Love Those Bowls

It's been a while since we checked in with the somewhat amusing college bowl season. What's been going down in these mostly meaningless skirmishes?

BCS BOWLS

FIESTA BOWL

West Virginia 48, Oklahoma 28
Hey way to dump all over yourself OU. Always good to get drummed by a team without a coach and who lost at home to Dave Wannstedt the last time they played. On the plus side, this game gave me the most priceless image of this football season, when FOX panned to the sidelines and showed good ol' JR, the WWE's Jim Ross, decked out in full Sooner regalia and looking like someone just shit in his cowboy hat as he watched the Sooners screwing the pooch.

SUGAR BOWL
Georgia 41, Hawaii 10

Next year when some WAC team inevitably goes undefeated, please anyone in the TV football analyst industry, please think of this game before opening your mouth and saying "This team is undefeated and deserves a chance to play for the National Championship". No, they don't.

ROSE BOWL

USC 49, Illinois 17
This brought back memories of New Years Day 1984 for me, when me and my dad watched Illinois get their doors blown off by UCLA the last time the Illini were in the Rose Bowl. I remember this day because the night before I stayed up until 3 AM, which at that point was the latest I had ever stayed up. I was nine, so that's pretty good.

PRETEND BCS NEW YEARS DAY BOWLS

GATOR BOWL

Texas Tech 31, Virginia 28

I think there were like 10,000 people at this game. 5000 of them thought Florida was playing.

CAPITAL ONE BOWL

Michigan 41, Florida 35

Tim Tebow, go to Wikipedia and look up Matt Jones. I think there you will find your future.

COTTON BOWL

Missouri 38, Arkansas 7

Tigers' Tony Temple rushes for 281 yards and 4 TDs. Not bad considering he rushed for only 26 yards in the Big 12 championship game.

OUTBACK BOWL

Tennessee 21, Wisconsin 17

Eric Ainge was as deadly as a Bloomin' Onion followed by a plate of Macaroo and Cheese, throwing for 365 yards and 2 TDs in the Vols' win.

BULLSHIT BOWLS

CHICK-FIL-A BOWL

Auburn 23, Clemson 20 OT

This game always inspires me to listen to "Army" by Ben Folds Five. It's the only other time I hear the words "Chick-Fil-A" all year long.

INSIGHT BOWL

Oklahoma St. 49, Indiana 33

An awesome matchup of two teams who didn't have winning records in their conferences. I'm a man! I'm 40!

MUSIC CITY BOWL

Kentucky 35, Florida St. 28

Not a bad showing for FSU considering they had to use their intramural flag football champions for this game after everyone else got suspended.

SUN BOWL

Oregon 56, South Florida 21

Junior Jonathan Stewart runs for 253 yards, Oregon halts 3 game losing streak. South Florida wins title of "worst team that was once #2 in the nation this season".

HUMANITARIAN BOWL

Fresno St. 40, Georgia Tech 28

Someone please be a humanitarian and get me my throwing up bucket.

ARMED FORCES BOWL

Cal 42, Air Force 36

Our military can't beat a bunch of faggy hippies from Berkeley in the ARMED FORCES BOWL. Hope you all like egg rolls, because the Chinese are going to ROLL us in World War 3.

INDEPENDENCE BOWL

Alabama 30, Colorado 24

Why are two .500 teams playing in the postseason? This is worse than the NBA playoffs.

ALAMO BOWL

Penn St. 24, Texas A+M 17

I wonder if these teams got to see the basement of the Alamo.

LIBERTY BOWL

Mississippi State 10, UCF 3

UCF's running back Kevin Smith could have broken Barry Sanders' single season rushing record in this game. Coulda but didnta.

MEINEKE BOWL

Wake Forest 24, Connecticut 10

Wake me when the bowl season is over.