More Week 2

(1-1) TEXANS 33, (0-2) CARDINALS 20
Matt Schaub played well for the Texans, engineering an 11 play, 85 yard drive that ended with him scampering for a 5 yard TD. I mean it, he had a little engineers hat on while he was scampering. Arizona also got a nice stint out of its QB, Matt Leinart, who went 7 for 7 with a TD pass to Edgerrin James. Leinart was told earlier in the week by coach Ken Whisenhunt to "Get his shit together or else." Actually, I don't think that's verbatim what Whisenhunt said, but I think that's what he meant. The Cardinals have lost Oliver Ross, their starting LT, for the season with an injury, and he'll be replaced by first round draft choice Levi Brown. Texans' third round rookie Jacoby Jones had an 80 yard punt return for a TD.

(2-0) LIONS 23, (1-1) BROWNS 20
Brady Quinn made his NFL debut and threw 2 TD passes. This can only add fuel to the fire of the burning question that has kept me up at night for the last 3 months, the question of "Who is the bigger douchebag, Brady Quinn or Rex Grossman?". Calvin Johnson didn't have any catches, or didn't play. All I know is I don't see his name in the boxscore and I'm too lazy to open up the Gamebook and see if he was in the lineup or not. The Lions are 2-0 in the preseason, and Roy Williams has revised his prediction of the Lions going 16-0 to the Lions going 27-0.

(1-1) JAGUARS 31, (1-1) BUCS 19
I see here that David Boston caught a TD pass from Jeff Garcia. This is awesome. This can only mean I've traveled back in time to the year 2000. I will use my knowledge of the future to get the 2000 vintage Britney in da butt now. The Jaguars reeled off 31 unanswered points at one point in this game. I don't care if it's preseason or if you're playing this game on the moon, that's not good for the Bucs. DE Gaines Adams, the 4th pick in the 07 draft, had a sack and a forced fumble for Tampa, so they can hang their hat on that I guess. Mojo Drew had a 38 yard reception for the Jags, and Fred Taylor and LaBrandon Toefield both had TDs.

(1-2) SAINTS 27, (0-2) BENGALS 19
In exhibition games, you really only need concern yourself with what happens early in the game. In this game, the Saints clobbered the Bengals for the first 20 minutes, building a 17-3 lead as they drove up and down the field on a hapless Bengal defense. Reggie Bush and Deuce McAllister both ran for TDs, and Drew Brees completed all 6 of his pass attempts. That creaking noise you're hearing may be the sound of the Bengals' window closing. Either that, or someone is breaking into your house.

That's all the recaps for today...you'll get more tomorrow...in the meantime...have some NEWS why don't ya???

- Michael Vick is going to prison. I tell you this in case you've been living on Mars, in a cave, with your eyes closed, and your fingers in your ears. The estimate on when he will return to the NFL is 2010. By then, I should be too busy with my robot girlfriend to care.

- Tom Brady has let it be known he would like a few days off when Bridget Moynahan drops his baby on the world. Shit, if Tom Brady wants time off every time somebody has one of his babies, he's going to be missing a LOT of time, yo.

- The Eagles have released LB Jeremiah Trotter. Trotter's 30 years old and a 4 time Pro Bowler.

- A sprained knee suffered by Broncos' running back Travis Henry in last weekend's preseason tilt threw my fantasy draft into a big tizzy. Don't expect to see him any more in the preseason. As for the long-term effects, we'll just have to wait and see. I'm so damn informative.

- The Broncos made more news today when they traded DT Gerard Warren to the division rival Raiders. Warren enjoyed some moderate success in Denver after being the second first overall pick in the draft the Browns completely whiffed on (the recently released by the Jaguars Tim Couch being the other.)