing anymore.
Not only that, take a look at their schedule the rest of the way. They are at the red hot Vikings this week, who should have Purple Jesus back. Then they host Dallas, are on the road at SD, home against the Chiefs, and at Green Bay. They will be lucky to get 1 win out those last 5 and finish 7-9. This team is toast.
I'm not expecting to be writing about this team too much longer. They were supposed to be really good at home right? Well now they've lost back to back games at home. In the most recent one they were indistinguishable from the bad old Lions, and Favre did absolutely whatever he wanted to do to their defense. The Lions aren't forcing turnovers anymore, they aren't running the ball effectively any more, pretty much anything they did when they got out to their 6-2 start, they are not doing anymore.
Not only that, take a look at their schedule the rest of the way. They are at the red hot Vikings this week, who should have Purple Jesus back. Then they host Dallas, are on the road at SD, home against the Chiefs, and at Green Bay. They will be lucky to get 1 win out those last 5 and finish 7-9. This team is toast.
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES
With the Lions in free fall and the Giants looking like they might be right behind them, there is an amorphous blob of 5-6 teams just waiting for their opportunity to sneak into the postseason.
- Washington Redskins
They've lost 3 in a row and their best player just died. On the plus side, they don't have Eli Manning on their team.
- Philadelphia Eagles
They almost took down the Patriots. Almost. We'll see how fast McNabb's ankle heals now that AJ Feeley played better against the unbeaten Pats than McNabb has played against anyone all year.
-Minnesota Vikings
It says here that this team is not going to lose again until the playoffs. By here I mean right in this sentence. The sentence I am writing right now.
-New Orleans Saints
They crushed the Panthers on the road, 31-6. So I guess this means they are good again now. They've won 5 out of their last 7, so I guess they've got as good a shot as anyone.
- Arizona Cardinals
Kurt Warner throws for almost 500 yards, and the Cardinals still lose because they can't stop Trent Dilfer, Frank Gore made them look silly, and Neal Rackers blew a 32 yard field goal in OT. No team finds more spectacular ways to blow games.
- Chicago Bears
The Bears rode 2 Devin Hester returns for TDs and an improbable surge of offensive competence on the final drive of regulation to come back from a 34-20 4th quarter deficit and stun the Broncos 37-34 in OT. They also lost Cedric Benson for the season. Not that Ced was any good, but now the Bears are down to The Other Adrian Peterson as their starting running back the rest of the year, and this is the team that according to their coach gets off the bus running the ball.
BCS Sucks
Here's what we learned from the BCS:
If this was Division II or III NCAA College Football, we'd could be seeing Ohio State, West Virginia, LSU, Mizzou, Hawaii, BC, Oklahoma, and USC in the playoffs. But Division II and III isn't about money and Division I is. Sorry Nick, while this year has been a great year for college football, unless they run Division I like UEFA Champions League for soccer, everyone is not playing each other and so the regular season isn't as equal because I can schedule it that way.
- If you schedule weakass games against teams like Ice Cream State, Deaf University, and Special Ed University, and your end of the year rival game sucks cock, you can still be ranked high if you lose. Even if not one of your games you won was a hard game on the road. (Ohio State)
- If you go undefeated, you can still be out of a BCS bowl game. (Hawaii)
- You can be number one in the nation through the BCS bowl and still be an underdog. (Mizzou 3 pt underdogs in Vegas vs. #12 Oklahoma in Big 12 Championship)
- Two-loss teams who don't win their conference division or even qualify for their conference's league championship can still win the National Title. (Georgia)
- Those that say the regular season IS the playoffs are wrong because certain teams would have already been eliminated, yet they still have a chance for the National Title. (West Virginia, Ohio State, Virginia Tech, USC)
- Doing everything other teams do can still land you five spots behind because of magic. (Va Tech is five spots over Boston College, but they have the same fucking record and pretty much are mirror images)
If this was Division II or III NCAA College Football, we'd could be seeing Ohio State, West Virginia, LSU, Mizzou, Hawaii, BC, Oklahoma, and USC in the playoffs. But Division II and III isn't about money and Division I is. Sorry Nick, while this year has been a great year for college football, unless they run Division I like UEFA Champions League for soccer, everyone is not playing each other and so the regular season isn't as equal because I can schedule it that way.
And Then There Were Three..
Once again, we had a very interesting week where the contenders to the college football throne danced around the BCS chess board like the pawns of the soul-less, decrepit bowl system that they are, and it was just as exciting as any playoff system could possibly be.
For instance, on Friday we had another #1 team fall by the wayside, in triple overtime no less. LSU couldn't succeed on a 2 point conversion needed to send their game against Arkansas into a 4th OT session, and the top ranked Tigers fell at home 50-48. Darren McFadden staked his claim to the Heisman, running for 206 yards and 3 TDs, leading the 8-4 Razorbacks to this stunning victory, and knocking LSU out of the national title picture.
Saturday night gave us what probably has been the game of the year up to this point. Missouri and Kansas, two schools that were definitely strangers to the national title picture before this year, met at Arrowhead Stadium to see which of them would advance to the Big 12 title game, and remain in the running for the national title. That team will be Missouri, who rode an awesome 40 of 49 performance by QB Chase Daniel to jump out to a 28-7 lead, and held on to top the previously unbeaten Jayhawks 36-28. If Missouri can win this Saturday against Oklahoma, who is the only team to have defeated them this year, they'll play for the national title.
If the Missouri Tigers get to New Orleans, they will meet a team that needs only to dispatch a dismal Pitt squad this weekend to seal their invite, the West Virginia Mountaineers. WV rolled up an insane 517 yards of rushing offense in destroying UConn 66-21 this weekend. UConn is still the second place team in the Big East, and West Virginia beat them by 45. This conference is not good. Is it fair that the Big East will have a team representing it in the national title game while the SEC will not? Probably. Still, this West Virginia team is very good, and there isn't a team in the country that they do not belong on the same field with.
Meanwhile, there is now a huge groundswell of Oklahoma Sooner fans in Columbus, OH.
If Missouri doesn't come out on top against the Sooners this weekend, the The Ohio State team everyone wrote off when they lost to Illinois 2 weeks ago likely vaults into the national title game. They are a BCS conference champion, and have only one loss. That magic combination is something that in this Oklahoma-beats-Missouri scenario that neither the Sooners, Tigers (LSU or Missouri) or Georgia Bulldogs will have. The Buckeyes have no more games left, and that's the best thing they have going for them right now. The importance of being idle, indeed.
For instance, on Friday we had another #1 team fall by the wayside, in triple overtime no less. LSU couldn't succeed on a 2 point conversion needed to send their game against Arkansas into a 4th OT session, and the top ranked Tigers fell at home 50-48. Darren McFadden staked his claim to the Heisman, running for 206 yards and 3 TDs, leading the 8-4 Razorbacks to this stunning victory, and knocking LSU out of the national title picture.
Saturday night gave us what probably has been the game of the year up to this point. Missouri and Kansas, two schools that were definitely strangers to the national title picture before this year, met at Arrowhead Stadium to see which of them would advance to the Big 12 title game, and remain in the running for the national title. That team will be Missouri, who rode an awesome 40 of 49 performance by QB Chase Daniel to jump out to a 28-7 lead, and held on to top the previously unbeaten Jayhawks 36-28. If Missouri can win this Saturday against Oklahoma, who is the only team to have defeated them this year, they'll play for the national title.
If the Missouri Tigers get to New Orleans, they will meet a team that needs only to dispatch a dismal Pitt squad this weekend to seal their invite, the West Virginia Mountaineers. WV rolled up an insane 517 yards of rushing offense in destroying UConn 66-21 this weekend. UConn is still the second place team in the Big East, and West Virginia beat them by 45. This conference is not good. Is it fair that the Big East will have a team representing it in the national title game while the SEC will not? Probably. Still, this West Virginia team is very good, and there isn't a team in the country that they do not belong on the same field with.
Meanwhile, there is now a huge groundswell of Oklahoma Sooner fans in Columbus, OH.
If Missouri doesn't come out on top against the Sooners this weekend, the The Ohio State team everyone wrote off when they lost to Illinois 2 weeks ago likely vaults into the national title game. They are a BCS conference champion, and have only one loss. That magic combination is something that in this Oklahoma-beats-Missouri scenario that neither the Sooners, Tigers (LSU or Missouri) or Georgia Bulldogs will have. The Buckeyes have no more games left, and that's the best thing they have going for them right now. The importance of being idle, indeed.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
NFL Stretch Run- Week 11
Thanksgiving is already upon us, and that means that it's no longer ridiculous to start seriously tracking the NFL playoff picture.
So, with that mind, we bid a fond farewell to the Three Technique for 2007. I now go into my stretch run mode, and zero in on the teams that are jockeying for position in what is commonly and gayly referred to as "The Tournament".
AFC PLAYOFF PICTURE
1. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS 10-0
WON at Buffalo 56-10
Week 12 vs. Philadelphia (5-5)
One of the things I often think to myself is, "It can't possibly be as easy as the Patriots make it look." That thought segues into, "Why does it always look like nobody is covering Randy Moss?".
So I'm watching highlights of this massacre, and I'm watching the first Brady to Moss TD, which was the standard 45 yard pitch and catch that they always do. The funny thing is, the Bills are rushing TWO guys on this play, which means they are dropping nine guys back into coverage. You would think that at least two of these guys would be covering Randy Moss.
Lo and behold though, the pass is lofted up in the end zone, and the only thing impeding Moss from a long TD reception is some guy who is beat by 3 yards giving a half hearted wave at the ball. Not only that, but there is ANOTHER Patriots receiver standing on the 5 yard line with nobody within a 10 yard radius of him. What the hell are the nine guys the Bills dropped into coverage covering exactly? I don't get it.
It's stuff like this that makes me think that part of the reason the Patriots look so good this year is that most of the rest of the league looks so bad.
2. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS 8-2
WON vs. KC 13-10
Week 12 at Atlanta (3-7) Thurs Night
I don't see what the big deal is about Adam Vinatieri. He's still money from inside 25 yards.
Honestly, I don't know what to think about the Colts right now. Part of me says that they are very injured right now with Marvin Harrison, Tony Yugi-oh, Dwight Freeney, and Anthony Gonzalez all out, and that everything will be OK once Marvin comes back.
The other part of me says that watching this team play lately makes me throw up in my mouth. You've got Vinatieri shanking balls all over the place like he's Carlos Huerta, Peyton Manning throwing passes that sail out of bounds in the general vicinity of nobody, and Tony Dungy going for it on 4th and 1 on the KC five with 2 minutes left rather than kicking the field goal because he no longer has any confidence in his zillionaire kicker, then bafflingly having Manning kneel down 3 times right after that.
So the Colts on 4th and 1 go for it, telling me they have no confidence in their kicker, then the next 3 plays take the ball out of their offense's hands and turn it all over to that guy who 30 seconds ago they had no confidence in. That no make sense. The Colts look totally out of sorts right now and it starts with goofy coaching decisions like that one.
3. PITTSBURGH STEELERS 7-3
LOST at. NYJ 16-19 OT
Week 12 vs. Miami (0-10)
Wow, so uh, you lost to the Jets. Thats...thats really really bad. Seriously.
Now I ask you, how wondiferous would it be if the Steelers have back to back games against the 1-8 Jets, and the 0-10 Dolphins, and they lose them both? They are already halfway there, and shit, if they can lose to the Jets then they can certainly lose to the Dolphins too. The Steelers will be without Troy Polamalu and top receiver Santonio Holmes for this one as well, and that only adds to the intrigue.
And what is up with Willie Parker averaging under 3 yards a carry against the league's 29th ranked run defense? What's up with the Steelers letting Thomas Jones be the first guy to rush for 100 on them in the last 100 years or so?
Oh, and then there's the special teams, which have been bad all year lost this game in OT when they gave up a long punt return to Leon Washington that set up the game winning field goal.
It used to be that only the NFC was bad, now the big boys in the AFC are bringing the suck too. I don't mean to be a party pooper, but this NFL season is over. Give the Patriots their 40 point Super Bowl win now and let's go home.
4. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS 5-5
LOST at JAX 17-24
Week 12 vs. Baltimore (4-6)
Then you've got this enigmatic Chargers team. You'll hear a lot of people say, "Nyehhhhhhh, Why are the Chargers only 5-5???".
Well, in all honesty, they are lucky to be 5-5, because they rank in the bottom of third of the league in both total offense and total defense. There is nothing you can say they do particularly well at this point.
In fact, defensively you can just go right ahead and say they are downright bad. That goes for the much ballyhooed Shawne Merriman too. He's supposed to be the next, next LT, and he's got only 5 1/2 sacks right now, which ranks him 6th among NFL linebackers. As for tackles, he has 45, which ranks him SEVENTY FIRST among linebackers. The password is "Overrated".
There are problems on offense too, most notably that QB Philip Rivers has regressed markedly. He has a 76.5 passer rating after posting a 92.0 last year, and in his last 3 games he's thrown 1 TD against 5 interceptions. He's pretty terrible right now actually.
Terrible. That's a good word for this season in San Diego. Everyone involved in coaching this team should be fired, because it's ridiculous that they are not running away with a dismal AFC West.
5. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS 7-3
WON vs. SD 24-17
Week 12 vs. Buffalo (5-5)
I'm tempted to say the Jaguars are the second best team in the AFC right now. That's probably not true. They are a month removed from just getting throttled 29-7 by the Colts at home on Monday Night Football, so as bad as the Colts have looked of late, they are still probably the better team.
That said, let's not begrudge the Jags that they have played about as well as they can possibly play the last two weeks. The results have been huge wins over teams they are in competition with for playoff position, beating the Titans last week, and taking care of the Chargers in Week 11.
The running game is hitting on all cylinders. The Jags rank third in the league in rushing offense, Fred Taylor has been effective at 4.2 yards a carry, and Maurice Jones Drew has had limited carries but has averaged 5.0 yards per when he does carry the ball. QB David Garrard picked up right where he left off in his return in last week's win after a month long absence. He has been great this year. He has not thrown an INT in 172 attempts, and his 104.6 rating puts him behind only Brady, Roethlisberger, and Romo in the league table.
6. (TIE) CLEVELAND BROWNS 6-4
WON at Baltimore 33-30 OT
Week 12 vs. Houston (5-5)
Last week's win over Baltimore may have been the most exciting game of this NFL season. Down 30-27 with under 30 seconds left, the Browns got the ball in position for a Phil Dawson field goal, albeit a long one. Dawson's kick clanged off the upright, then off the crossbar, and bounced into the end zone, apparently no good.
The Ravens celebrated, and even left the field thinking the game was over. Romeo Crennel took the headset off, thinking the game was over. The officials continued to converse though. Apparently, the kick bounced not off the crossbar, but off the support behind the crossbar, meaning the kick was good, and that instead of the game being over the game was going into OT. The Browns won the toss, Dawson nailed another field goal, and instead of both teams being 5-5, the Browns are 6-4 and in the thick of the playoff race, and the Ravens are 4-6 and done.
Sure, the Browns have given up over 30 points in 5 out of their last 6 games. They've also won 4 of those games, and every week is a thriller. Who would've thought that the Cleveland Browns would be the most exciting team in the league?
So, with that mind, we bid a fond farewell to the Three Technique for 2007. I now go into my stretch run mode, and zero in on the teams that are jockeying for position in what is commonly and gayly referred to as "The Tournament".
AFC PLAYOFF PICTURE
1. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS 10-0
WON at Buffalo 56-10
Week 12 vs. Philadelphia (5-5)
One of the things I often think to myself is, "It can't possibly be as easy as the Patriots make it look." That thought segues into, "Why does it always look like nobody is covering Randy Moss?".
So I'm watching highlights of this massacre, and I'm watching the first Brady to Moss TD, which was the standard 45 yard pitch and catch that they always do. The funny thing is, the Bills are rushing TWO guys on this play, which means they are dropping nine guys back into coverage. You would think that at least two of these guys would be covering Randy Moss.
Lo and behold though, the pass is lofted up in the end zone, and the only thing impeding Moss from a long TD reception is some guy who is beat by 3 yards giving a half hearted wave at the ball. Not only that, but there is ANOTHER Patriots receiver standing on the 5 yard line with nobody within a 10 yard radius of him. What the hell are the nine guys the Bills dropped into coverage covering exactly? I don't get it.
It's stuff like this that makes me think that part of the reason the Patriots look so good this year is that most of the rest of the league looks so bad.
2. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS 8-2
WON vs. KC 13-10
Week 12 at Atlanta (3-7) Thurs Night
I don't see what the big deal is about Adam Vinatieri. He's still money from inside 25 yards.
Honestly, I don't know what to think about the Colts right now. Part of me says that they are very injured right now with Marvin Harrison, Tony Yugi-oh, Dwight Freeney, and Anthony Gonzalez all out, and that everything will be OK once Marvin comes back.
The other part of me says that watching this team play lately makes me throw up in my mouth. You've got Vinatieri shanking balls all over the place like he's Carlos Huerta, Peyton Manning throwing passes that sail out of bounds in the general vicinity of nobody, and Tony Dungy going for it on 4th and 1 on the KC five with 2 minutes left rather than kicking the field goal because he no longer has any confidence in his zillionaire kicker, then bafflingly having Manning kneel down 3 times right after that.
So the Colts on 4th and 1 go for it, telling me they have no confidence in their kicker, then the next 3 plays take the ball out of their offense's hands and turn it all over to that guy who 30 seconds ago they had no confidence in. That no make sense. The Colts look totally out of sorts right now and it starts with goofy coaching decisions like that one.
3. PITTSBURGH STEELERS 7-3
LOST at. NYJ 16-19 OT
Week 12 vs. Miami (0-10)
Wow, so uh, you lost to the Jets. Thats...thats really really bad. Seriously.
Now I ask you, how wondiferous would it be if the Steelers have back to back games against the 1-8 Jets, and the 0-10 Dolphins, and they lose them both? They are already halfway there, and shit, if they can lose to the Jets then they can certainly lose to the Dolphins too. The Steelers will be without Troy Polamalu and top receiver Santonio Holmes for this one as well, and that only adds to the intrigue.
And what is up with Willie Parker averaging under 3 yards a carry against the league's 29th ranked run defense? What's up with the Steelers letting Thomas Jones be the first guy to rush for 100 on them in the last 100 years or so?
Oh, and then there's the special teams, which have been bad all year lost this game in OT when they gave up a long punt return to Leon Washington that set up the game winning field goal.
It used to be that only the NFC was bad, now the big boys in the AFC are bringing the suck too. I don't mean to be a party pooper, but this NFL season is over. Give the Patriots their 40 point Super Bowl win now and let's go home.
4. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS 5-5
LOST at JAX 17-24
Week 12 vs. Baltimore (4-6)
Then you've got this enigmatic Chargers team. You'll hear a lot of people say, "Nyehhhhhhh, Why are the Chargers only 5-5???".
Well, in all honesty, they are lucky to be 5-5, because they rank in the bottom of third of the league in both total offense and total defense. There is nothing you can say they do particularly well at this point.
In fact, defensively you can just go right ahead and say they are downright bad. That goes for the much ballyhooed Shawne Merriman too. He's supposed to be the next, next LT, and he's got only 5 1/2 sacks right now, which ranks him 6th among NFL linebackers. As for tackles, he has 45, which ranks him SEVENTY FIRST among linebackers. The password is "Overrated".
There are problems on offense too, most notably that QB Philip Rivers has regressed markedly. He has a 76.5 passer rating after posting a 92.0 last year, and in his last 3 games he's thrown 1 TD against 5 interceptions. He's pretty terrible right now actually.
Terrible. That's a good word for this season in San Diego. Everyone involved in coaching this team should be fired, because it's ridiculous that they are not running away with a dismal AFC West.
5. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS 7-3
WON vs. SD 24-17
Week 12 vs. Buffalo (5-5)
I'm tempted to say the Jaguars are the second best team in the AFC right now. That's probably not true. They are a month removed from just getting throttled 29-7 by the Colts at home on Monday Night Football, so as bad as the Colts have looked of late, they are still probably the better team.
That said, let's not begrudge the Jags that they have played about as well as they can possibly play the last two weeks. The results have been huge wins over teams they are in competition with for playoff position, beating the Titans last week, and taking care of the Chargers in Week 11.
The running game is hitting on all cylinders. The Jags rank third in the league in rushing offense, Fred Taylor has been effective at 4.2 yards a carry, and Maurice Jones Drew has had limited carries but has averaged 5.0 yards per when he does carry the ball. QB David Garrard picked up right where he left off in his return in last week's win after a month long absence. He has been great this year. He has not thrown an INT in 172 attempts, and his 104.6 rating puts him behind only Brady, Roethlisberger, and Romo in the league table.
6. (TIE) CLEVELAND BROWNS 6-4
WON at Baltimore 33-30 OT
Week 12 vs. Houston (5-5)
Last week's win over Baltimore may have been the most exciting game of this NFL season. Down 30-27 with under 30 seconds left, the Browns got the ball in position for a Phil Dawson field goal, albeit a long one. Dawson's kick clanged off the upright, then off the crossbar, and bounced into the end zone, apparently no good.
The Ravens celebrated, and even left the field thinking the game was over. Romeo Crennel took the headset off, thinking the game was over. The officials continued to converse though. Apparently, the kick bounced not off the crossbar, but off the support behind the crossbar, meaning the kick was good, and that instead of the game being over the game was going into OT. The Browns won the toss, Dawson nailed another field goal, and instead of both teams being 5-5, the Browns are 6-4 and in the thick of the playoff race, and the Ravens are 4-6 and done.
Sure, the Browns have given up over 30 points in 5 out of their last 6 games. They've also won 4 of those games, and every week is a thriller. Who would've thought that the Cleveland Browns would be the most exciting team in the league?
6. (tie) TENNESSEE TITANS 6-4
LOST at Denver 20-34
Week 12 at Cincinnati 3-7
Last year the Titans started the season miserably, then all of a sudden started winning games and couldn't stop. That carried over into this season, when they bolted out to a 6-2 start. Could it be that just as quickly and just as severely they are now heading back in the other direction?
It wouldn't be the most surprising development. The Titans offense has been operating at peak efficiency for the last year or so despite having no skill position players who inspire any kind of confidence. The running back spot has been a revolving door, the receiving corps is terrible, and quarterback Vince Young has been winning despite putting up some horrible numbers.
All that has been covered up though, by a defense that has been among the best in the league. That defense's best player, Albert Haynesworth, has been hurt the last 2 weeks, and the unit that has been partly responsible for the 2 game losing streak has not been anywhere near what it was the first 8 games.
Even if Haynesworth comes back healthy, you get the feelings the Titans have been playing over their heads for a while now. They're only a game ahead of the Texans in their own division, and a playoff berth that seemed like a sure thing two weeks ago is slowly slipping away.
Meanwhile, the Broncos are now tied for first in the AFC West (although SD is ahead on the tiebreaker). Their defense is showing signs of being not as horrible as it was a few weeks ago, Jay Cutler is making progress, and Javon Walker comes back after a long absence this week. They may just earn the right to get massacred in the playoffs yet!
Sunday, November 18, 2007
New England Patriots Run Up Score?
Hell yeah they run up the fucking score. Do you have a problem with that? If you have a problem with a professional team running up the score, you should probably play in some fucking pee wee league where feelings matter. The Patriots used to suck ass. Now they are crazy dominant. I would run up the score too, and I am pretty modest.
I used to hate the Patriots, and so did everyone else. They won Super Bowls and had no personality. They were just a bunch of nobodies that won and never said shit during interviews. Now they cheat and run up the score. There's your personality, bitches. And now that they have personality you guys want to cry? AHHAHAHAH Every time I watch a Patriots game now I hope they get to 50. Do you miss Dave Chapelle because there's nothing funny anymore? Check out this:
- v. Jets 38-14
- v. Chargers 38-14
- v. Bills 38-7
- v. Bengles 34-14
- v. Browns 34-17
- v. Cowboys 48-27
- v. Dolphins 48-28
- v. Redskins 52-7
- v. Colts 24-20
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA It's like every week I look forward to seeing games like the Bills and Redskins. There is nothing more enjoyable than seeing a professional team get a bukake and cry about it. The other day, my wife was like, "Patrick N, want to have sex with me and 3 other girls?" I was like, "Hell no, the Patriots play the Bills today." So my wife didn't have sex with me, and I got to jack off seeing the Patriots rape the Bills again. win/win
By the way, I know you all buy hoodies and cut the sleeves like Belichick because it's fucking cool. I did it to all my hoodies and everyone is jealous of me. They even tell me I'm number one, and in return I show them they're number one by showing them my dick.
I hope the Patriots go perfect to shit on Don Shula's shitty ass perfect season that no one cares about anymore. In fact, here's what I hope happens at the end of the year:
Patriots...
- get perfect season (Don Shula and his perfect season team cries)
- have Bill Belichick get coach of the year (Commish Goodell cries)
- have Tom Brady win MVP (Peyton Manning cries)
- win Super Bowl (Everyone cries)
- give Michael Vick SARS (just because)
In an era where we see our US Dollar worth 93 cents to a Canadian Dollar, I can feel good thinking that the Patriots are running up the score and making people not feel good about themselves.
So Long Sooners
Last night in Lubbock, TX, the Oklahoma Sooners became the 2nd team in 3 days to fall from the national title race. Texas Tech's junior QB Graham Harrell threw SEVENTY TWO passes, and completed 47 of them for 420 yards, and the Texas Tech Red Raiders held on after building a 34-13 lead to stun the third ranked Sooners, 34-27.
With the Oklahoma loss, next weekends showdown between Kansas (who crushed Iowa St. 45-7 yesterday) and Missouri (who got a road win at K State 49-32) becomes a matchup of the 2nd and third ranked teams in the country. That means that the winner of that game advances to the Big 12 title game, and would then have a clear path to the BCS title game if they can survive that test, which will most likely come against Oklahoma.
The Sooner loss was a boon for the West Virginia Mountaineers. They have moved up to third in the BCS poll on the strength of that game, and their 28-23 win this weekend at a tough Cincinnati team behind a combined 258 rushing yards for QB Patrick White and RB Steve Slaton. The Mountaineers are home for their last 2 games against UConn and Pitt, and a Sooner win in the Big 12 title game would move them up to at least #2, and give them a national title date.
This week was unique in that the #1 team DIDN'T lose, as has been the custom lately. LSU managed to hold on to the top spot for at least one more week, topping Ole Miss on the road 41-24. The Tigers close the regular season schedule with a home date against Arkansas next week, then will move on to the SEC Championship game.
Buckeye Nation should be extremely interested in both the SEC and Big 12 Title games. The Buckeyes renewed their annual tradition of spanking Michigan, this time doing it in the Big House on a cold, drizzly day, grinding out a 14-3 win. While the picture above suggests the Buckeyes are going to the Rose Bowl, an LSU loss in the SEC Title game and an Oklahoma win in the Big 12 championship would set up an Ohio State vs. West Virginia national title game. It's unlikely, but in this season, unlikely means nothing.
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