Sorry I've been gone for a while. There really is just nothing to write about with the January transfer window closed and the NFL busy conducting its slave auction....er...scouting combine. But now that's changed..because this week, in fact, on this very day, the Champions League Round of 16 begins! Me so hawny!
Patrick has already given his picks, so here are mine for today's matchups. along with some pithy analysis.
ATLETICO MADRID V. FC PORTO
Everytime I read "FC Porto" I think of "Vince Clorto, Keymaster of Gozer". They are the current leaders of the Portugese league, which, before you laugh, has produced as many Sweet 16 teams (2, Sporting Lisbon being the other) than either the German, French, and Dutch leagues combined. What you should know about Porto is that their leading goal scorer goes by one name, and that name is "Hulk". His name is Hulk but he's listed at 150 lbs. As for Atletico, they have sucked the big one in La Liga this year, currently residing in 7th place. They obviously have done OK in the Champions League though, and they tied Liverpool twice in group play. They've never lost at home to a Portugese club. I think they will keep that intact with a draw today, then Porto will finish them off in the second leg.
LYON V. BARCELONA
Lyon has reached this round thanks mostly to being placed in the "Group of Moderate Discomfort" in the previous stage, a group that included 2 clubs, Fiorentina and Romania's Steaua Bucharest, that went the entire group stage without winning a match. The competition gets just a wee bit tougher today, as in facing THE BEST TEAM IN THE WORLD, Barcelona. I say they are the best team in the world because that's what Lyon's coach, Claude Puel has recently called them. Not that I don't agree with that. Barca's not at their top form right now, as evidenced by a loss to lowly Barcelona rivals Espanyol last weekend, but they shouldn't have too much if any trouble with Lyon. They'll win on the road today and win big in the home leg to advance to the quarters.
ARSENAL V. AS ROMA
The Gunners have been held without a goal in four of their last six matches. They went out and got Russian Euro 08 hero Andrei Arshavin, and he led them to a 0-0 draw at home against Sunderland. Awesome. In fairness, they've got Adebayor and Fabregas on their injury list right now, so that probably makes a big difference. Arsenal is in 5th place in the Prem right now, so they are in real danger of not being invited back to this shindig next year. Still, I think they are good enough to win a home match against the 6th place team in Serie A, and beat them pretty easily. A note of caution though, the last time Roma played a Premiership team was in the group stage, and they beat Chelsea 3-1. So if Arsenal does not give themselves some cushion today, they may be in trouble in the second leg.
INTER V. MAN U
And here would be your money matchup. The first place team in Italy against the first place team in England. Inter's peaking right now, having beaten a then-surging AC Milan club a couple of weeks ago. The Nerazzuri (Black N Blue) did not do so hot in the group stage though, managing just a 2-2-2 record and finishing behind Greek side Panathinaikos to earn this plum assignment against the defending European Champs. Man U has a European record 20 match unbeaten streak in Euro play going right now, and I don't think it's going to end today. I think they earn a draw at Milan today, then finish the job at home in the second leg.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Champions League Quick Preview
2/24/09
Atletico Madrid vs. Porto FC - Atletico just went through a coaching change because they've been sucking. The change didn't help because they lost their next match with their new coach, 0-1. Porto has experience and the advantage of having their home leg second. I'm thinking 0-0 first leg.
Lyon vs. Barcelona - If you asked me two weeks ago, I would say Barcelona was the favorites. Lyon got Barcelona at home and in the worst form of the year, which isn't THAT bad, but now is the time to do something. This match will have goals. 2-1 Barcelona for the first leg.
Arsenal vs. Roma - Both teams have been sucking lately, but Arsenal has been sucking because Cesc Fabregas, Theo Walcott, Tomas Rosicky, Eduardo, Mikael Silvestre, and Emmanuel Adebayor are all injured. Yeah, 1-0 Roma.
Inter Milan vs. Manchester United - Manchester United is probably now the favorite with their recent form, but if there was a team to beat them, it is a Mourinho-led Inter Milan. Mourinho is probably best suited to face Man U because he employs super d counter tactics that really bothers Man U teams. Inter is in pretty good form as well. This is #1 vs. #1. If there are a lot of goals, Man U wins; if it's going to be 1-0, Inter will do this. I'm thinking 0-0 because Mourinho is just that messed up.
2/25/09
Chelsea vs. Juventus - As a Chelsea guy, this is probably one of the teams I didn't want to play. Momo Sissoko claims that Chelsea striker Nicolas Anelka told him that Chelsea are scared of Juventus. Fuck you, Sissoko. Liverpool didn't want you. That makes you ugly. The first leg is in Stamford Bridge, and Chelsea has been sucking at home. And apparently Chelsea is scared. 2-0 Juventus.
Real Madrid vs. Liverpool - Sir Fergie thinks Real Madrid are too slow. Yeah, so slow they scored 4-0 and 6-1 last two matches. Liverpool has been sucking but they claim their best player Gerrard is healthy again. No. Oli told Patrick N that Liverpool are scared of Real Madrid. AaaAHAHHAahAHHahAHHAHAH 10-0 Real Madrid.
Sporting vs. Bayern Munich - Uhhh, yeah. Sporting. Yeah. 3-0 Bayern.
Villarreal vs. Panathinaikos - Imma be honest: Who?
Atletico Madrid vs. Porto FC - Atletico just went through a coaching change because they've been sucking. The change didn't help because they lost their next match with their new coach, 0-1. Porto has experience and the advantage of having their home leg second. I'm thinking 0-0 first leg.
Lyon vs. Barcelona - If you asked me two weeks ago, I would say Barcelona was the favorites. Lyon got Barcelona at home and in the worst form of the year, which isn't THAT bad, but now is the time to do something. This match will have goals. 2-1 Barcelona for the first leg.
Arsenal vs. Roma - Both teams have been sucking lately, but Arsenal has been sucking because Cesc Fabregas, Theo Walcott, Tomas Rosicky, Eduardo, Mikael Silvestre, and Emmanuel Adebayor are all injured. Yeah, 1-0 Roma.
Inter Milan vs. Manchester United - Manchester United is probably now the favorite with their recent form, but if there was a team to beat them, it is a Mourinho-led Inter Milan. Mourinho is probably best suited to face Man U because he employs super d counter tactics that really bothers Man U teams. Inter is in pretty good form as well. This is #1 vs. #1. If there are a lot of goals, Man U wins; if it's going to be 1-0, Inter will do this. I'm thinking 0-0 because Mourinho is just that messed up.
2/25/09
Chelsea vs. Juventus - As a Chelsea guy, this is probably one of the teams I didn't want to play. Momo Sissoko claims that Chelsea striker Nicolas Anelka told him that Chelsea are scared of Juventus. Fuck you, Sissoko. Liverpool didn't want you. That makes you ugly. The first leg is in Stamford Bridge, and Chelsea has been sucking at home. And apparently Chelsea is scared. 2-0 Juventus.
Real Madrid vs. Liverpool - Sir Fergie thinks Real Madrid are too slow. Yeah, so slow they scored 4-0 and 6-1 last two matches. Liverpool has been sucking but they claim their best player Gerrard is healthy again. No. Oli told Patrick N that Liverpool are scared of Real Madrid. AaaAHAHHAahAHHahAHHAHAH 10-0 Real Madrid.
Sporting vs. Bayern Munich - Uhhh, yeah. Sporting. Yeah. 3-0 Bayern.
Villarreal vs. Panathinaikos - Imma be honest: Who?
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Soccer stuff and what I've been up to
MLS vs. AC Milan
The MLS imposed a deadline for AC Milan getting the deal done with the Galaxy. This deadline has come and passed and now the MLS is moving on. Don't be fooled by what AC Milan thinks is "just a tactic" by the MLS to raise the price in negotiations. The MLS needed to set a date because they base their whole marketing around Beckham. With a month to go before the season starts, ticket sales need to be established (including presale), events need to be set, and jerseys need to be ready for sponsors. If I'm Herbalife, I'd want to know if Becks is coming back for sure, too.
AC Milan is really coming off as arrogant assholes like Ramon Calderon's techniques he used when he was trying to get Cristiano Ronaldo for Real Madrid. If Beckham is smart, he'd just pay the 10 million the MLS are asking for and move now instead of holding the MLS hostage.
Inter Milan vs. AC Milan
I am not a fan of Italian soccer. It's usually slow, boring, all d, and full of people obviously flopping. That said, this match was AWESOME. Inter Milan should have scored 5 goals or more, but they just kept missing, and this almost bit them in the ass later when Pato and Ronaldinho turned on the juice at the end. AC Milan lost 2-1 and Beckham looked like he got hurt. If Beckham is hurt seriously from this match, AC Milan doesn't have to pay shit and MLS gets no sales money because Becks is sitting on the bench. Damn.
What is Patrick N up to lately?
I've told you guys my favorite fighter is Lyoto Machida. His style is hilarious because he fights all boring and doesn't care about the crowd booing because he hasn't lost one round in the UFC. Check out Geijitsu.com and see if you recognize the style of your favorite sports comedian anywhere on there.
PS: HEY OLI, HOW'S GERRARD DOING?
The MLS imposed a deadline for AC Milan getting the deal done with the Galaxy. This deadline has come and passed and now the MLS is moving on. Don't be fooled by what AC Milan thinks is "just a tactic" by the MLS to raise the price in negotiations. The MLS needed to set a date because they base their whole marketing around Beckham. With a month to go before the season starts, ticket sales need to be established (including presale), events need to be set, and jerseys need to be ready for sponsors. If I'm Herbalife, I'd want to know if Becks is coming back for sure, too.
AC Milan is really coming off as arrogant assholes like Ramon Calderon's techniques he used when he was trying to get Cristiano Ronaldo for Real Madrid. If Beckham is smart, he'd just pay the 10 million the MLS are asking for and move now instead of holding the MLS hostage.
Inter Milan vs. AC Milan
I am not a fan of Italian soccer. It's usually slow, boring, all d, and full of people obviously flopping. That said, this match was AWESOME. Inter Milan should have scored 5 goals or more, but they just kept missing, and this almost bit them in the ass later when Pato and Ronaldinho turned on the juice at the end. AC Milan lost 2-1 and Beckham looked like he got hurt. If Beckham is hurt seriously from this match, AC Milan doesn't have to pay shit and MLS gets no sales money because Becks is sitting on the bench. Damn.
What is Patrick N up to lately?
I've told you guys my favorite fighter is Lyoto Machida. His style is hilarious because he fights all boring and doesn't care about the crowd booing because he hasn't lost one round in the UFC. Check out Geijitsu.com and see if you recognize the style of your favorite sports comedian anywhere on there.
PS: HEY OLI, HOW'S GERRARD DOING?
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
1. It's looking like we've got ourselves a 2 horse race down the stretch for the Premiership title. Man U and Liverpool both eked out 1 goal wins this weekend. First place United got a 1-0 win at West Ham thanks to a goal from Ryan Giggs. Liverpool kept themselves within striking distance, 2 points off the lead, by coming off the canvas to get goals from Dirk Kuyt and Fernando Torres to get a 3-2 win at Portsmouth, who celebrated by firing their manager, Tony Adams. Pompey will now be on their 3rd manager of the year as Adams took over in October for Harry Redknapp, who bolted for Tottenham early in the season.
Meanwhile, 4th place Chelsea could manage only a 0-0 draw at home against Hull City. Chelsea is now 7 points back of Man U, and the Devils have a match in hand. I'm going to go ahead and say their goose is cooked. Aston Villa remains an intriguing wildcard, as they moved into sole possession of 3rd place with a 2-0 win at Blackburn. They are only 5 points back, but you don't really think someone outside of the rotating cast of big 4 clubs can win the Premiership, do you??
2. The AC Milan Scudetto Express got derailed this weekend when the soon to be new permanent club of David Beckham could manage only a 1-1 draw at home against last place Reggina. Milan falls 8 points behind 1st place Inter, and they pretty much need a win in the Milan derby this weekend to stay in contention. Juventus leapfrogged over Milan into second place with a 2-1 win at Catatonia...I mean Catania.
3. OH SHIT....this just in....Chelsea has canned manager Luiz Felipe Scolari!!! Scolari came to Chelsea this past summer after leading Portugal's national team since 2003. Chelsea, as I mentioned earlier, is in 4th place and is behind Aston Villa who is not in the Club. So this isn't totally unexpected but still, very very newsworthy. Let's go to our special correspondent to get his take on this.
WEEKEND SCOREBOARD
ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE
9 Man City 1, 19 Boro 0
11 Sunderland 2, 17 Stoke 0
18 Rovers 0, 3 Villa 2
20 West Brom 2, 13 Newcastle 3
4 Chelsea 0, 12 Hull 0
6 Everton 3, 14 Bolton 0
7 Wigan 0, 10 Fulham 0
16 Portsmouth 2, 2 Liverpool 3
15 Tottenham 0, 5 Arsenal 0
8 West Ham 0, 1 Man U 1
LA LIGA
2 Real Madrid 1, 11 Racing 0
3 Sevilla 1, 14 Real Betis 2
13 Getafe 1, 19 Espanyol 1
20 Mallorca 1, 8 Deportivo 1
7 Malaga 3, 15 Almeria 2
5 Villarreal 2, 18 Numancia 1
1 Barcelona 3, 12 Sporting Gijon 1
9 Valladolid 2, 10 Athletic Bilbao 1
17 Osasuna 1, 4 Valencia 0
16 Recreativo 0, 6 Atletico 3
SERIE A
17 Lecce 0, 1 Inter 3
3 AC Milan 1, 20 Reggina 1
9 Cagliari 0, 10 Atalanta 1
14 Catania 1, 2 Juventus 2
12 Udinese 1, 16 Bologna 0
4 Fiorentina 1, 11 Lazio 0
18 Torino 1, 19 Chievo 1
15 Sampdoria 2, 13 Siena 2
6 AS Roma 3, 5 Genoa 0
7 Palermo 2, 8 Napoli 1
FMF
6 Tecos 2, 2 Monterrey 3
3 San Luis 2, 6 Atlas 1
1 Chivas 1, 4 Necaxa 1
4 Cruz Azul 1, 5 Tigres 1
4 Atlante 0, 1 Jaguares 2
3 Pumas 0, 2 Morelia 1
3 Indios 0, 6 Santos 0
5 Puebla 0, 2 Toluca 2
5 America 1, 1 Pachuca 3
Meanwhile, 4th place Chelsea could manage only a 0-0 draw at home against Hull City. Chelsea is now 7 points back of Man U, and the Devils have a match in hand. I'm going to go ahead and say their goose is cooked. Aston Villa remains an intriguing wildcard, as they moved into sole possession of 3rd place with a 2-0 win at Blackburn. They are only 5 points back, but you don't really think someone outside of the rotating cast of big 4 clubs can win the Premiership, do you??
2. The AC Milan Scudetto Express got derailed this weekend when the soon to be new permanent club of David Beckham could manage only a 1-1 draw at home against last place Reggina. Milan falls 8 points behind 1st place Inter, and they pretty much need a win in the Milan derby this weekend to stay in contention. Juventus leapfrogged over Milan into second place with a 2-1 win at Catatonia...I mean Catania.
3. OH SHIT....this just in....Chelsea has canned manager Luiz Felipe Scolari!!! Scolari came to Chelsea this past summer after leading Portugal's national team since 2003. Chelsea, as I mentioned earlier, is in 4th place and is behind Aston Villa who is not in the Club. So this isn't totally unexpected but still, very very newsworthy. Let's go to our special correspondent to get his take on this.
WEEKEND SCOREBOARD
ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE
9 Man City 1, 19 Boro 0
11 Sunderland 2, 17 Stoke 0
18 Rovers 0, 3 Villa 2
20 West Brom 2, 13 Newcastle 3
4 Chelsea 0, 12 Hull 0
6 Everton 3, 14 Bolton 0
7 Wigan 0, 10 Fulham 0
16 Portsmouth 2, 2 Liverpool 3
15 Tottenham 0, 5 Arsenal 0
8 West Ham 0, 1 Man U 1
LA LIGA
2 Real Madrid 1, 11 Racing 0
3 Sevilla 1, 14 Real Betis 2
13 Getafe 1, 19 Espanyol 1
20 Mallorca 1, 8 Deportivo 1
7 Malaga 3, 15 Almeria 2
5 Villarreal 2, 18 Numancia 1
1 Barcelona 3, 12 Sporting Gijon 1
9 Valladolid 2, 10 Athletic Bilbao 1
17 Osasuna 1, 4 Valencia 0
16 Recreativo 0, 6 Atletico 3
SERIE A
17 Lecce 0, 1 Inter 3
3 AC Milan 1, 20 Reggina 1
9 Cagliari 0, 10 Atalanta 1
14 Catania 1, 2 Juventus 2
12 Udinese 1, 16 Bologna 0
4 Fiorentina 1, 11 Lazio 0
18 Torino 1, 19 Chievo 1
15 Sampdoria 2, 13 Siena 2
6 AS Roma 3, 5 Genoa 0
7 Palermo 2, 8 Napoli 1
FMF
6 Tecos 2, 2 Monterrey 3
3 San Luis 2, 6 Atlas 1
1 Chivas 1, 4 Necaxa 1
4 Cruz Azul 1, 5 Tigres 1
4 Atlante 0, 1 Jaguares 2
3 Pumas 0, 2 Morelia 1
3 Indios 0, 6 Santos 0
5 Puebla 0, 2 Toluca 2
5 America 1, 1 Pachuca 3
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Pro Bowl Recap
Larry Fitzgerald scored two more touchdowns just to remind everyone who their lord and savior is.
The NFC won 30-21.
And now...Quatto sings "Chocolate Rain"
The NFC won 30-21.
And now...Quatto sings "Chocolate Rain"
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