Thursday, February 26, 2009

Still More Sweet 16

Well, we had our big showdown between Oli and Patrick yesterday..and the result was...

Oh ho ho. Real loses for the first time in 2009, and of course it's the first match they play that matters at all. Liverpool goes to the Bernabeu and wins on a header from Yossi Benayoun. Real looks like they are going to be cashiered in the round of 16 for the second year in a row. Oh well, at least this time they are losing to someone better than AS Roma. And at least they didn't just get bounced from the UEFA Cup like AC Milan did today. Sheesh. Is Beckham SURE he wants to stay there? At least in MLS nobody cares that his team sucks.

So let's recap La Liga's performance so far in this Round of 16. They've got 4 teams in there (Villarreal, Atletico, Real, and Barca), and they combine for 3 points out of a possible 12. That's brutal. Seriously, every league except the English Premier League is horrible and a colossal waste of money and and fossil fuels. The Japanese League is closer to Major League Baseball than any other European league is to the Premiership.

Bayern pretty much made a scheisse video all over the face of Portugese football. They should just cancel the rest of their season. It's been a pretty lackluster 400 or so years for Portugal and this ain't helping. Luca Toni has 2 goals as does Franck Ribery. Remember, this team is in 4th place in Germany, behind a team that was in its second division last year.

The re-animated zombie corpse of Didier Drogba scored in the 12th minute, and that's all Chelsea needed to put themselves up by a goal heading to Torino. He should be really happy right now, he was THIS close to going back to Olympique Marseille and playing 0-0 draws in a brutal league nobody who doesn't own a beret cares about for the rest of his life. This is better than that.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

More Sweet 16 Sweetness

I need to stop calling myself "Mr. Football" and maybe start calling myself "Mr. Futbol". I called 3 of the 4 matches yesterday, the only one I missed being Lyon getting a draw against Barcelona. That's pretty damn impressive given that in soccer there are 3 possible outcomes to choose instead of 2. Oh wait you can tie in football too? That's not what Donovan McNabb told me.

A-Madrid got a valiant goalkeeping effort from Leo Franco, and goals from Maxi Rodriguez and Diego Forlan to take a 2-1 lead. But Porto got an equaliser in the 72nd minute, from Lisandro Lopez, his second goal of the match, to go into their home leg of this matchup even and with 2 away goals in hand (if the aggregate is tied after 2 matches, the first tie breaker is who has the most away goals, so now you know).

The perennial French champs fought gamely, but Thierry Henry got a huge goal in the 67th minute to give Barca a draw, leaving Lyon with the huge task of probably having to win their road leg of this matchup in order to advance. Not an impressive performance by Barca, but they still are in pretty good shape to advance to the quarters.

Well, Arsenal finally scored. Although it took a PK to do it, and they probably would feel a lot safer in this tournament if they scored more than once. But still, being up 1-0 going on the road is better than a kick in the balls I guess. This matchup is still up for grabs.

United had a lot of scoring chances in this one, while Inter didn't have a single shot on goal. This one comes back to Old Trafford now, where Sir Alex will have to get his second win in 14 square offs with Jose Mourinho in order for the Champs to advance.


Juve's claim to fame in this tournament so far has been using Real Madrid as a punching bag in group play, beating them twice. Other than that they just kind of plod along as the second best team in Italy. Yawwn. Chelsea has shown some spark since Scolari got canned, as they have exhumed Didier Drogba and have started playing a dual striker offense at times with him and Anelka. If a Premiership team is playing at home against a team from any other league, I don't see how you don't take the Prem team. The Prem is the Big East. Even though Arsenal sucks.

If this were an NFL game this would be the one that Matt Vasgerjian and would be doing. Panathinaikos won at Inter in the group stage, and won that group too, so it isn't incomprehensible that the Greek side could advance. Villarreal is just a meh team this year that is only here because they played in a group that had one team from Denmark and one from Scotland. So come on. I think this is one of those where the road team draws today and then comes home to win it in the second leg. Neither of these teams have a chance in hell of getting past the quarters though, so whatever.

Who's ready for some hot Lisbon action??? Yeah!! The German league sucks all kinds of weiner schnitzel this year and Bayern is behind such powerhouses as TSG Hoffenheim and Hertha Berlin in that league. I think Lisbon wins this home matchup and goes on to advance to the quarters. Yay for them. This is another weirdo matchup where you wonder why these teams are playing each other and what exactly they are playing for.

Otherwise known as the Patrick/Oli Death Match. Benitez is said to be on the hot seat now at Liverpool, and his fate there may hinge on him winning this matchup. They've got their captain Steven Gerrard back for this one for the first time in a while, as he's been out with a hamstring injury. Real's been killing it lately, and has a winning streak in La Liga that has gone on for over two months. Still, until someone from outside the Premiership beats somebody in the Premiership, I can't pick a Spanish team against an English team. Liverpool draws today and wins it in the second leg. Patrick says 10-0 Real though.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Nicky's Champions League Sweet 16 Sweetness

Sorry I've been gone for a while. There really is just nothing to write about with the January transfer window closed and the NFL busy conducting its slave combine. But now that's changed..because this week, in fact, on this very day, the Champions League Round of 16 begins! Me so hawny!

Patrick has already given his picks, so here are mine for today's matchups. along with some pithy analysis.

Everytime I read "FC Porto" I think of "Vince Clorto, Keymaster of Gozer". They are the current leaders of the Portugese league, which, before you laugh, has produced as many Sweet 16 teams (2, Sporting Lisbon being the other) than either the German, French, and Dutch leagues combined. What you should know about Porto is that their leading goal scorer goes by one name, and that name is "Hulk". His name is Hulk but he's listed at 150 lbs. As for Atletico, they have sucked the big one in La Liga this year, currently residing in 7th place. They obviously have done OK in the Champions League though, and they tied Liverpool twice in group play. They've never lost at home to a Portugese club. I think they will keep that intact with a draw today, then Porto will finish them off in the second leg.

Lyon has reached this round thanks mostly to being placed in the "Group of Moderate Discomfort" in the previous stage, a group that included 2 clubs, Fiorentina and Romania's Steaua Bucharest, that went the entire group stage without winning a match. The competition gets just a wee bit tougher today, as in facing THE BEST TEAM IN THE WORLD, Barcelona. I say they are the best team in the world because that's what Lyon's coach, Claude Puel has recently called them. Not that I don't agree with that. Barca's not at their top form right now, as evidenced by a loss to lowly Barcelona rivals Espanyol last weekend, but they shouldn't have too much if any trouble with Lyon. They'll win on the road today and win big in the home leg to advance to the quarters.

The Gunners have been held without a goal in four of their last six matches. They went out and got Russian Euro 08 hero Andrei Arshavin, and he led them to a 0-0 draw at home against Sunderland. Awesome. In fairness, they've got Adebayor and Fabregas on their injury list right now, so that probably makes a big difference. Arsenal is in 5th place in the Prem right now, so they are in real danger of not being invited back to this shindig next year. Still, I think they are good enough to win a home match against the 6th place team in Serie A, and beat them pretty easily. A note of caution though, the last time Roma played a Premiership team was in the group stage, and they beat Chelsea 3-1. So if Arsenal does not give themselves some cushion today, they may be in trouble in the second leg.

And here would be your money matchup. The first place team in Italy against the first place team in England. Inter's peaking right now, having beaten a then-surging AC Milan club a couple of weeks ago. The Nerazzuri (Black N Blue) did not do so hot in the group stage though, managing just a 2-2-2 record and finishing behind Greek side Panathinaikos to earn this plum assignment against the defending European Champs. Man U has a European record 20 match unbeaten streak in Euro play going right now, and I don't think it's going to end today. I think they earn a draw at Milan today, then finish the job at home in the second leg.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Champions League Quick Preview

Atletico Madrid vs. Porto FC - Atletico just went through a coaching change because they've been sucking. The change didn't help because they lost their next match with their new coach, 0-1. Porto has experience and the advantage of having their home leg second. I'm thinking 0-0 first leg.

Lyon vs. Barcelona - If you asked me two weeks ago, I would say Barcelona was the favorites. Lyon got Barcelona at home and in the worst form of the year, which isn't THAT bad, but now is the time to do something. This match will have goals. 2-1 Barcelona for the first leg.

Arsenal vs. Roma - Both teams have been sucking lately, but Arsenal has been sucking because Cesc Fabregas, Theo Walcott, Tomas Rosicky, Eduardo, Mikael Silvestre, and Emmanuel Adebayor are all injured. Yeah, 1-0 Roma.

Inter Milan vs. Manchester United - Manchester United is probably now the favorite with their recent form, but if there was a team to beat them, it is a Mourinho-led Inter Milan. Mourinho is probably best suited to face Man U because he employs super d counter tactics that really bothers Man U teams. Inter is in pretty good form as well. This is #1 vs. #1. If there are a lot of goals, Man U wins; if it's going to be 1-0, Inter will do this. I'm thinking 0-0 because Mourinho is just that messed up.

Chelsea vs. Juventus - As a Chelsea guy, this is probably one of the teams I didn't want to play. Momo Sissoko claims that Chelsea striker Nicolas Anelka told him that Chelsea are scared of Juventus. Fuck you, Sissoko. Liverpool didn't want you. That makes you ugly. The first leg is in Stamford Bridge, and Chelsea has been sucking at home. And apparently Chelsea is scared. 2-0 Juventus.

Real Madrid vs. Liverpool - Sir Fergie thinks Real Madrid are too slow. Yeah, so slow they scored 4-0 and 6-1 last two matches. Liverpool has been sucking but they claim their best player Gerrard is healthy again. No. Oli told Patrick N that Liverpool are scared of Real Madrid. AaaAHAHHAahAHHahAHHAHAH 10-0 Real Madrid.

Sporting vs. Bayern Munich - Uhhh, yeah. Sporting. Yeah. 3-0 Bayern.

Villarreal vs. Panathinaikos - Imma be honest: Who?

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Chelsea needs this guy now

Ladies and gentlemen, 6-year-old Madin Mohammed.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Soccer stuff and what I've been up to

MLS vs. AC Milan

The MLS imposed a deadline for AC Milan getting the deal done with the Galaxy. This deadline has come and passed and now the MLS is moving on. Don't be fooled by what AC Milan thinks is "just a tactic" by the MLS to raise the price in negotiations. The MLS needed to set a date because they base their whole marketing around Beckham. With a month to go before the season starts, ticket sales need to be established (including presale), events need to be set, and jerseys need to be ready for sponsors. If I'm Herbalife, I'd want to know if Becks is coming back for sure, too.

AC Milan is really coming off as arrogant assholes like Ramon Calderon's techniques he used when he was trying to get Cristiano Ronaldo for Real Madrid. If Beckham is smart, he'd just pay the 10 million the MLS are asking for and move now instead of holding the MLS hostage.

Inter Milan vs. AC Milan

I am not a fan of Italian soccer. It's usually slow, boring, all d, and full of people obviously flopping. That said, this match was AWESOME. Inter Milan should have scored 5 goals or more, but they just kept missing, and this almost bit them in the ass later when Pato and Ronaldinho turned on the juice at the end. AC Milan lost 2-1 and Beckham looked like he got hurt. If Beckham is hurt seriously from this match, AC Milan doesn't have to pay shit and MLS gets no sales money because Becks is sitting on the bench. Damn.

What is Patrick N up to lately?

I've told you guys my favorite fighter is Lyoto Machida. His style is hilarious because he fights all boring and doesn't care about the crowd booing because he hasn't lost one round in the UFC. Check out and see if you recognize the style of your favorite sports comedian anywhere on there.


Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Monday, February 9, 2009

1. It's looking like we've got ourselves a 2 horse race down the stretch for the Premiership title. Man U and Liverpool both eked out 1 goal wins this weekend. First place United got a 1-0 win at West Ham thanks to a goal from Ryan Giggs. Liverpool kept themselves within striking distance, 2 points off the lead, by coming off the canvas to get goals from Dirk Kuyt and Fernando Torres to get a 3-2 win at Portsmouth, who celebrated by firing their manager, Tony Adams. Pompey will now be on their 3rd manager of the year as Adams took over in October for Harry Redknapp, who bolted for Tottenham early in the season.

Meanwhile, 4th place Chelsea could manage only a 0-0 draw at home against Hull City. Chelsea is now 7 points back of Man U, and the Devils have a match in hand. I'm going to go ahead and say their goose is cooked. Aston Villa remains an intriguing wildcard, as they moved into sole possession of 3rd place with a 2-0 win at Blackburn. They are only 5 points back, but you don't really think someone outside of the rotating cast of big 4 clubs can win the Premiership, do you??

2. The AC Milan Scudetto Express got derailed this weekend when the soon to be new permanent club of David Beckham could manage only a 1-1 draw at home against last place Reggina. Milan falls 8 points behind 1st place Inter, and they pretty much need a win in the Milan derby this weekend to stay in contention. Juventus leapfrogged over Milan into second place with a 2-1 win at Catatonia...I mean Catania.

3. OH SHIT....this just in....Chelsea has canned manager Luiz Felipe Scolari!!! Scolari came to Chelsea this past summer after leading Portugal's national team since 2003. Chelsea, as I mentioned earlier, is in 4th place and is behind Aston Villa who is not in the Club. So this isn't totally unexpected but still, very very newsworthy. Let's go to our special correspondent to get his take on this.

9 Man City 1, 19 Boro 0
11 Sunderland 2, 17 Stoke 0
18 Rovers 0, 3 Villa 2
20 West Brom 2, 13 Newcastle 3
4 Chelsea 0, 12 Hull 0
6 Everton 3, 14 Bolton 0
7 Wigan 0, 10 Fulham 0
16 Portsmouth 2, 2 Liverpool 3
15 Tottenham 0, 5 Arsenal 0
8 West Ham 0, 1 Man U 1

2 Real Madrid 1, 11 Racing 0
3 Sevilla 1, 14 Real Betis 2
13 Getafe 1, 19 Espanyol 1
20 Mallorca 1, 8 Deportivo 1
7 Malaga 3, 15 Almeria 2
5 Villarreal 2, 18 Numancia 1
1 Barcelona 3, 12 Sporting Gijon 1
9 Valladolid 2, 10 Athletic Bilbao 1
17 Osasuna 1, 4 Valencia 0
16 Recreativo 0, 6 Atletico 3

17 Lecce 0, 1 Inter 3
3 AC Milan 1, 20 Reggina 1
9 Cagliari 0, 10 Atalanta 1
14 Catania 1, 2 Juventus 2
12 Udinese 1, 16 Bologna 0
4 Fiorentina 1, 11 Lazio 0
18 Torino 1, 19 Chievo 1
15 Sampdoria 2, 13 Siena 2
6 AS Roma 3, 5 Genoa 0
7 Palermo 2, 8 Napoli 1

6 Tecos 2, 2 Monterrey 3
3 San Luis 2, 6 Atlas 1
1 Chivas 1, 4 Necaxa 1
4 Cruz Azul 1, 5 Tigres 1
4 Atlante 0, 1 Jaguares 2
3 Pumas 0, 2 Morelia 1
3 Indios 0, 6 Santos 0
5 Puebla 0, 2 Toluca 2
5 America 1, 1 Pachuca 3

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Pro Bowl Recap

Larry Fitzgerald scored two more touchdowns just to remind everyone who their lord and savior is.

The NFC won 30-21.

And now...Quatto sings "Chocolate Rain"

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Patrick on Beckham

Patrick posted this in the comments section but I wanted to put on the main page b/c its so damn good..

Here ya go..

Beckham pretty much reveals the problem with the DP rule in that if you lose the DP player you built your team around, you're pretty much screwed. And with AC Milan screwing the Galaxy over on Becks and Bayern screwing over THEIR loan agreement on Donovan (who was being paid DP money but not counted because he was grandfathered in), Galaxy loses two DP level players and are stuck with draft prospects and players that were meant to fill holes with the limited cap space they got. Bruce Arena says he has a back up, but he's got SHIT.

Galaxy changed their whole uniform to fit Beckham's image, raised tix to the ROOF and now they are stuck with crap. Fans are already asking for their money back or season tickets are super reduced prices and with the recession, MLS really can't afford to lose their cash cow (since the MLS is a socialist system).

Basically, unless Beckham gives up 16.4 million, the MLS and Galaxy will be out of business in 2 years unless Ronaldinho or someone like him takes Beckham's place.

Lesson: Never loan out to big clubs because they don't respect you anyway.

Friday, February 6, 2009

1. Liverpool is gone from the FA Cup. Liverpool's other team, Everton, knocked them out with a 1-0 victory thanks to a goal from 19 year old in the 118th minute of the match. Liverpool had been down to 10 men for some time after Lucas (yup, just Lucas) got sent off in the 79th minute. Liverpool also was without their captain, Steven Gerrard, for much of the match after he left with a hamstring injury. Up until last week, Robbie Keane would have taken his place in such a situation. However, Robbie Keane is back with Tottenham now, so that option wasn't there.

So by my count, the teams left in the FA Cup are these 17, the ones not in the Premiership are in bold, because they are so plucky:

Derby County
Aston Villa
Swansea City
Coventry City
Sheffield United
West Ham
Man U
Cardiff City

2. Spain's domestic tournament is a little farther along. The Copa del Rey is in the semifinals, and it looks like Barcelona will be advancing to the finals as they attempt to win this tournament for the first time since 1998. They beat Mallorca 2-0 in the first leg of their semis matchup. Thierry Henry scored for Barca in that match but despite that comes word that he is going to be sold back to a Premiership team this summer. Barca paid Arsenal 16M pounds for him in 2007, and he's been a pretty good investment, scoring 24 goals in 48 matches and being a contributing member of what I think is the best team in the world right now. Expect Man City to offer him most of Scotland to come play for them next season.

3. David Beckham has let it be known he wants to stay with AC Milan for good, meaning he won't be willingly coming back to MLS. He has said that he has "rediscovered himself as a football player" in his short time with Milan. The best thing about this story is a raging debate on ESPN's soccernet about whether America is good or bad, with the best post being,

"Most american sports, with the exception of Basketball are tailored for fat people. Baseball and football, are sports where FAT people can actually play because you dont have to run that much"

I guess they've got us there.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Super Bowl Requiem

Last weekend the Steelers became the new NFL Champs by giving the Arizona Cardinals their 8th loss of the season..yaaaaaay.

Seriously, anybody who says this was the Greatest Super Bowl ever is either a Steelers fan or has the memory of a goldfish. The greatest SB ever was the one last year. It was pretty much the same ending as this year's if you can remember back that far. The Patriots scored and it looked like it was over, then the Giants came back and scored, then the Patriots got the ball one last time and couldn't make magic happen in the last minute.

It was the same thing this year. The Cardinals finally stopped getting personal fouls called on them long enough to actually give their offense the ball, and finally said oh the hell with this Anquan Boldin bullshit, we're throwing the ball to that dreadlocked freakazoid if youve got 5 guys on him..try and stop him. Once they made up their minds to do that, it was comeback time. A 20-7 deficit quickly became a 23-20 Cards lead, capped off by a really picturesque play where Fitzgerald caught a pass over the middle and just left everyone in the dust to break a long TD.

That's where the Steeler fan whose house I was at started throwing stuff and yelling F-bombs with 2 year olds around, and I'm like, "Dude it's not over yet, there's plenty of time left, this is the Cardinals, they gave up 426 points this year...I think the Steelers can at least manage a field goal out of their 2 minute drill." So, predictably, the Steelers went right down the field and capped off the drive with a beautiful catch by San Antonio Holmes in the corner of the end zone to give them the lead.

It was a great catch, although the cover of the new SI clearly shows that he only got one foot on the ground in the end zone:

Thats one toe on the ground and the other foot tucked behind it. Not two feet in.

Then there's the Kurt Warner fumble that ended the game. The fumble that ended the Super Bowl that I guess they said they reviewed only they didn't have the ref announce the play was under review or announce that the ruling on the field stood. Shit, it's only the Super Bowl, could they at least rubber stamp that with some due process? I mean, they already flagged Arizona for 106 yards in penalties, including 3 personal fouls on one drive. That's almost twice what the Steelers managed to stumble for in rushing yards. I'm not going to sit here and say "Oh the game is fixed", but my God, this is two Super Bowls in the last 4 years I have seen the Steelers barely beat a mediocre team and get a lot of help from the refs. So I don't know what's up with that.

So, no, this was not the Greatest Super Bowl ever, and if it wasn't for the last 5 minutes it would have been a very bad Super Bowl. The Steelers made it look like a monumental task to beat a team that went 9-7 this year and outscored its opposition by a grand total of 1 point in the regular season.

But, they did win the Super Bowl, for the second time in 4 years. They are the Champions of an NFL season that will probably best be remembered for having a team that went 0-16, a team that went 1-15 in 2007 making the playoffs in 2008, and an NFC Champion that almost gave up more points than they scored during the regular season.

It was a really, really bad NFL season. The "On any given Sunday.." parity trap has given us a league that is worse than mediocre. There is such a thing as too much competitive balance.

Of course, this was the most watched Super Bowl ever, with a record in advertising fees paid even though we are in the throes of economic meltdown. So what do I know.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

1. It looked for a while like the deal was off, but it's confirmed that Russian star Andrei Arshavin is headed to Arsenal. Arshavin had some big goals for Russia in Euro 08, but had only 6 goals in 27 matches for Zenit St. Petersburg this season. Arsenal is in 5th place in the Prem, 5 points out of a qualifying spot in the Champions League.

2. If you haven't seen the Lampard red card tackle yet, here it is.

What a load of boolcrap. Notice how Lampard actually gets to the ball well before the guy he is tackling does. I dont know wtf Moby was thinking giving him a red card here. Chelsea can take some solace though, in the fact that he won't be getting a 3 match suspension, as the appeal to revoke this ridiculous call has been upheld.

3. That red card looks even more ridiculous when you consider that Jose Boswinga didn't even get a FOUL called on him for this play later in the match:

Monday, February 2, 2009

Super Bowl, Chelsea Experience, UFC Hax

Alright, many of you are going to be pretty pissed off with my analysis because you're a pussy. At least I don't piss on your back and tell you it's rain.

UFC 94

The judging was much better than in Ireland. Quick thoughts: I told you Machida was the bomb. He's a career killer though so you can't have him go for the title. UFC President Dana White is pretty smart. Just know, Machida has not lost a round in the UFC and has the least hits inflicted on him than any other UFC fighter.

BJ Penn got his ASS BEAT DOWN by GSP. I'm a big fan of the rubber guard, which BJ uses. If you don't know, go on youtube and check it out. Basically in the rubber guard you hold your opposite leg while in the conventional guard so a ground-n-pound guy can't just sit in your guard and smash your face. GSP explained that his strategy was to wrestle BJ early so he'd have no punching power and then stand up later. The strategy worked, but something weird happened during the fight. Every time BJ applied the rubber guard, it slipped off. I just though BJ was tired, but BJ's camp is filing a formal complain to the Nevada Athletic Commission that GSP put Vaseline on his back between rounds. OOPS. Fast forward this video to 9:30

You see UFC President Dana White saying to Rashad Evans (from the same camp as GSP) that GSP was in trouble because he got caught putting Vaseline rubbed on his back.

"George is in trouble too...George is in trouble by the Commission. The corner got caught rubbing vaseline all over his back... why would you fucking do that...?"

One thing about White, he cares about the sport a lot. He once kicked off two dipshits on the Ultimate Fighter show for fighting "like street thugs" because they were ruining the professional fighter image he's worked so hard to get for the UFC fighters. White will support BJ's claim to 1) keep the sport clean and 2) get another rematch. Take the money; put it in his pocket.

Alright, enough non-football.

Liverpool vs. Chelsea

Nick said the red card on Lampard was bullshit. Well, funny thing. I was watching the game with my newly befriended Chelsea fan friends of about 40 strong in the bar. There were about 10 Liverpool fans in there. Chelsea fans were in full song and shit, so it was fun. I go to the restroom, come back, and WHAT THE FUCK LAMPARD GOT SENT OFF. I got to see the replay and Lampard did come in stud first, but got all ball and the player he tackled actually kicked Lampard. Ha?

To be fair, Chelsea Coach Scolari said Chelsea back Bosingwa should have gotten sent off, so he agreed it would have evened out. Chelsea really played like shit too, and Liverpool honestly was the more deserving side. I know this is a bad season for Chelsea but I hope Chelsea fans don't act all stupid and want to get rid of Scolari. I still like him.

But the fun wasn't in all this. The fun was the songs. When Liverpool scored, the ten Liverpool fans cheered and jeered us. ALL FUCKING 40 OF US turned to them, stared at them, and sung this (to the tune of the Addams Family theme):

You like to fuck each other
Your sister is your mother
Your father fucked your sister
The Scouser family
da da da dum *clap* *clap*

After 3 rounds of this, Liverpool fans stopped jeering. Then when the other goal scored, Liverpool fans cheered again, but didn't jeer because they learned what happens. So we instead sung this song:

The wheels on the house go round and round, round and round, round and round
The wheels on the house go round and round, all the Scouser day.

It's pretty cool to lose and still feel like you won. Oli, your team deserved the win. Eat shit.

Super Bowl

Everyone and their mom LOVED Super Bowl XLIII with many saying it was the greatest Superbowl ever. Hey, fuck you dipshit. I think I am the ONLY FUCKING ONE to notice how shitty the refereeing was on the Cardinals. It was like a bukake of yellow flags. It seemed like every time the Card D stopped the Steelers, a Card barely touches Rothlesbitch right after he throws the ball and gets a roughing the passer call. Meanwhile, Harrison and Ward throw punches at players and don't get ejected. Even Mr. Obvious John Madden said Harrison should be ejected.

I thought the Cards should have won easily, but they didn't want Fitzgerald to get MVP and decided to pass to Bitchtit Boldin and Overthehill James. Then in the fourth they just passed to Fitz in triple coverage and he scores two touchdowns in 5 minutes. Fuck you, Warner.

So to all those who thought this was the BEST SUPER BOWL EVER (c), go watch Super Bowl XL because that was the BEST SUPER BOWL EVER (c) too.

You put your Steelers in, you put your Steelers out
You put your Steelers in, and you shake it all about
Rosthlesberger's on a motorcycle riding out
Landing to the pavement on his snout!

Fuck you.

3 Points- Even More Referee Hijinks Than The Super Bowl

1. If you're a football/futbol fan, the Super Bowl wasn't the only reason to be excited yesterday. As an opening act, you had the Premiership's second and third place sides, Liverpool and Chelsea squaring off. Just like the Super Bowl, officiating played a huge role (more on that in my Super Bowl 8 In the Box which will be up later this week). About 3/4 through the match, Chelsea's Frank Lampard got a bullshit red card for a challenge that was pretty much all ball. Chelsea hung in there for a while down a man, but in the final minutes Liverpool got a goal on a header from Fernando Torres to go up 1-0, then Torres scored again to make it 2-0 Liverpool. Adding to the fact that they may have lost the match and any chance at catching Man U because of that, Lampard now faces a 3 match ban that Chelsea is going to have to appeal.

2. The man who for 6 seasons scored double digit goals for Tottenham is heading back to Spurs after a six month sojourn with Liverpool. Robbie Keane, Ireland's captain, who had much difficulty cracking Rafael Benitez' lineup this year, heads back as Harry Redknapp continues the process of getting Tottenham's band back together in an effort to avoid relegation. Former Spurs scorer Jermain Defoe returned after a similarly abbreviated stint at Portsmouth.

3. Real Madrid got their sixth straight victory this weekend, 2-1 over Numancia. Still not good enough for "Honorary President" Alfredo di Stefano (pictured above) who says they "lack sparkle". You know who can help them with that right?

Other big matches this weekend-

- The Prem's 4th and 5th place teams, Villa and Arsenal, both stumbled to scoreless draws at home, missing an opportunity to pick up 3 points on Chelsea. Arsenal's zip zip against West Ham is particularly painful, because they are 5 points out of a Champions League berth right now.

- Barca continues to roll, getting a pair of goals from Lionel Messi to come from behind for a 2-1 victory at Racing. Barca got a pair of guys ejected in the last 2 minutes of the match.

- With the Kaka saga behind them, AC Milan is on a roll and Inter should start being nervous. While the Serie A leaders struggled to a 1-1 draw at home against 18th place Torino, Milan pasted Lazio in Rome 3-0. AC passed Juventus, who lost at home to Cagliari 3-2, and is now just 6 points out of first place.

- It's still really early in the Mexican season, but we had a big match this weekend as defending champs Toluca beat Pumas 1-0. Patrick's Club America continues to sleepwalk thru the beginning of this season, losing to Morelia 1-0.

17 Stoke 1, 10 Man City 0
12 Bolton 3, 14 Spurs 2
19 Boro 0, 18 Rovers 0
5 Arsenal 0, 8 West Ham 0
9 Fulham 3, 16 Portsmouth 1
4 Villa 0, 7 Wigan 0
11 Hull 2, 20 West Brom 2
1 Man U 1, 6 Everton 0
15 Newcastle 1, 13 Sunderland 1
2 Liverpool 2, 3 Chelsea 0

9 Athletic Bilbao 3, 8 Malaga 2
17 Numancia 0, 2 Real Madrid 2
10 Racing 1, 1 Barca 2
19 Espanyol 1, 15 Recreativo 1
6 Deportivo 3, 5 Villarreal 0
7 Atletico 1, 11 Valladolid 2
18 Osasuna 1, 20 Mallorca 0
4 Valencia 3, 14 Almeria 2
16 Real Betis 2, 13 Getafe 2
12 Sporting Gijon 1, 3 Sevilla 0

8 Napoli 2, 12 Udinese 2
3 Juventus 2, 7 Cagliari 3
11 Atalanta 1, 13 Catania 0
19 Chievo 1, 15 Sampdoria 1
14 Siena 1, 16 Lecce 2
1 Inter 1, 18 Torino 1
4 Genoa 1, 9 Palermo 0
10 Lazio 0, 2 AC Milan 3
20 Reggina 2, 6 AS Roma 2
17 Bologna 1, 5 Fiorentina 3

6 Tecos 1, 3 Cruz Azul 0
5 Morelia 1, 4 America 0
4 Monterrey 1, 1 Chivas 2
5 Atlas 1, 6 Tigres 1
1 Jaguares 1, 3 San Luis 2
4 Necaxa 2, 3 Indios 2
1 Pachuca 1, 2 Atlante 1
6 Santos 0, 5 Puebla 0
2 Toluca 1, 2 Pumas 0

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Mr. Football Picks Steelers by 4, Steelers win by 4

From last week's 8 In the Box.

"In these playoffs though, the Steelers have taken excellent care of the ball, turning it over only once in two wins. So they should continue to do that. I will issue a very sissified pick, if Pittsburgh turns it over less than 3 times, which I think they can do, they will win. If not, all bets are off.

Call it 24-20 Steelers."

Football is pretty boring when you already know what is going to happen.