Asian Cup, Blanco vs. Becks Debut

I'm still writing from Japan, and boy they got some weird shit here. They have a toilet that blasts water in your a-hole to clean that shit up, literally. I ordered pizza at an "Italian" restaurant, and they put soy sauce in my pizza. That was pretty gross. But it as cool. I just threw up the pizza in a Japanese toilet and rinsed my mouth with a-hole water.

Asian Cup

I guess I'm pretty awesome because all my predictions came true for the Asian Cup. Iraq shit on Vietnam because Vietnam was just not that good. Japan and Korea won from PKs, and Saudi Arabia barely wins 2-1. So now we have Iraq/Japan and Korea/Saudi Arabia. Japan looked highly organized in their game against Australia kickin' in the back, maintaining posession, and laying crosses in front of the horrible Australian goalie like a teabag. I'm picking Japan to win it all and defend their title.

Beckham vs. Blanco

Beckham made his debut on a busted ankle against Chelsea. What a stupid move considering you have some Chelsea players fighting for a starting spot (see Beckham getting dumped by Steve Sidwell). We learned one thing from that game: Becks has a bullseye on his back. Someone's going to make a name for himself taking Becks out. I can't wait for Becks to show his real intensity and get red carded out. HAHAHAHAHHA thanks for paying to see him.

The real superstar of the MLS is Blanco for the Chicago Fire. Blanco was busting tricks and shitting all over Celtic FC in a friendly. If you want to see real soccer, watch Blanco.

"He brings something special to the team," Fire coach Juan Carlos Osorio said. " You notice in 75 percent of the times we got in the attacking third, it was through him that we created the better chances."

75% motherfuckers. That's exactly what I was telling people. He's not over the fucking hill. Some SI writer who knew shit about soccer was saying Blanco was going to be nothing and that he was over the hill. I sent that asshole an emailing telling him Blanco carried Club America, a favorite for the title, on his back and maybe he should watch a game Blanco plays in to see how much he determines how CA's offense goes. Now he's doing the same shit for the Chicago Fire against quality teams. IN YOUR FACE SPORTS ILLUSTRATED. IN YOUR MOTHERFUCKING FACE. Go find a Japanese toilet and rinse your mouth with some a-hole water because all that's coming out of your mouth is dog shit.