Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Three people you can shoot instead of Club America players

First Cabanas gets shot in the head in a Mexico City bar. Then JC Silva (very good player as well) gets shot from a car jacking. Looks like all the drug lords are Chivas fans. Stop shooting these poor guys that make your country better. Here are some better people to shoot if you feel the need to car jack or get rid of someone from your bar:

Drug Lords

I asked a class of Mexican students what they’re scared of the most in Mexico, and they told me drug lords. Apparently, you have to watch your babies and children because drug lords kidnap them, gut them, sew their eyes and mouths, and stuff them with drugs. What happened to the good ole days of just shoving them up your own ass? Drug lords have made getting cheap lobster scary. Now I gotta go to Red Lobster instead of exploiting the poorness of Mexico.

Carlos Mencia

This guy is the worst thing to come from Mexico ever. He copied Dave Chapelle’s show, took everyone else’s jokes, and comes up with catchphrases that makes the world more retarded. DUH DUH DUH. Nice man. If someone shot this guy, not many people would miss this fat ass. Then he had the balls to charge Joe Rogan with copyright infringement just because Rogan rightfully called him a plagiarizer. Joe Rogan has plenty of other, better comedians to rip off than you. You suck so much that Mexico won’t allow you back.

USA Soccer

It seems like Mexican soccer does AWESOME except against USA. Sure, they’re undefeated at home vs USA, but that’s because you give them swine flu. Mexicans should shoot all the USA Soccer players so they get replaced with retards from the MLS. Oh wait, that’s Donovan HAHAAHHAHAHHA. As a side note, I’m going into an English bar dressed as a colonist with eight other motherfuckers when we play and talk shit. AMERICA VICTOR. FUCK THE RED COATS. Except Oli. He’s okay.

In short, Mexico is a pretty bad ass country with hot chicks, because I married one, but you gotta stop shooting my favorite teams' players. Or shoot them after we sell them. Cabanas was worth 3-5 million. Thx.

1 comment:

Oli Porter said...

Good to know that I'm ok!