Monday, February 2, 2009

Super Bowl, Chelsea Experience, UFC Hax

Alright, many of you are going to be pretty pissed off with my analysis because you're a pussy. At least I don't piss on your back and tell you it's rain.

UFC 94

The judging was much better than in Ireland. Quick thoughts: I told you Machida was the bomb. He's a career killer though so you can't have him go for the title. UFC President Dana White is pretty smart. Just know, Machida has not lost a round in the UFC and has the least hits inflicted on him than any other UFC fighter.

BJ Penn got his ASS BEAT DOWN by GSP. I'm a big fan of the rubber guard, which BJ uses. If you don't know, go on youtube and check it out. Basically in the rubber guard you hold your opposite leg while in the conventional guard so a ground-n-pound guy can't just sit in your guard and smash your face. GSP explained that his strategy was to wrestle BJ early so he'd have no punching power and then stand up later. The strategy worked, but something weird happened during the fight. Every time BJ applied the rubber guard, it slipped off. I just though BJ was tired, but BJ's camp is filing a formal complain to the Nevada Athletic Commission that GSP put Vaseline on his back between rounds. OOPS. Fast forward this video to 9:30

You see UFC President Dana White saying to Rashad Evans (from the same camp as GSP) that GSP was in trouble because he got caught putting Vaseline rubbed on his back.

"George is in trouble too...George is in trouble by the Commission. The corner got caught rubbing vaseline all over his back... why would you fucking do that...?"

One thing about White, he cares about the sport a lot. He once kicked off two dipshits on the Ultimate Fighter show for fighting "like street thugs" because they were ruining the professional fighter image he's worked so hard to get for the UFC fighters. White will support BJ's claim to 1) keep the sport clean and 2) get another rematch. Take the money; put it in his pocket.

Alright, enough non-football.

Liverpool vs. Chelsea

Nick said the red card on Lampard was bullshit. Well, funny thing. I was watching the game with my newly befriended Chelsea fan friends of about 40 strong in the bar. There were about 10 Liverpool fans in there. Chelsea fans were in full song and shit, so it was fun. I go to the restroom, come back, and WHAT THE FUCK LAMPARD GOT SENT OFF. I got to see the replay and Lampard did come in stud first, but got all ball and the player he tackled actually kicked Lampard. Ha?

To be fair, Chelsea Coach Scolari said Chelsea back Bosingwa should have gotten sent off, so he agreed it would have evened out. Chelsea really played like shit too, and Liverpool honestly was the more deserving side. I know this is a bad season for Chelsea but I hope Chelsea fans don't act all stupid and want to get rid of Scolari. I still like him.

But the fun wasn't in all this. The fun was the songs. When Liverpool scored, the ten Liverpool fans cheered and jeered us. ALL FUCKING 40 OF US turned to them, stared at them, and sung this (to the tune of the Addams Family theme):

You like to fuck each other
Your sister is your mother
Your father fucked your sister
The Scouser family
da da da dum *clap* *clap*

After 3 rounds of this, Liverpool fans stopped jeering. Then when the other goal scored, Liverpool fans cheered again, but didn't jeer because they learned what happens. So we instead sung this song:

The wheels on the house go round and round, round and round, round and round
The wheels on the house go round and round, all the Scouser day.

It's pretty cool to lose and still feel like you won. Oli, your team deserved the win. Eat shit.

Super Bowl

Everyone and their mom LOVED Super Bowl XLIII with many saying it was the greatest Superbowl ever. Hey, fuck you dipshit. I think I am the ONLY FUCKING ONE to notice how shitty the refereeing was on the Cardinals. It was like a bukake of yellow flags. It seemed like every time the Card D stopped the Steelers, a Card barely touches Rothlesbitch right after he throws the ball and gets a roughing the passer call. Meanwhile, Harrison and Ward throw punches at players and don't get ejected. Even Mr. Obvious John Madden said Harrison should be ejected.

I thought the Cards should have won easily, but they didn't want Fitzgerald to get MVP and decided to pass to Bitchtit Boldin and Overthehill James. Then in the fourth they just passed to Fitz in triple coverage and he scores two touchdowns in 5 minutes. Fuck you, Warner.

So to all those who thought this was the BEST SUPER BOWL EVER (c), go watch Super Bowl XL because that was the BEST SUPER BOWL EVER (c) too.

You put your Steelers in, you put your Steelers out
You put your Steelers in, and you shake it all about
Rosthlesberger's on a motorcycle riding out
Landing to the pavement on his snout!

Fuck you.


Oli Porter said...

2-0!!! And we got rid of Keane!!

Nick Pomazak said...

Youre not the only one who is pissed at how the refs took over the Super was ridiculous, just like the last time the Steelers wre in the Super Bowl and Seattle got a million penalties called on them...Arizona had 106 penalty yards in the Super Bowl and it could have been more if not for all the half the distance to the goal stuff..ridiculous..3 personal fouls on one drive...45 yards on 3 separate penalties on one drive...then theres the "oh we dont need to tell you we reviewed the warner fumble at the end, we already reviewed, everythings cool", wtf was that?...if pittsburgh is in the super bowl its going to be fixed for them to win it..theyre americas team and the nfl knows where its bread is buttered...