Week 15 NFC Playoff Picture

WEEK 15
NFC
1. CHICAGO BEARS (12-2)
WON v. Tampa Bay 34-31 OT

A team that gave up 3 second half TD passes by the undead Tim Rattay and had to battle into the wee small minutes of overtime to finish off the 3-11 Bucs at home is 12-2 and has clinched homefield advantage throughout the NFC Playoffs. Thus proving beyond any shadow of a doubt that the winner of the NFC should be awarded a berth in the Poulin Weed Smoker Bowl, while the SEC champion should advance to meet the AFC champion in Super Bowl Whatever Number This Upcoming Super Bowl Is.

The Bears can now look back fondly on the halcyon days of 2 weeks ago when their biggest problem was having a quarterback who could not post a double digit rating in an NFL game. Now their defense is a mess and they've got Tank Johnson's capering to explain. If you told me that a Bears Super Bowl year could be this little fun I would never have believed you.

NEXT WEEK
at Detroit (2-12)
The Bears have nothing to play for and the Lions have nothing to live for.


It Is Time to Unleash Tim Rattay On the World

2. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (9-5)
LOST vs. Washington 10-16

I think this picture says it all.



I've never seen somebody so ecstatic after clinching a division championship by losing at home to a team that hadn't won on the road in almost 3 months.

NEXT WEEK
at NY Giants (7-7)
The Saints, by virtue of their Week 14 win over Dallas, pretty much need to drop both of their remaining games to avoid getting a first round bye. The Giants, meanwhile, are hanging on to the final NFC wildcard spot via a tiebreaker over the Falcons, who are also 7-7. Of course, both of these teams have been so bad lately that they've let the PACKERS, I shit you not, back into the NFC Wildcard chase. It's getting to the point where I just don't care anymore. I'm starting to think the Padres are going to get in the NFC Playoffs.

3. DALLAS COWBOYS (9-5)
WON at Atlanta 38-28
Since the only kind of victories in the NFC are Pyrrhic ones, lets examine the flaws the Cowboys showed in their win over the Falcons. They let Michael Vick throw 4 TD passes, a week after Drew Brees hung 5 TD passes on them. You've got to be fearing that Bill Parcells defense right about now.

TO also spit in D'Angelo Hall's face in this game, drawing a $35,000 fine, which means now he's only got like 24 million 9 hundred thousand and 65 reasons not to kill himself, or something like that.

NEXT WEEK
vs. Philadelphia (8-6); Monday Night
Jeff Garcia's Eagles vs. TO's Cowboys for the NFC East Title on Monday Night Christmas Night Football. High Five. If any of you have forgotten, when a reporter asked TO a couple years ago if his ex-teammate Garcia was gay, TO said something to the effect of, "It it walks like a duck..etc. etc.", so there you go, this will be good.


TO Is Within Spitting Distance of the Playoffs.

4. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (8-6)
LOST v. San Francisco 14-24
Then you've got this team. They somehow keep their head above water despite being without last year's NFL MVP and having to start a quarterback who is 4 1/2 feet tall and had never seen any meaningful playing time in his career. When they get the MVP and the QB back, they can't muster up the wherewithal to beat the Cardinals or the 49ers. I keep hearing about how everybody keeps forgetting about the Seahawks. Know why everyone forgets about the Seahawks? Because people like to forget things that suck.

NEXT WEEK
vs. San Diego (12-2)
A team that not once but twice has allowed the 49ers to rush for over 200 yards against them tries its luck against LT. That should work out great.




Seahawks Mediocre Again

That's it for the NFC division leaders, Wednesday it's the AFC. Thursday, sifting thru the wildcard compost heap.