Friday, June 11, 2010

HAPPY WORLD CUP KICKOFF DAY!

It's finally here! Christmas in June! As I write this, I am wearing my Mexican sombrero and blowing my South African zuzuela, frantically cheering for both teams like the neutral that I am as the first match of World Cup 2010 is in its embryonic moments.

I've got Mexico winning this match 2-1. South Africa is a squad nobody takes seriously, but they have played really well in preparation and the festive atmosphere should give them a boost.

So at this point I think it's only fair that I bestow my group stage picks on you:

ADVANCING TEAMS
GROUP A
Mexico, Uruguay- France has been a mess for the last couple of months, and they are in a tough enough group that they won't be able to get out of their own way

GROUP B
Argentina, Nigeria- Haven't been to impressed with Nigeria lately, but they have the benefit of being more talented than South Korea and Greece, so they will squeak thru.

GROUP C
England, US- Honestly I think it's a tossup between US and Slovenia to get 2nd in this group, but it would be so crippling to US soccer not to advance that I have to pick them.

GROUP D
Germany, Serbia- Ghana is missing Michael Essien, and Serbia has a lot of talent

GROUP E
Netherlands, Denmark- Pretty much all of the African teams seem to be misfiring in their prep matches, that includes Cameroon

GROUP F
Italy, Slovakia- Slovakia gets the 2nd spot in the weakest group in the tournament

GROUP G
Brazil, Portugal- This was the Group of Death before Drogba's injury took out Ivory Coast

GROUP H
Spain, Chile- Spain got a really easy draw here. Chile and Switzerland are kind of a toss up, but whatever. Either one gets drummed out in the round of 16


ELIMINATION STAGE
Mexico over Nigeria- I'm all over Mexico. There's a big Tecate billboard on my way to work with some of the Mexican stars on there, most notably Cuauthemoc Blanco doing his Usain Bolt goal pose.

England over Serbia- It's England's destiny to eventually get knocked out by Germany on PKs, like always.

Germany over US- Kind of unsettling that even if the US advances, Germany almost certainly awaits.

Argentina over Uruguay- U R Gay

Netherlands over Slovakia- Slovakia gets Van der Sloot'ed

Brazil over Chile

Italy over Denmark

Spain over Portugal- Wowwww how's this for a round of 16 match??

QUARTERFINALS
England over Mexico
Germany over Argentina
Brazil over Netherlands
Italy over Spain

SEMIFINALS
Germany over England- On PK's of course
Brazil over Italy

FINALS
Brazil over Germany- MMMM how's that chalk taste?

Okay those be my picks. Currently we're about 30 minutes into Mexico/South Africa and it's still scoreless. Full recap of this match and Uruguay/France tomorrow!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Jun 11-13 preview

So many matches, so I don't know if I can keep this preview up, but here's trying:

South Africa vs. Mexico - 11 Jun

Story of the game: Will Mexico's midfield gel in time or will South Africa and the home crowd bully Mexico around?

Uruguay vs. France - 11 Jun

SOTG: Uruguay is a tough first weak team test for France who's struggling to score goals.

South Korea vs. Greece - 12 Jun

SOTG: Greece is better than people think, and South Korea is exactly what people think.

Argentina vs. Nigeria - 12 Jun

SOTG: Argentina will start three strikers because they have 6 good ones. Nigeria will need to bully the middle to prevent Argentina forwards the ball.

England vs. United States - 12 Jun

SOTG: Oli Porter will arm wrestle me instead of this match. I will win of course.

Algeria vs. Slovenia - 13 Jun

SOTG: Break time. Slovania is stronger only because Algeria sucks.

Serbia vs. Ghana - 13 Jun

SOFG: Media's loving Serbia, and Ghana can't do shit without their best player hurt.

Germany vs. Australia - 13 Jun

SOTG: This game will be an indicator of how strong Germany really is and how weak Australia is.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

World Cup Group F, G, H Preview

Group F

Italy 10/1 Pirlo (Milan), Zambrotta (Milan), Buffon (Juventus)

Paraguay 40/1 Roque Santa Cruz (Man City)

New Zealand 1000/1 Hopefully God or Satan

Slovakia 150/1 Skrtel (Liverpool)

Italy seems like the easy favorite here, but Italy is old, lacking on goal-scoring power, and the attribute that keeps them in World Cup contention, defense, is lacking sorely. This team seems put together just to make their defense of the title before the team blows up into the youth movement. It's unfortunate that I pulled this team in my betting pool. Italy is going to have to pull out some of that defense out of their ass to make it past the first round of the knockout stage, if they make it there. Paraguay and Slovakia are more appealing to me as teams that would pull out of this group. Paraguay has some athletes on their team and Slovakia has a youthful midfield. Both of these factors can cause an old team problems. If Italy advances to the knockout stage, don't expect them to look impressive doing it.

Group G

Brazil 11/2 Nilmar (Villareal), Robinho (Santos), Luis Fabiano (Sevilla), Kaka (Real Madrid), Thiago Silva (Milan), Daniel Alves (Barca), Lucio (Inter), Maicon (Inter), Julio Cesar (Inter)

Korea DPR 125/1 LMAO.

Côte d'Ivoire 25/1 Drogba (Chelsea), Kalou (Chelsea), Yaya Toure (Barca), Eboue (Arsenal), Kolo Toure (Man City)

Portugal 20/1 Simao (Athletico Madrid), Critiano Ronaldo (Real Madrid), Tiago (Athletico Madrid), Pepe (Real Madrid), Carvalho (Chelsea), Ferreira (Chelsea), Bruno Alves (Porto)

That's just dick to put the nukey Asians no one wants to listen to in the group of death. Initially, I felt Brazil and the Ivory Coast were coming out of this, but with Drogba hurt, Portugal may have been given a gift. Now, Drogba is said to return the second game, but this guy is THE scoring option for the Ivory Coast with Kalou more of a support striker. Portugal is traditionally soft, so I see the Ivory Coast
midfield bossing Portugal around. Brazil is so good they didn't put Ronaldinho (who's in the commercials for the World Cup HAHA) on their squad. I still think he's really good, so them not including horse face shows they're looking for chemistry more than just putting an all-star team together. This is the only time Robinho gets to go against top talent, so he'll be eager to prove until he is chokes under pressure, but you have two top guys to rotate with him. Brazil is my favorite to the finals, of course, but it'll be interesting to see if they can maintain defensive intensity when they need to. Their defense is better than previous years with basically Inter Milan as their backline and goalie. That group is pretty good at D thanks to Mourinho. I'm picking Brazil and Portugal to come out unless Drogba gets back to full health.

Group H

Spain 4/1 David Silva (Valencia), Arbeloa (Real Madrid), Sergio Ramos (Real Madrid), Xabi Alonzo (Real Madrid), Cesc Fabragas (Arsenal), Fernando Torres (Liverpool), David Villa (Barca), Iniesta (Barca), Puyol (Barca), Pique (Barca), Albiol (Real Madrid), Casillas (Real Madrid)

Switzerland 150/1 Blaise Nkufo (Seattle Sounders FC)

Honduras 1000/1 Palacios (Tottenham),

Chile 40/1 Jean Beausejour (Club America), Mark Gonzalez (Moscow), Claudio Bravo (Real Sociedad)

This is probably the easiest group Spain has ever played in. As you can see, Spain is stacked with Real Madrid and Barca players, and not just in one part of the field. Spain is the favorite to win the World Cup because they have Torres and David Villa up top, Fabragas passing to them in mid, and Real Madrid and Barca on D. Shit is over. Switzerland had higher profile players, but not really, so I just wanted to mention that they have an MLS player on their team. Chile will be alright. Watch for my Club America homie. He's fast.

I have Spain and England in the finals, but that's because Spain beats Brazil. This year's World Cup is going to ownnnnnnnnnnn so enjoy Nicky P and I's coverage because there's going to be a lot to celebrate this blog's 4 year anniversary. You're fucking welcome.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

World Cup Group E Preview

Group E

Netherlands 11/1 Robben (Bayern), van Persie (Arsenal), van der Vaart (Real Madrid), Sneijder (Inter), Kuyt (Liverpool)

Denmark 66/1 Bendtner (Arsenal), Poulsen (Juventus), Kroldrup (Florentina), Agger (Liverpool), Sorensen (Stoke City)

Japan 125/1 Honda (Moscow), Shunsuke Nakamura (Yokohama), Abe (Urawa Red Diamonds)

Cameroon 66/1 Eto'o (Inter), Song (Arsenal), Makoun (Lyon), Bassong (Tottenham)

This group will be more competitive than people may think. The Dutch are straight up fool's gold. Yes they have talent, but they're fragile as hell and are chokers. I picked them in Euro 2008 and learned my lesson. Don't be raped like I did or my friend is going to be: stay away from the Dutch if you're betting. Cameroon isn't as strong as some people might think as well. They're athleticism isn't there as it has in the past, and really that's all they had when they were competitive. Japan looks like a push over, and they probably are, but they have a lot of local talent that may surprise some people, but not me who saw them live in Japan when I visited there two years ago. Denmark is a coin flip of awesomeness and fail to me. I want to say they'll be the ones coming out of the group with the Dutch, but I really can't say this with much confidence. Whatever teams come out here, don't expect them to go very far unless their team defense is strong.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

World Cup Group D Preview

Group D

Germany 9/1 Klose (Bayern), Mertesacker (Werder)

Australia 100/1 Tim Cahill (Everton)

Serbia 66/1 Stankovic (Inter), Ivonovic (Chelsea)

Ghana 66/1 Muntari (Inter) NO ESSIEN :/

A weak group all around, the winner of this group won't probably get past the first round of the knockout stage. I had Germany and Ghana coming out of this group until Essien got hurt. Now I have to pick Serbia. In fact, I find it in the realm of possibilities that Serbia could win this group given the key injuries surrounding their group rivals' injuries. Germany without the slow, but experienced Ballack is going to be a team without much direction. At first I thought this injury was a good thing because of my low opinion of Ballack, but Germany seems poised to being assed out if they don't focus.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

More World Cup Prep

Our nervous contestants continued their feverous cramming for their World Cup finals this weekend. Who impressed and who distressed?

- #41 Ireland continued to unleash its Irish Curse as retribution for their controversial elimination, beating a qualifier for the second time this week. Robbie Keane had a pair of goals as the Irish trounced #30 Algeria.

- #19 Cameroon continues to look shaky. Their 1-1 draw against #25 Slovenia was an improvement over their dreadful scoreless draw against Georgia earlier this week, but Africa's highest ranked team isn't doing a whole lot to inspire.

- #6 Germany struck fear into everyone by blitzkrieging #57 Hungary 3-0.

- #78 New Zealand has shown this week that they may not be the easy out they were supposed to be. After a hard fought one goal loss to Australia earlier in the week, they broke through with a stunning 1-0 win over #15 Serbia.

- #2 Spain famously can be counted on to shit the bed in the World Cup, no matter how good they are. They looked like they won't disappoint in that respect as they bungled to a 3-2 win over #66 Saudi Arabia. It took an injury time goal from Fernando Llorente to give them the win.

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The #14 US fell behind 1-0 to #29 Turkey in a lacklustre first half, but rebounded with goals from Jozy Altidore and Clint Dempsey in the second to avoid an embarrassing two losses in one week to teams that didn't qualify for South Africa.

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The Yanks can take solace in the fact that their opening game opponents, #8 England, didn't look great either this weekend. They trailed #45 Japan 1-0 at the half, and needed a pair of own goals in the second to escape with a victory.

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#47 South Korea looked impressive in prep wins over Japan and Ivory Coast, but looked decidedly not impressive in a 1-0 loss to #82 Belarus this weekend.

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#17 Mexico took on some really tough competition earlier in the week, losing to England and the Netherlands. They followed that up with a breezy 5-1 confidence booster against #93 Gambia this weekend. Javier Hernandez had a pair of goals as did Chivas' Bofo Bautista.

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Didier Drogba opened the scoring shortly after half for #27 Ivory Coast, but they couldn't hold the lead and managed only a 2-2 tie against #31 Paraguay in Sven Goran Eriksson's first match as the Elephants gaffer.

- #21 Nigeria limps to South Africa, following up a 0-0 draw earlier in the week to Saudi Arabia with a similarly miserable 1-1 draw against #35 Colombia.

- #9 France is another team in bad form. A shaky win earlier in the week over Costa Rica is followed up by a 1-1 draw at #55 Tunisia.

- #18 Chile had a busy and successful weekend, taking down #56 Northern Ireland 1-0, and #26 Israel 3-0.

- #83 South Africa continues to romp thru it's warm-ups, getting it's 3rd win of the week with a 5-0 blasting of #114 Guatemala.

-#20 Australia had a nice showing, topping #36 Denmark 1-0 on a late goal from Josh Kennedy.

- #32 Ghana looked a mess in getting steamrolled by #4 Netherlands 4-1. Goals for Real Madrid's Dutch castaways, Wesley Sneijder and Rafael van der Vaart.

- #3 Portugal put the Cape Verde Islands horror show behind it with a solid 3-1 win over #19 Cameroon, who has looked horrible in its prep matches. A pair of goals for FC Porto's Raul Meireles.

STOCK UP
Group A- South Africa, Mexico
Group C- Slovenia, United States
Group D- Germany, Australia
Group E- Netherlands
Group F- Paraguay, New Zealand
Group G- Portugal
Group H- Chile

STOCK DOWN
Group A- France
Group B- Nigeria, South Korea
Group C- Algeria
Group D- Serbia, Ghana
Group E- Denmark, Cameroon
Group G- Ivory Coast
Group H- Spain


Tuesday, June 1, 2010

World Cup Group C Preview

Group C

England 5/1 Rooney (Man U), Lampard (Chelsea), Gerrard (Liverpool), Fabio Capello (Manager)

United States 66/1 Buddle (Galaxy), Torres (Pachuca), Bradley (Borussia)

Algeria 150/1 HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA

Slovania 150/1 HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

Let's get real. This group was made so that the US and England advance. If either team does not advance, someone's ass gets fired. I look more ahead to the knockout stages. The United States and England would face Ghana or Germany in the knockout stage. Both are very beatable teams. After that, it's Mexico, France, Argentina, or Greece. All four are also super beatable. While England looks sure to advance far, don't be surprised if the US can get their offense rolling that they advance to the semis. The key to their offense are the three I listed. Buddle took the injured Davies's place. Buddle is really fast and a goal machine. Torres and Bradley, while young, are athletic and smart. Youth becomes that double-edged sword, but this squad's make up with the teams they have to go through has me believing a bit, and you all know I'm the most pessimistic asshole when it comes to teams I want to win.