Sunday, June 6, 2010

World Cup Group E Preview

Group E

Netherlands 11/1 Robben (Bayern), van Persie (Arsenal), van der Vaart (Real Madrid), Sneijder (Inter), Kuyt (Liverpool)

Denmark 66/1 Bendtner (Arsenal), Poulsen (Juventus), Kroldrup (Florentina), Agger (Liverpool), Sorensen (Stoke City)

Japan 125/1 Honda (Moscow), Shunsuke Nakamura (Yokohama), Abe (Urawa Red Diamonds)

Cameroon 66/1 Eto'o (Inter), Song (Arsenal), Makoun (Lyon), Bassong (Tottenham)

This group will be more competitive than people may think. The Dutch are straight up fool's gold. Yes they have talent, but they're fragile as hell and are chokers. I picked them in Euro 2008 and learned my lesson. Don't be raped like I did or my friend is going to be: stay away from the Dutch if you're betting. Cameroon isn't as strong as some people might think as well. They're athleticism isn't there as it has in the past, and really that's all they had when they were competitive. Japan looks like a push over, and they probably are, but they have a lot of local talent that may surprise some people, but not me who saw them live in Japan when I visited there two years ago. Denmark is a coin flip of awesomeness and fail to me. I want to say they'll be the ones coming out of the group with the Dutch, but I really can't say this with much confidence. Whatever teams come out here, don't expect them to go very far unless their team defense is strong.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

World Cup Group D Preview

Group D

Germany 9/1 Klose (Bayern), Mertesacker (Werder)

Australia 100/1 Tim Cahill (Everton)

Serbia 66/1 Stankovic (Inter), Ivonovic (Chelsea)

Ghana 66/1 Muntari (Inter) NO ESSIEN :/

A weak group all around, the winner of this group won't probably get past the first round of the knockout stage. I had Germany and Ghana coming out of this group until Essien got hurt. Now I have to pick Serbia. In fact, I find it in the realm of possibilities that Serbia could win this group given the key injuries surrounding their group rivals' injuries. Germany without the slow, but experienced Ballack is going to be a team without much direction. At first I thought this injury was a good thing because of my low opinion of Ballack, but Germany seems poised to being assed out if they don't focus.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

More World Cup Prep

Our nervous contestants continued their feverous cramming for their World Cup finals this weekend. Who impressed and who distressed?

- #41 Ireland continued to unleash its Irish Curse as retribution for their controversial elimination, beating a qualifier for the second time this week. Robbie Keane had a pair of goals as the Irish trounced #30 Algeria.

- #19 Cameroon continues to look shaky. Their 1-1 draw against #25 Slovenia was an improvement over their dreadful scoreless draw against Georgia earlier this week, but Africa's highest ranked team isn't doing a whole lot to inspire.

- #6 Germany struck fear into everyone by blitzkrieging #57 Hungary 3-0.

- #78 New Zealand has shown this week that they may not be the easy out they were supposed to be. After a hard fought one goal loss to Australia earlier in the week, they broke through with a stunning 1-0 win over #15 Serbia.

- #2 Spain famously can be counted on to shit the bed in the World Cup, no matter how good they are. They looked like they won't disappoint in that respect as they bungled to a 3-2 win over #66 Saudi Arabia. It took an injury time goal from Fernando Llorente to give them the win.

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The #14 US fell behind 1-0 to #29 Turkey in a lacklustre first half, but rebounded with goals from Jozy Altidore and Clint Dempsey in the second to avoid an embarrassing two losses in one week to teams that didn't qualify for South Africa.

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The Yanks can take solace in the fact that their opening game opponents, #8 England, didn't look great either this weekend. They trailed #45 Japan 1-0 at the half, and needed a pair of own goals in the second to escape with a victory.

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#47 South Korea looked impressive in prep wins over Japan and Ivory Coast, but looked decidedly not impressive in a 1-0 loss to #82 Belarus this weekend.

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#17 Mexico took on some really tough competition earlier in the week, losing to England and the Netherlands. They followed that up with a breezy 5-1 confidence booster against #93 Gambia this weekend. Javier Hernandez had a pair of goals as did Chivas' Bofo Bautista.

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Didier Drogba opened the scoring shortly after half for #27 Ivory Coast, but they couldn't hold the lead and managed only a 2-2 tie against #31 Paraguay in Sven Goran Eriksson's first match as the Elephants gaffer.

- #21 Nigeria limps to South Africa, following up a 0-0 draw earlier in the week to Saudi Arabia with a similarly miserable 1-1 draw against #35 Colombia.

- #9 France is another team in bad form. A shaky win earlier in the week over Costa Rica is followed up by a 1-1 draw at #55 Tunisia.

- #18 Chile had a busy and successful weekend, taking down #56 Northern Ireland 1-0, and #26 Israel 3-0.

- #83 South Africa continues to romp thru it's warm-ups, getting it's 3rd win of the week with a 5-0 blasting of #114 Guatemala.

-#20 Australia had a nice showing, topping #36 Denmark 1-0 on a late goal from Josh Kennedy.

- #32 Ghana looked a mess in getting steamrolled by #4 Netherlands 4-1. Goals for Real Madrid's Dutch castaways, Wesley Sneijder and Rafael van der Vaart.

- #3 Portugal put the Cape Verde Islands horror show behind it with a solid 3-1 win over #19 Cameroon, who has looked horrible in its prep matches. A pair of goals for FC Porto's Raul Meireles.

STOCK UP
Group A- South Africa, Mexico
Group C- Slovenia, United States
Group D- Germany, Australia
Group E- Netherlands
Group F- Paraguay, New Zealand
Group G- Portugal
Group H- Chile

STOCK DOWN
Group A- France
Group B- Nigeria, South Korea
Group C- Algeria
Group D- Serbia, Ghana
Group E- Denmark, Cameroon
Group G- Ivory Coast
Group H- Spain


Tuesday, June 1, 2010

World Cup Group C Preview

Group C

England 5/1 Rooney (Man U), Lampard (Chelsea), Gerrard (Liverpool), Fabio Capello (Manager)

United States 66/1 Buddle (Galaxy), Torres (Pachuca), Bradley (Borussia)

Algeria 150/1 HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA

Slovania 150/1 HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

Let's get real. This group was made so that the US and England advance. If either team does not advance, someone's ass gets fired. I look more ahead to the knockout stages. The United States and England would face Ghana or Germany in the knockout stage. Both are very beatable teams. After that, it's Mexico, France, Argentina, or Greece. All four are also super beatable. While England looks sure to advance far, don't be surprised if the US can get their offense rolling that they advance to the semis. The key to their offense are the three I listed. Buddle took the injured Davies's place. Buddle is really fast and a goal machine. Torres and Bradley, while young, are athletic and smart. Youth becomes that double-edged sword, but this squad's make up with the teams they have to go through has me believing a bit, and you all know I'm the most pessimistic asshole when it comes to teams I want to win.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

World Cup Group B Preview

Group B

Argentina 9/1 Milito (Inter), Aguero (Athletico Madrid), Carlos "Ugly Betty" Tevez (Man City), Messi (Barca), Higuain (Real Madrid)

Nigeria 80/1 None

South Korea 125/1 Park Ji-Sung (Manchester United)

Greece 66/1 The Whole Panathinaikos Team

My friendgirl at work really loves Argentina saying the guy who got them in our World Cup pool has already won. It's easy to see why someone would say this if you look at the key players on the team: Top scorer of Champions League winning Inter, best player in the world, top scorer for Real Madrid. However, if you look closely, all their best players are strikers. Can't play them all, right? Along with a crazy coach that's obviously in over his head, Argentina will come out of this group, but won't get past the second round of the knockout stage. I have a special place in my heart for Nigeria, and they're very athletic, but this group has two strong teams in Argentina and Greece. "GREECE?! WTF, PATRICK?!" you say? Greece is awesome. I know none of you have heard of their players because they all play in their local teams, but trust me when I say that their ranking isn't a lie and a team with mostly players from the same team will count for something. South Korea's odds are well-placed and only have a chance to tie with Nigeria. SUPER EAGLES!

Friday, May 28, 2010

World Cup Group A Preview

12 days until the World Cup and it's time to rumble. I'm dressing in my colonial outfit with my 6 homies and going to the English pub to start shit during USA/England. I'm in charge of hitting drums. What are you going to do?

Group A

South Africa (Odds to win cup) 80/1, Key Players: None, they suck

Mexico 80/1 Carlos Vela (Arsenal), Giovani dos Santos (Tottenham), Johnathan dos Santos (Barca), Cuah Blanco (Veracruz), Rafael Marquez (Barca), Luis Michel (Chivas)

Uruguay 66/1 Forlan

France 16/1 Anelka (Chelsea), Thierry Henry (Barca), Malouda (Chelsea), Jérémy Toulalan (Lyon), William Gallas (Arsenal), Anthony Réveillère (Lyon), Éric Abidal (Barca), Bacary Sagna (Arsenal)

As you can see by the odds, a pretty weak bracket. If France was in any other bracket, they wouldn't get out of the group stage. But they get lucky with a cheap ass hand ball to qualify, then they get the group with the host team from Pot 1 (Pot 1 is host team + 7 best teams in the world). Uruguay has Forlan from Athletico Madrid and not much else. South Africa is full of local club players. I like Mexico and France to get out of this group. Mexico still has a LOT of teamwork issues, but they're tuning up against tough teams, and I love the talent on their team. France is loaded, but they come off real soft to me considering they all need to sit on the toilet to pee.

Final Tune Ups For World Cup

It's been a busy week on the international stage as the World Cup Finalists get their final tune ups in for the impending extravaganza. Here's how they shook out...(teams in the tournament are in bold, each team's Coca Cola Rating is shown before them, so you can put things in some context).

- #20 Australia and #78 New Zealand hold the all important fate of Oceanic Football in their hands this year. Although they are in different groups in the tournament, they squared off to test their mettle on Monday, or maybe over there it was Tuesday, I don't really know. AZ Alkmaar's Brett Holman scored in stoppage time to give Australia a 2-1 win. The Socceroos trailed 1-0 at the half and were booed off the pitch by their home fans, who also were throwing boomerangs at them. Good thing they won or they would have been fed to the kangaroos.

- #83 South Africa may have a hard time getting out of a group that includes Mexico, France, and Uruguay. They put forth a decent showing in their tuneup this week against #39 Bulgaria. They managed a 1-1 draw thanks to an early goal by Siyabonga Sangweni.

- #45 Japan's manager Takeshi Okada had his request to commit ritualistic seppoku denied by the Japanese football authorities following their shameful 2-0 home loss to #47 South Korea.

- #3 Portugal limped to a bizarre 0-0 draw at home against the Cape Verde Islands. It wasn't that they rested all their stars. They didn't. They had Cristiano Ronaldo starting and still couldn't score against the #114 Cape Verde Islands. My God.

- #7 Argentina inspired coach Diego Maradona to threaten us all with running around naked if his team wins the World Cup, thanks to their 5-0 thrashing of #63 Canada.

- Leave it to #8 England to flagellate themselves for not playing well enough and being convinced they are doomed even though from where I am sitting they looked fine in a workmanlike 3-1 home win over #17 Mexico.

- In a matchup of the 2 worst governed nations on Earth, there fittingly were no winners. #13 Greece and #105 North Korea played to a 2-2 draw. An interesting result though for a North Korea team that nobody knows anything about, playing a top 20 team to a draw.

- #19 Cameroon's Indomitable Lions weren't domited by #120 Georgia, but they didn't inspire a lot of confidence either as they sleepwalked to a 0-0 draw.

- #21 Nigeria was another African Nation in this watershed event for the continent that failed to impress in their prep this week, 0-0 against #66 Saudi Arabia.

- #41 Ireland was famously robbed of a spot in this tournament thanks to some goofy officiating in their qualifier against France. They took it out on #31 Paraguay, beating them 2-1 in Dublin.

- The #14 United States didn't play their A-lineup against the #33 Czech Republic, but still it's hard to take anything positive out of the 4-2 loss they suffered in Connecticut against a non-qualifying nation.

- #18 Chile bumbled to a 0-0 halftime score at home against #71 Zambia, but finally found their game after the break to cruise to a 3-0 win.

- #17 Mexico had a really busy week, just 2 days after facing England they turned around and took on #4 Netherlands. 2 goals from Robin van Persie in a driving rain gave Holland a 2-1 win. A pretty demanding preparation week for Mexico though, going across the ocean and playing 2 games in 3 days against top 10 teams. We'll see if that helps them when the games count in a couple of weeks.

- #36 Denmark looked like a team that could sneak into the 2nd round in a draw that includes Japan and Cameroon, who both failed to impress this week. They topped #75 Senegal 2-0.

- #16 Uruguay has a pretty favorable draw, and they looked like they have the intention of taking advantage of it when they battered #25 Israel 4-1 in Montevideo.

- #9 France continues to sputter. They fell behind #40 Costa Rica early before bouncing back to win 2-1 on a late goal from OM's Mathieu Valbuena. Valbueno!

- Not that anyone is expecting big things in South Africa from #38 Honduras, but they really looked like easy pickin's in a lackluster 2-2 draw against #82 Belarus.

- All 3 goals of #83 South Africa's 2-1 win over #35 Colombia were scored on PK's.

STOCK RISING
Group A- Uruguay, South Africa
B- South Korea, Argentina
C- England
E- Denmark
G- North Korea

STOCK FALLING
Group A- France
B- Nigeria, Greece
C- United States
D- Australia
E- Cameroon, Japan
F- Paraguay
G- Portugal
H- Honduras