The Sox are off to a rip-roaring 0-3 start in the Cactus League, but thanks to my position by position review of the AL Central, we can all take solace in knowing that the Sox are tops in the division on the right side of the infield. How does 2005 World Series hero and expert marksman Juan Uribe stack up against his counterparts at shortstop? Let's find out.
JUAN URIBE- SOX- .235 AVG/21 HR/71 RBI/ 53 R 1 SB/ .698 OPS
Uribe had an on base percentage of .257 last year. 257 is an unacceptable on base percentage for anyone who is not a pitcher or a bat boy. That and he was accused of shooting someone in the DR this winter. Yet, we as Sox fans continue to obsess over who our fifth starter will be, oblivious to the fact we have a terrible excuse for a shortstop.
JASON BARTLETT- MIN- .309/2/32/ 44 R 10 SB/ .760 OPS
The Twins had so much faith in Bartlett that instead of making him their Opening Day shortstop last year they went with the God-awful 35 year old Juan Castro. Then they found themselves 10 games under .500 in June, decided to throw in the towel on the season and give Bartlett and other not-quite prospects like him enough rope to hang themselves and play them everyday, and went 70-5 the rest of the way to win the AL Central. The Twins have what the French call Le Horseshoe Up Le Derrierre.
CARLOS GUILLEN- DET- .320/19/85/ 100 R 20 SB/ .920 OPS
He had an MVP type season last year, but has been injury prone and drinky throughout his career. He lost about a year and a half of his career to a bout with tuberculosis. This year, I predict whooping cough.
JHONNY PERALTA- CLE- .257/13/68/ 84 R 0 SB/ .708 OPS
Who wouldn't want a shortstop who strikes out 150 times a season? I think "Jhonny Peralta" is Dominican for "Jose Valentin".
ANGEL BERROA- KC- .234/9/54/ 45 R 3 SB/ .592 OPS
Can't hit, can't field. He once was AL Rookie of the Year. Kind of like how Cuba Gooding Jr. once won an Oscar, then went on to star in Boat Trip.
RANKINGS
1. GUILLEN- DET
2. PERALTA- CLE
3. BARTLETT- MIN
4. URIBE- SOX
5. BERROA- KC
1 comment:
Just for kicks, I think you should compare the lineup of the slow pitch softball juggernaut Jacob's Best to the rest of the AL Central. With Vic, Hogger, and Crotch Monster leading the way, I'm sure they would finish ahead of the Royals.
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