Thursday, July 31, 2008

Nicky Goes Thru 2 a Days- Bucs/Saints



The rest of the NFC South shit the bed last year, and the Bucs reaped the benefits, with sexy results. A team that went 4-12 in 2006 rebounded with a division title, and they did it without any superstars on either side of the ball.

Jeff Garcia arrived in Tampa to put a stop to the 8 quarterback insanity that had reigned at that position for the Bucs recently. He wasn't spectacular, but he was an extremely good game manager, throwing only 4 interceptions the entire season. Cadillac Williams went down with what might be a career ending injury early in the year, but Earnest Graham stepped in and had over 1200 all purpose yards. Finally, Joey Galloway continued to defy the aging process to post a 1000 yard season and serve as the Bucs lone big play threat, but a very effective one.

The main reason for the Bucs success though, was the defense. The D ranked in the top 10 in the league in Y/A against both the run and the pass, as they played the Tampa 2 to perfection, which only makes sense since the friggin defense is named after them right?


Things went so well last year that the Bucs are bringing back pretty much the same bunch this year. For now. Of course, anyone who has been following the Brett Favre melodrama know that the Bucs are at the top of the list of teams Favre might be headed to. That would be a bad move for the Bucs. This is a team that relies on ball control, game management, and not turning the ball over. Jeff Garcia does all those things better than Favre. Garcia has been an underrated QB throughout his career and he should have another good year if the Bucs keep him as their starter.

Cadillac is probably not going to play this year, which means Earnest Graham remains the starter. He looked like a diamond in the rough last year, so the Bucs should be good to go with him.

The defense is youngish and pretty rock solid. They could have used a little help with the pass rush, but they are counting on that coming from last year's 4th overall pick Gaines Adams making a big step forward from the six sacks he had last year.

This is a team whose whole is greater than the sum of its parts, but it's also a team that overacheived last year, partly because the rest of the division was in the bell jar. The Bucs will play hard and be in the thick of the playoff race this year, but I don't think that they have that extra razzle dazzle to propel them back into the postseason. Call it 8-8 or 9-7 with a near miss at the playoffs.



A lot of people, me included, picked the Saints to go to the Super Bowl last year. That didn't turn out so good. An 0-4 start put the Saints in a gaping crevasse, and even though they won 4 in a row right after that, the loss of both featured running backs (Deuce McAllister and Reggie Bush) proved to be too much to overcome as the Saints stumbled to a 7-9 finish and missed the playoffs.

In addition to losing 2 of their marquee offensive players, the Saints were saddled with a horrendous defense which ranked dead last in the league in passing Y/A. The secondary was memorably torched by Peyton Manning in the season opener and never recovered, while the front seven failed to generate any kind of pass rush and was only mediocre at stopping the run.


The Saints had 2 areas in which they were atrocious last year, running the ball (29th in Y/A), and as I pointed out earlier, stopping the pass.

They are banking that the return of Bush and McAllister will solve that first problem. That theory is questionable though. McAllister had microfracture surgery and may never be the same, while as for Bush, replace the "h" in his last name with a "t" and that's what he's pretty much been so far in his 2 year career. Pierre Thomas turned some heads late in the season, averaging 4.8 yards per carry after Bush went down, and for all we know could end up the feature back again if shit doesn't turn out as planned.

While they may struggle to run the ball, the Saints make up for it with one of the best passing offenses in the game. Drew Brees had a little bit of a down year last year but is still one of if not the best QB in the NFC, and he's now got two of the most dangerous weapons in the league to throw to in 1202 yard receiver Marques Colston, and newly acquired veteran TE Jeremy Shockey. Remember, Brees and Antonio Gates had a nice thing going in SD, so the acquisition of Shockey should be a good fit for this team.

Meanwhile, the defense may still be weak in the secondary, but they did a lot to shore up the front seven this year, particularly up the middle. They signed LB Jonathan Vilma from the Jets, who is coming off an injury but is still young and was one of the best before getting hurt, and grabbed DT Sedrick Ellis with the seventh overall pick in the draft. The Saints defense won't be setting any records this year, but I don't think they'll rank dead last in any category either, and that would be an improvement.


You can be a flawed team, which the Saints are, and still win the NFC South. The Saints and the Bucs are really the only 2 teams capable of doing so this year, and I think if the Saints offense can stay healthy, their defense should be improved enough to not totally screw things up again. I'm not predicting any Super Bowls this year, but I think 10 wins and a playoff spot is do-able.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Earthquake In My Classroom

This isn't a sports post. This is a post about the LA earthquake.

I'm teaching summer school right now (most of you that know me know I teach college and continuation school). They gave me this ESL class where I teach English to mostly fresh as hell immigrants, most from Mexico. I would like to note right now that I love this kind of student because they are the nicest students ever and love America.

So I'm chilling in my classroom and the earthquake happens. What did Patrick N do? Remember all those times I told you Patrick N was for himself and that's it? Some of you thought I was just playing a character. I was one of those people until today. See, the earthquake happens and Patrick N hides under his desk like you're supposed to when an earthquake occurs. Oh. No. I didn't tell the ESL students to do shit. So I'm hiding comfortably under my big ass desk and the kids are like, WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DO WE NEVER BEEN IN AN EARTHQUAKE. WTFFFFFF AMERICAN TEACHERS.

Finally, my class translator said not to panic and told the kids to duck and cover. I thought it was a good time to announce to the class that I needed a hug.

Today they learned the best lesson in American culture. Need help? Fuck you. Help yourself.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Nicky Goes Thru 2 a Days- Bears/Lions


The Bears had a nice little run of winning a lot of games despite rolling out a parade of inconsistent and/or incompetent quarterbacks the past couple of years. That run came to an end in 2007.

This team's offensive struggles have been well documented over the years. From Good Rex to Bad Rex, and 2005 4th overall pick Cedric Benson's failure and subsequent dismissal from the team. Everyone knows all about that stuff.

What people don't talk about though was the reason shit finally fell apart was because while the defense had been very good in the past, it sucked just as bad as the offense did last year. The Bears defense ranked in the bottom third of the league in Y/A (yards per attempt) against both the run and the pass.

The one bright spot in a miserable 7-9 season was Devin Hester. The second year dynamo had 6 special teams touchdowns, and 2 more as a wide receiver. With the exception of Randy Moss, nobody was a bigger game changer than he was. It became a weekly guessing game as to how teams would deal with Hester each week, with teams that opted to kick to him invariably paying for it dearly.

The plan to improve the offense was to get rid of everyone except the guy who probably deserves to be launched the most, Rex Grossman. The Bears gave free agent Rex a one year make good deal, and declared an open (wink wink) competition between him and Kyle Orton for the starting QB job. Both starting wideouts from last year are gone, so whoever "wins" this job has the unenviable task of working with an offense whose #1 receiver is a fossil who hasn't been productive in 4 years (Marty Booker), and a starting running back who is a rookie from Tulane (Matt Forte). The offensive line, which was average at best last year, brings most of the same crew back, another year older. This could be a historically bad offense.

Making things worse, the Bears labor under the illusion that they still have an elite defense, which they do not. No additions were made to shore up what was in fact a bad defense last year. There isn't a whole lot of youth on the defense either, so another year probably won't make them better, it will make them worse.

This is going to be a very bad team. The Bears under GM Jerry Angelo have long operated with a hubris that indicates they think they are smarter than they are everyone else. They're not. This team will struggle on both sides of the ball, and be ridiculously bad on offense. Devin Hester will help provide field position, but that's about all this team's got going for it this year.



The Lions were actually 6-2 at one point last year and I am not making this up. Unfortunately for Matt Millen, Rod Marinelli, and Mike Martz, this strange electromagnetic anomaly that produced a dimension where the Lions were good and people threw ducks at ballloons and nothing was as it seemed didn't last, and the Lions lost 7 out of their last 8 to finish with a losing record for the 7th consecutive season.

7 losing seasons in a row is not an easy feat to pull off in the NFL. The league is set up to ensure that doesn't happen. But then, the league didn't account for Matt Millen's incompetent boobery either.

Things disintegrated in the second half of the season because the defense was absolutely atrocious. In the last 6 games of the season, the Lions gave up an average of 35.3 points per game. Things weren't helped by Mike Martz's wacky offense where he'd throw the ball 50 times a game, ensuring the clock would stop a lot and that awful defense would get a lot more chances to be scored upon.


Millen's response to last year's collapse was to get rid of Martz, and get rid of just about everyone who was on the defense last year and bring in a bunch of rejects from Tampa to play the Tampa 2. The biggest offseason move was to trade DT Shaun Rogers, who was the Lions best player on either side of the ball and the only guy who generated any sort of pass rush, for Browns oft-injured corner Leigh Bodden. Bodden is good if he's healthy, but the secondary is now going to be even more taxed than it was last year because opposing quarterbacks are going to have all day to throw.

On offense, the plan is to do a 180 from the Arena Football offense they ran last year, and install a conservative offense centered around the running game. The guys doing the bulk of that running will be former Bronco Tatum Bell, who ran for a whole 182 yards with the Lions last year, and rookie Kevin Smith, who carried the ball like 500 times in college last year so I'm sure there's a lot of life left in those legs or not.

There's 2 really bad teams in the NFC North this year, and the Lions are one of them. There ain't gonna be any 6-2 start this year, and there certainly won't be 7 wins. There will be an 8th consecutive losing season, and an ugly one at that.

Craplacticos: Rivalry, Society

Episode 5 (one more to go!)

Religious vs. Political

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Nicky Goes Thru 2 a Days- Packers/Vikings

Sorry I missed 2 a days yesterday. I was held out of practice with a swollen groin. My fiancee has her bachelorette party this weekend though, so I have plenty of time to write while she is out whooring it up one last time before she officially becomes my property. King of the castle...king of the castle.



Depending on your point of view, last year was the year where Brett Favre officially became Jesus' younger brother or received such an Obama like amount of fawning over by the media that you had to be hospitalized for dehydration after vomiting so much.

The Packers built on a strong finish to the the 2006 season, and ran away with the NFC North in 2007. While the talented young defense certainly had something to do with it, it was the offense, and specifically the passing game that led the way. The Packers ranked 3rd in the league in yards per pass attempt, aided by another 1000 yard season by Donald Driver, and a breakout, 12 TD season from second year player Greg Jennings.

When the Cowboys got bumped from the NFC playoffs in the divsional round, the Packers found themselves with an NFC Championship game at Lambeau Field. They, of course, were expected to win. The game went to OT, where Favre threw an INT on the first drive, setting up a game winning field goal for the Giants.


You may have heard that Brett Favre retired this offseason, but now wants to come back. The latest is that the Packers are trying to trade him, probably to either the Jets or the Bucs, but since they haven't been able to so far he plans to report to Packers camp. I'm not going to get into why he retired when he didn't want to retire or who is right or wrong because this all so tiresome I'm ready to drink some Drano just so I don't have to listen to it all anymore.

All I know is the NFL is a cold, cold business, and I seem to remember Joe Montana finishing his career in a Chiefs uniform, and he won a hell of lot more Super Bowls than Favre has. What's keeping the Packers from releasing Favre and letting him go where he pleases is the coincidence that they play in a division where their 2 chief rivals, the Vikings and Bears, are in desperate need of a quarterback, and they want to make sure he doesn't end up in either of those places. At the same time, they want Aaron Rodgers to be their starting quarterback, and are trying to engineer a situation where Favre is safely packed off to a team that the Packers don't play twice a year. Most likely, that's what's going to happen, and when it does, Favre will almost certainly be going to a team with a lot fewer weapons than what he had in Green Bay last year, and he will struggle to come anywhere near the level of performance he reached in 2007.

Now, as for the rest of the team, Ryan Grant was a revelation at running back last season, seizing the starting job midway thru and averaging 5.1 yards a carry. Grant is now playing contract footsy with the team, which I'm sure is going to end up in him probably not endearing himself to the franchise that much, and setting him up to lose his job to Brandon Jackson, who was the starter at the beginning of last year but couldn't keep the job.
The receiving corps remains excellent, with Driver and Jennings and James Jones forming one of the leagues most formidable trios.

One area of concern is in the secondary. The defense actually took a step back last year, and part of the reason was that corners Charles Woodson and Al Harris were both another year older. The defense ranked 12th in the league in yards per pass attempt, which isn't horrible, but isn't going to win you a Super Bowl either. Having a pair of pass rushers like Aaron Kampman (12 sacks, 21 hurries), and Kabeer Gbaja Biamila (9 1/2 sacks) provides insurance for that secondary, but the loss of DT Corey Williams, who not only was the line's best run stopper, but also had 7 sacks from the tackle position (which is very good) is going to hurt.


If you have a burning need to feel bad for an NFL player, feel bad for Aaron Rodgers. He will be under an electron microscope all season. He's in a good situation though, and has all the tools around him to succeed, and I don't think the offense will fall off that much with him running it. For what it's worth, I'll be gentle with him, if only because I can't stand anymore Favre veneration. Let's call the Packers a playoff team.

A popular axiom amongst people who don't really understand today's game is that the formula for winning is "Run the ball and stop the run". Well, the Vikings ranked 1st in the league in yards per rushing attempt last year, and 2nd in the league in fewest yards allowed per rushing attempt. I mean, you can't do much better than that, right? So, if that theory is right, it should have been the Vikings going 16-0, and not the New England team that ranked 14th in Y/RA on offense, and 26th on defense.

But the Vikings didn't go 16-0, they went 8-8, and missed the playoffs, somehow. This despite having rookie Adrian Peterson set the world on fire, averaging 5.6 yards a carry en route to 1344 rushing yards and 12 TDs, and his complement, Chester Taylor, averaging 5.4 yards and finishing with 848 yards.

The Vikings failed because a. they couldn't stop the pass, and b. they couldn't throw the ball. They helped prove that in the 21st century, the NFL is a passing league.


Failing so badly in those 2 areas gave the Vikings the luxury of knowing what they needed to fix. To fix the pass defense, they made a huge trade for pass rusher Jared Allen, who led the league with 15 1/2 sacks with KC last year. The pass rush was anemic last year, so Allen should go a long way toward making it harder for teams to throw the ball deep on the Vikings. I'm going to go ahead and give them a thumbs up on fixing that pass defense.

As for their passing offense, Tarvaris Jackson is still the QB. Know this, time child, if the Vikings don't make the playoffs this year, it'll be Tarv that gets blamed, and probably rightly so. The Vikings believe in him. I don't really know why, but maybe they know more than me. I am usually right about QBs though. I cite David Carr as proof.

Jackson will have one more weapon at his disposal this year, and that's former Bears WR Bernard Berrian, who knows a thing or two about making an incompetent QB look better than he is, so he looks like an ideal fit.

The difference between this year's team, which some say is a Super Bowl contender, and last year's 8-8 squad is Jared Allen and Bernard Berrian. That's who the Vikings have entrusted with righting what was wrong with the team last year. They'll also need Tarvaris Jackson to make a great leap forward, which he might, or might not. Still, you don't need to be a great team to make the playoffs in the NFC, you need only be a good team, and the Vikings are that. They'll get to the postseason this year.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Nicky Goes Thru 2 A Days- Redskins/Eagles


This team went to the playoffs last year? Are you cereal? I don't remember THAT happening.

Oh wait. It's kind of coming back to me now. Their best player died, a sacrifice that the island demanded, then they lost the tribute game when Joe Gibbs got penalized for calling timeouts like he was Chris Webber or something.

Then their starting quarterback went down for the season in the game after that, and was replaced by a guy named Todd Collins, who I think was Boomer Esiason's roomate in college, and who hadn't seen action in a real game since 1991. He proceeded to play out of his mind for the last month of the season, and the Redskins won their last 4 regular season games and did, in fact, make the playoffs with a 9-7 record. Pretty standard stuff, really.

Now all the Redskins need to do is have all those things fall into place again this year. Preferably without anybody dying this time. Oh, and they'll need to do it with a new head coach, former Seahawks quarterback of the days of my youth Jim Zorn, who has not only never been a head coach at any level before, but he's never been a coordinator at any level either. That hire was kind of a head scratcher, no?

Campbell will be back at quarterback this year, with Collins going back into his cryogenic chamber, to be thawed out in 2037. Campbell will now be running the "West Coast" offense that Zorn is installing, replacing Al Saunders' playbook that was thicker than more incomprehensible than Thomas Pynchon's last novel. Campbell has a couple of guys to throw to who should fit in great in that offense in running back Clinton Portis, who is one of the better pass catching backs in the league, and tight end Chris Cooley.

The Skins also drafted a couple of big, possession type receivers in Devin Thomas and Malcolm Kelly, who seem ideally suited for a quick passing game. (Although I just read that Thomas was carted off the practice field today with a hamstring injury, so that probably made Dan Snyder's afternoon.)

Of course, the move we've been hearing the most about this week is the acquisition of pass rusher Jason Taylor from the Dolphins. Taylor's had double digit sack totals 3 years in a row, so even though he's 33, and seemingly more interested in post-football endeavours than sacking quarterbacks at this point, he still should be a great addition to the defense. And it's not like the defense wasn't good without him. They were top 10 in giving up the fewest yards per rush attempt and pass attempt.

Because outside of Portis, they lack high profile skill position players, this is a team that flies under the radar nationally. That will probably change a little with the addition of Taylor, who became a household name thanks to Dancing With the Stars. If the defense plays up to last year's level, they should be in the playoff picture again this year, meaning they should win 8 or 9 games. But the defense is just pretty good, not great, and not good enough to carry a team that is going to be learning a new offense again and relying on some unproven commodities at quarterback and wide receiver back into the playoffs.


It looks like the Eagles have chosen the gradual slide to irrelevance over the spectacular flaming crash into oblivion as the script for the end of the Andy Reid-Donovan McNabb era. I say that because last year's campaign may as well not have happened. The Eagles muddled thru the first 10 games of the season in "win one then lose one" mode, then bottomed out with 3 losses in a row, before rallying to win the final 3 games once nothing meant anything anymore.

The most notable thing that happened with the Eagles last year was running back Brian Westbrook becoming a megastar. He ran for over 1300 yards, and had over 700 yards receiving, and was, for one year, the most devastating offensive player in the game not wearing a New England Patriots jersey. Given the fact that in the NFL running backs have a shelf life roughly the same length as American Idol runner ups do, and the durability issues Westbrook has had his entire career, I'm tempted to say that is the best we are ever going to see out of him.

The trophy for signing the highest profile free agent to change teams goes to the Eagles this year. They landed former New England corner Asante Samuel, who was a first-team All Pro last year. He'll help strengthen a defense that was already pretty good, ranking in the top 10 in the league in both points and yards allowed in 07.

Much like the Redskins though, this is just a team that has a severe shortage of weapons on offense. Outside of Westbrook, there's nobody on the offense who scares anyone. Kevin Curtis and Reggie Brown return as the starting wideouts, so yeah that's kind of blah. DeSean Jackson from Cal was drafted to be a fast guy, but I'll believe he's worth anything in the NFL when I see it. Other than that there's pretty much nothing. If you stop Westbrook, you're in pretty good shape against the Eagles.

McNabb is 31 years old and probably has been as good as he's ever going to get. If the team isn't in playoff contention, you will see a lot of Kevin Kolb this year, and you'll see McNabb somewhere else next year.

With Westbrook at the absolute top of his game, this was an 8-8 team last year. They didn't do anything to improve the offense, and Samuel was a nice addition, but I just have a difficult time getting my nipples all hard over a corner. Chances are Westbrook will not be what he was last year for whatever variety of reasons, but mainly just because that's what usually happens with running backs. McNabb is kind of a vag so I don't see him carrying the team on his shoulders either, so the Eagles will have a hard time matching the 8 wins they put up in 07.

Tomorrow...the Packers and Vikings. Until then, the strangest things from last nights Lost-a-thon, a giant statue of a foot, with 4 toes.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Nicky Goes Thru 2 A Days- Giants/Cowboys

Hello friends. I’m back! I’ve been on a bit of a sabbatical since the end of Euro 08. What have I been up to? Mostly getting caught up on “Lost” on DVD. I watched the pilot online about a month ago, and then went out and bought the 3 seasons that they have on DVD. So never mind that my fiancĂ©e and I are getting married exactly one month from today, we are putting in a good 3 to 4 hours a night watching Lost. It’s the summer of Lost. I've been pushing a button every 108 minutes just to make sure the world doesn't end. The button is in my pants.

Anywho, NFL training camp starts TODAY. At least it does for my Bears. So that means it is time for me to lug my TV and my mattress up the dorm steps and report to camp as well.

In the next couple of weeks or so, I go thru 2 a days. Meaning, of course, I pontificate on 2 teams a day. I know other media outlets do this. Every media outlet. Sorry, I’m getting married in a month and that’s the best you get out of a guy who is looking more and more like an Iraqi grandfather with each passing day.

That should take us up to the start of the preseason I think. And, as an added bonus, I won’t talk about Brett Favre. At all. I promise.

Oh Lord, that is in poor taste.

Today, we start with the Super Bowl Champs, and their arch-nemesis in the NFC East.


Looking Back

All the Giants did last year was win 3 playoff games on the road, then pull off the biggest upset in NFL history (with the possible exception of Joe “I Want To Kiss You” Namath’s Jets winning one for the AFL against the Colts in Super Bowl 3…possible…exception) in defeating the 18-0 Patriots to win the Super Bowl.

How did they do it? You obviously have to give credit to the much-maligned Eli Manning, who negated what the Patriots thought was the game winning drive by leading the Giants on the real game winning drive, the football equivalent of kicking out at 2 ½ after being speared and jackhammered by Goldberg.

But, more so than any team in recent memory, these Giants proved that it really is what’s up front that counts. The defensive line boasted a 3 headed pass rushing monster of Osi Umenyiora, Michael Strahan, and Justin Tuck, who combined for 32 regular season sacks, and the offensive line made 3 guys who had never before been feature backs (Brandon Jacobs, Derrick Ward, Ahmad Bradshaw) all look like more than able replacements for Tiki Barber at different points of the season.

Looking Ahead

You would think that Eli answered any and all questions about his ability by winning the Super Bowl. Well, nobody can take that away from him, but I’m also going to point out that he threw only 3 more TDs than INTs last year, and that the Giants ranked 22nd in yards per pass attempt.

The good news for the Giants is, that outstanding offensive line makes everyone that offense, including Eli, better, and it remains intact for this season. They also still have a number of options they can go to in the running game to control the clock and wear out the opposing defense. They lost Jeremy Shockey after trading him to the Saints this week, but, well, who cares.

On defense, Strahan has retired, but that merely downgrades the pass rush from insane to merely outstanding. Umenyiora and Tuck will still pressure the QB, which means that teams like the Cowboys who like to throw deep to home run hitting receivers won’t have time to do so against the Giants.


The Giants won’t be as good as they were in last year’s playoffs, because, in all honesty, that would be impossible. I looked up “lightning in a bottle” in the dictionary and I found a picture of David Tyree balancing a football on top of his head. They are a rock solid team though, and it’s hard to picture any scenario that doesn’t involve a rash of broken legs on the offensive and defensive lines, or the Giants having to actually put new backup QB David Carr on the field, that doesn’t see them making the playoffs.


Looking Back

On Thanksgiving Day, the Cowboys dismantled what looked like their only real competition for the NFC title, the Green Bay Packers, to move to 11-1.

Then came the Jessica Simpson Game, a 10-6 home loss to the Eagles which precipitated Tony Romo’s season ending meltdown, which saw him throw 6 INTs against 2 TDs in his last 4 games. The Cowboys scored a grand total of 3 TDs in those games, lost 3 of them, and saw their playoff stay end after one game for the second year in a row, this time losing at home 21-17 to a Giants team that they put up 76 points on in their 2 earlier meetings.

Looking Ahead

There’s an interesting chicken or egg question as to why the offense went south at the end of the year. Did T.O. disappear (16 catches for 173 yards in his final 4 games, including 4 catches for 49 yards in the playoff loss) because Romo has his head up his ass? Or did Romo look suddenly worse than ordinary because T.O. disappeared?

My guess is that Romo needs T.O. to be T.O. in order to look like an All-Pro quarterback. Without T.O., Romo, in my opinion, is Rex Grossman. T.O. is 34, which certainly isn’t too old for a wide receiver to be at the top of his game, but it isn’t that young either. I’m sure he’ll be putting up huge numbers at the start of the year again, but will he once again fade as the season wears on? The Cowboys better hope not, because they aren’t getting to the Super Bowl without him dominating in the playoffs.

A lot has been made of Marion Barber being made THE feature back, but in reality he was the feature back last year too, and earned it by averaging 4.8 yards a carry. The only real change in the running game is swapping out one Jones (Julius), for another (rookie Felix). Felix Jones certainly looks like an upgrade with big play potential, so the Cowboys running game may be just a bit more dangerous than it was last year.

The defense, which was great against the pass and solid against the run last year, made a nice upgrade when it added former Dolphins LB Zach Thomas. Dallas is the perfect spot for him, as he can play inside in a 3-4 alignment, which, as the Patriots have shown, is an ideal way for an aging linebacker to end his career in a productive way. The Cowboys have 2 of the best pass rushers in the game in DeMarcus Ware (14 sacks in 07) and Greg Ellis (12 ½) sacks.

Finally, the Cowboys hope they’ve added their own version of Devin Hester by picking up The (Make It) Rain Man, Adam nee Pac Man Jones. Let me go on the record as saying this was a good pickup, and he’ll give the team a big boost in the return game. Sure, he’s a fucked up dude, but there’s lots of fucked up dudes in the NFL, and as long as he can keep himself from being suspended, he’ll contribute big time.


As long as T.O. is healthy, there is no way this team is not a playoff team. If he goes down, things could get a little interesting, as there is absolutely no depth at receiver behind him. But, just as you can’t assume the double play, you can’t assume injury either. The Cowboys will be formidable again, and will be one of the 6 playoff teams in the NFC.

Okay that's it for today. I'll check in tomorrow with a bunch of crap on the Eagles and their vomiting sissy quarterback, and the Redskins and their new tap-dancing pass rusher.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Craplacticos: Rivalry, Countries

Episode 4

Countries: USA vs. Mexico

Monday, July 14, 2008

Craplacticos: Rivalry, Coaches

Episode 3
Owners: Mourinho vs. Capello

Monday, July 7, 2008

Craplacticos: Rivalry 2

Episode 2
Owners: Glazer vs. Hicks