Monday Night Exhibition Madness

The first weekend of the NFL preseason was brought to its merciful conclusion last night with a pair of Monday night tilts. Let's review some MNF while I review this MILF who is sitting here in the hotel lobby.

Patrick tells me that vacation is overrated. I'm beginning to agree with him. I'm starting to feel like you pay 200 dollars a night to live like a homeless person for a week when you're staying at a hotel. All I do is drink and wander around aimlessly all day, which is pretty much what homeless people do.

RAVENS 29, EAGLES 3 (Halftime- Ravens 13-3)
Hey, Eagles, have an ass kicking. I know the preseason doesn't matter, but you never like to get fistrammed like this in any type of football game. The Eagles ran for only 23 yards in this game. Willis McGahee made his Ravens debut and carried 4 times for 20 yards. I have read numerous preseason publications this year that all say the Ravens are going to run to the outside a lot more this year because they have McGahee now instead of Jamal Lewis. I am going to try that with the Ravens when I pick up Madden 08 when I get back to America. I bet I can't run outside with McGahee though, you can't fucking run anywhere in those games. It should be called Super No-Run Football.

BRONCOS 17, NINERS 13 (Halftime- Broncos 14-13)
This was the ESPN Monday Night game. Travis Henry made his Broncos debut and averaged over 5 yards on 5 carries and scored a TD. He is quietly emerging as a fantasy beast. Bet you didn't see that one coming. Mike Bell also averaged over 5 yards on 10 carries. Remember last year at this time at your fantasy draft when you had that big draft board you ordered from whatever web site does your draft, and they didn't have a sticker for Mike Bell b/c he came out of nowhere to be the Broncos starting running back? That was so gay.

Speaking of gay, I was watching Rocky III on Spike TV last night, and now realize that's probably the most homosexual movie ever made. I mean, basically the plotline is that Apollo Creed trains Rocky to be gay in order to beat Mr. T. He has him lose 20 pounds, prance around in hot pants and a bare midriff tank top, and splash around playfully on the beach with him after running windsprints. Then before the big match at the end with Rocky against Mr. T, T tells Rocky something like "I'm going to tear you up", and Rocky says "Go for it", in this swishy voice. I expected him to drop his pants and bend over right there.