Champions League Knockout Rounds

Pairing	Teams	Comment
1	Celtic vs Barcelona	Celtic has one of my favorite players, Shunsuke Nakamura against my hated Barcelona. If you read my rankings, Barca has too many weapons and a bitter UEFA Cup exit three seasons ago to remember about. This will be pretty easy for Barca to win.
2	Lyon vs Manchester United	Oli Porter laughed at me in gmail chat for putting Lyon in my top ten. Well who's laughing now you fucker! He is after Man U stomps on poor Lyon showing how much better English soccer is compared to French.
3	Schalke vs. FC Porto	Okay, for reals, I don't know shit about Schalke except that they are German. I do know if Porto wants to shed the Ohio State soft ass league off them, they'll need to take a dump like it's a German face-shitting video. Watch for Ricardo Quaresma who is comparable to Cristiano Ronaldo and is probably headed to Spain or England in the near future.
4	Liverpool vs. Inter Milan	While Oli has a big ole boner for Liverpool, I'm just not buying them this year. Conflicts with Liverpool manager Benitez and the owners against my #2 Inter means domination nation. Just a hint if you're watching, this match up is going to be boring as fuck.
5	AS Roma vs Real Madrid	GOD WTF. Why does my team get paired with fucking gangster Roma. They'll be stabbing if they lose and their team is bad ass. My guess is that my Real Madrid get pwnd or RM wins on penalties. RM hasn't even hit their form yet and their still in first place, so here's hoping they figure it out before they get embarassed.
6	Arsenal vs AC Milan	Man fuck Kaka and his shitty ass player off the year and his shitty ass World Club Championship. Floppin' Fabragas needs to show Kaka he aint shit. Arsenal wins this or Michael Vick contracts AIDS from prison. win/win
7	Olympiakos vs Chelsea	The only reason I know Olympiakos is because they picked up Nery Castillo awhile ago. Castillo is a Mexican player that shit on Brazil and pretty much rapes all. Nery recently paid his way to join Man U rivals Manchester City. The cool part? Nery still remembers getting seven tryouts from Manchester United and being forgotten. Now he plays for a pretty good fucking team that's their city rivals. Awesome. Why haven't I talked about this match up? Because Chelsea is going to rape them. Bad. Like it's prison.
8	Fenerbahce vs Sevilla	LMFAO! Some bitches from the Turkey super league made it into champions league knock out stages! Here's the scoop on these Turkey fuckers: They have Roberto Carlos (from Real Madrid), Stephen Appaih (from Juventus), Colin Kazim-Richards (from Sheffield United), and Mateja Kezman (from Athletico Madrid). Everyone else is from Donkey Dick FC United. Seriously, if Sevilla doesn't win this, fuck them they're the Ravens of soccer and need to uninstall their lives.