It pitted Peyton Manning and his cursed Colts, who have advanced to the playoffs only to fail once there every year since Manning took over for Johnny Unitas as the Colts quarterback in 1971, against the 15 time Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots and their devastatingly handsome QB/Coach tandem of Tom Brady and Bill Belichick.
So, without further introduction, thru the magic of free game highlights on NFL.com, I give you the 2007 Game to Decide the 2006 AFC Champion.
- We come to you from the RCA Dome in Indianapolis, Indiana. I don't even know what RCA makes anymore. When is the last time you saw an RCA TV? Does the company still exist?
- Brady! Manning! Dungy! Belichick!
- Our first highlight begins with the Patriots set up comfortably on the Colts five yard line. Brady hands off to Maroney, and Holy Dredlocks! The ball is loose! A five meter scrum ensues, and thanks to the horseshoe that is firmly ensconced in the ass of the New England franchise, the ball squirts free into the end zone where the Pats fall on it and turn potential disaster into a touchdown.
- Next, the Patriots are once again deep in Colts territory. Brady gives to Corey Dillon on the draw. Corey makes an Indy corner looks silly, while the safety is being driven into the sea, Dillon walks in.
- Now Manning throws for the sideline, and he's PICKED OFF by Asante Samuel, who strolls in for a touchdown, and the Colts are just getting rolled.
- We move to the second half, and Peyton Manning is attempting to bring the Colts back from the dead. He does the one yard plunge into the end zone, and the Colts have the spirit of the buffalo once again.
- Lat in the third quarter, Manning runs a play action pass, and finds a wide open fat man in the end zone for a touchdown!! The Colts are now within 2!
- They go for 2. Manning evades pressure up the middle, and just in the nick time lofts a perfect touch pass near the right edge of the end zone to Marvin Harrison to tie the game up at 21.
- Now the Evil Tom Brady dances around in the pocket near the Colts 10, he finds Jabar Gaffney in the back of the end zone, who makes a great catch while being pushed out of bounds. Because he was pushed out of bounds, the ruling is that it is a catch. Now that Jabar Gaffney doesn't have David Carr holding the ball like it has the antidote in it, he's a superstar all of a sudden, and the Pats are back on top, 28-21.
- Early in the 4th quarter, the Colts are threatening to tie it at 28. Dominic Rhodes runs the stretch play, and FUMBLES! But, as was the fashion at the time, an offensive lineman falls on the ball in the end zone, and the Colts score. This is inspiring me to make it my mission in life to become the greatest fumble recoverer of all time.
- We have just about a minute left in the game now, and Joseph Addai runs it in from 5 yards out to put Indy up 38-34. But there is just enough time left for Tom Brady to make everybody cry.
- Except this time, Brady is PICKED OFF by someone whose wife presumably didn't stab him the leg the night before the game. See how much better you play when you and your old lady DON'T have knife fights 12 hours before a playoff game? I think there might be something to that.
- The Colts win! They are going to the Super Bowl! Belichick runs off the field, crying like a little girl. Fade to black.
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