ITALY 2, FRANCE 0
Entering play today, we knew that one of the 06 World Cup finalists would be going home. Both Italy and France got drummed by the Netherlands, and tied Romania, meaning they both entered the game with only 1 point apiece, and both needed a win and help from the Netherlands in their game against Romania to guarantee safe passage into the elimination round.
Italy won the 06 final, and it was clear they would win this one too, when in the 25th minute French defender Eric Abidal was given a red card for bringing down Luca Toni in the penalty box. Not only did the ensuing PK give Italy the 1-0 lead, but it meant that France would have to play the final 65 minutes with only 10 men, if they can even be called men.
This game was a bloodbath that saw 7 yellow cards, 1 red card, a beheading, 3 nut shots, and 1 waterboarding. These 2 countries hate each other. I'm sure they'd probably go to war if their men weren't so effeminate.
What Is This, a Mariners Game?
NETHERLANDS 2, ROMANIA 0
This game was going on simultaneously with the Italy/France game, so there was a lot of scoreboard watching. If Italy and France tied, Romania could possibly advance with a tie, but once it became clear Italy was going to win, that meant that Romania needed a win to advance.
Cue the Rocky IV training in Siberia music! I smell an upset!
Or not. Holland dominated Romania just like they did Italy and France, and ended their 3 game dominance of the group of death with a perfect record and a 9-1 goal differential. Hope you all like windmills, because this team is the favorite right now.
RRRRROWWWRRRR...I'm gonna gets me an online degree!!
GERMANY 1, AUSTRIA 0
Austria entered this tournament as the 90 somethingth ranked national team in the world, behind Mozambique and a few other made-up countries. They were one of the host nations though, so they got an automatic spot in the tournament, and whaddaya know, they still had a chance to advance heading into their final opening round game.
Germany, meanwhile, is one of the favorites but has been terrible so far, teetering on the brink of a national catastrophe of not qualifying for the quarterfinals that would be rivalled only by David Hasselhoff's embarrassing YouTube video of last year.
No worries for Germany though. Austria summoned the spirit of 1938 and laid down for Germany faster than you could say "Anschluss". Well, actually, it wasn't THAT bad. Chelsea's Michael Ballack scored early in the second half, and Austria had no prayer of answering. Germany wobbles into the quarters, while we say goodbye to Austria, and their heroically named goalkeeper, Jurgen Macho. I encourage you to go start a band called Jurgen Macho now.
CROATIA 1, POLAND 0
This was like a Week 17 NFL game that doesn't mean anything where all the scrubs play. I'm pretty sure Kyle Orton was playing goalie for one of these teams.
GROUP B FINAL STANDINGS
* CROATIA 9 PTS
* GERMANY 6
AUSTRIA 1
POLAND 1
GROUP C FINAL STANDINGS
* NETHERLANDS 9 PTS
* ITALY 4
ROMANIA 2
FRANCE 2
So, to review, we've got seven of our final 8 revealed! Come on down!
Croatia
Germany
Italy
Netherlands
Turkey
Portugal
Span, I mean, SPAIN!
The only spot still in doubt is either going to go to Sweden or Russia, who play tomorrow. Since Russia is playing, you know the game will be fixed, I just don't know for who though.
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