Saturday, December 20, 2008

Bowl Picks

As much as the BCS system is the most nonsensical system to determine a champion in the near and far universe, me and Voltron (the lion one; fuck the vehicle one) love this time of season because bowl represent the Superbowl for a bunch of schools. Here are some of my picks that I'm walking the walk with in a Bowl Pick'em.

Patrick N picks are in bold


Poinsettia Bowl: Favorite TCU (11) vs. Boise St. (9)

This is a toss up with TCU's defense and Boise's offense. Boise St. is going to be one of those schools that has the most undefeated seasons without a BCS Championship. Vegas has this as an even match up with most casinos having TCU up by 2-3 pts, but I think Boise has the intangibles and want this game more than TCU to bitch the BCS system.

Hawaii Bowl: Favorite Notre Dame vs. Hawaii

Hilariously, Notre Dame, the crappiest, overhyped team in any sport, is favored. Notre Dame's d sucks, o sucks, and is flying into a Hawaii home game because, shit, IT'S THE FUCKING HAWAII BOWL. Vegas has Hawaii favored by a point, but all the casinos have Notre Dame by 1.5 pts. go to the Hilton Casino or right now, put money on Hawaii and make the easiest coin in your life.

BCS Bowls

The Orange Bowl (AKA The Dogshit Bowl): Favorite Cincinnati (12) vs. Virginia Tech (21)

Mary Star of the Sea vs. Braille Institute. Deaf U vs. Amy Grant State. Who gives a donkey dick about this BCS bowl? These teams make it while Boise St. and Texas Tech didn't. Damn, BCS is so awesome. Vegas has this as even, most casinos have this as Cincinnati as two pt favorites, I see Virginia Tech win because I took a dump and it was in the shape of a VT. Don't ask how that happened.

Sugar Bowl (AKA The BCS Rig Bowl): Favorite Alabama (4) vs. Utah (7)

See, this is just messed up. BCS wants to make a point that the Utahs and Boise Sts are not worthy of BCS bowls by pitting Utah against Alabama. Why couldn't Utah play Cincinnati or Virginia Tech? Hell, Even Penn State I think Utah would have a chance to beat, but Alabama? Really. Alabama/USC or Alabama/Texas would have been better, but BCS didn't want a co-champion problem again. I hate Utah, but I feel sorry for them here. Vegas has Alabama favored by a 2nd to highest 11 points making it the second most guaranteed win right next to the South Florida rapage over Memphis. Whatever, BCS. Whatever.

Fiesta Bowl (AKA The BCS Rewards Whispering Eyes Not Manliness Bowl): Texas (3) vs. Ohio State (10)

Thanks to USC, we didn't have to see Ohio State get raped again in the BCS Championship and USC gets cheated from a National Title game. Wow. This match up is ironic because Texas put 4 super hard games to screw themselves over, and Ohio State rigs their schedule to lose early so they can build back up the rankings. If Ohio State wins this, I will uninstall my face with my fist.

Rose Bowl (AKA The USC Bowl): Favorite USC (5) vs. Penn State (6)

A home game for USC, the only way Penn State has a chance in this is if USC's mind isn't in this because they wanted a different bowl just to change things up. Then Pete Carroll will be like, "Dawgs, 7 of you defensive bitches will be going to the NFL. If anyone else wants to get paid, better bukake Penn State." Then USC will surpass the 10 pt favorite mark given to them by Vegas and I'll give half my BCS title vote to USC. The other half is to Texas. And the other half is to Boise St.

BCS Championship: Favorite Florida (1) vs. Oklahoma (2)

Look, based on the BCS system, this was probably the best match up. But that's like saying me and your mom was the best match up when I had to choose a dog, a monkey, a rock, and a man. And picking the monkey would have been alright. And maybe the man if he looked like Angelina Jolie. Would it really be that wrong to see one of these teams as champions? No. But this would be like having the Patriots playing the Cowboys last year leaving the Giants to not win the title. This title game just feels empty to me. Congrats to Florida who are 3 point favorites in the casinos and probably will get higher as we get closer to this bowl's date.

I wait in anticipation for Nicky P's final NFL Power Rankings so I can put them in bowl games and play them on autoplay in NFL 2009. And if Nick put them in bowl games himself, that would be even better. HEHE


Nick Pomazak said...

I will be updating the NFL BCS Rankings this week! You will have your bowl games to play over the christmas holiday..ho ho ho..

Ken said...

I think all the Hawaii players noticed your comment and went and bet against themselves to make easier coin by throwing the game. I believe that because it's better than believing the alternative, that Hawaii was actually trying to stop that ass-raping last night.

Patrick N said...

Dude I couldn't beLIEVE how raped Hawaii got. It was Notre Dame. Are you serious??? Notre Dame didn't even try they just went surfing and showed up the day of, suited up, and played. KEN I BLAME YOU.

Ken said...

You caught me. Charlie Weis came up to me and said "Ken, you are half Irish and have Sioux, you understand the conflict between the overrated, overhyped white sacks of crap and the clearly superior indigneous peoples better than anyone. How can I possibly win this game against Hawaii?" and I said, "Chuck, look to history to guide you. Look at how the white man always beats the indigenous man." So Weis brought all the Hawaii players new uniforms as a gesture of friendship before the game, and all those uniforms had small pox. And rohypnol.