Thursday, January 17, 2008

Football Weekly

Moss vs. Blackmailer

Some attorney chick put a restraining order on Patriots WR Randy Moss because of "battery causing serious injury." Moss claimed she was going for a money grab blackmailing him, asking for a six figure sum to make the incident go away. When I think of "battery," I think Moss fucking beat her. Moss says he never hit a women, ever. Chick got exposed because come to find that the "battery" was Moss "refused to allow her to seek medical treatment." For what the fuck, I don't know. You know who is the maddest about this news? No, not the Patriots. It's the San Diego Chargers.

When shit outside of life gets on Kobe Bryant, Bryant plays like a mad man venting his frustrations on the court. Well guess what? The Patriots are like 22 Kobe Bryants and this new is just going to have them play harder to put the focus on football because, as Belicheck showed, if you win games, everything else is forgotten. Pats are going to FUCK UP shitty ass Norv "Overrated" Turner.

Rich Rodriguez vs. psycho ex-girlfriend

When Rich Rodriguez left West Virginia for Michigan, I don't think he knew he was ditching the psycho ex-girlfriend type. First, West Virginia is trying to get back their 4 mil from him. Then, West Virginia cried that Rodriguez made calls to three Michigan recruits on West Virginia's phone (which he denies). Next, West Virginia claims he took a bunch of "secret" files or "erased academic files" or some shit. Come to find it was just Rodriguez clearing his fucking desk for the next person in charge. Funny thing was that when Rodriguez went to his new Michigan office, HIS DESK WAS CLEAR THERE AS WELL OH FUCK. Someone hunt down Carr.

The psycho ex-girlfriend syndrome gets worse:

"Rodriguez's relatives have been harassed and threatened since his resignation as West Virginia football coach.

His mother, Arleen Rodriguez, said her teen grandson received a death threat and found other harassing notes taped to his locker at East Fairmont High School. Arleen said her 12-year-old granddaughter had to be escorted to classes." -ESPN

Wow, after putting your asses on the map, you go and shit on that guy? Yeah, like anyone will want to go there anymore. Put a restraining order on West Virginia.

Jerry Jones vs. his fuck up

Hot Cowboys Offensive Assistant Coach Jason Garrett looked at the Falcons and Ravens job, talked to his good friend and owner of the Cowboys Jerry Jones, and decided to stay at Dallas making the most for any assistant coach, 3 mil, which is near what the Cowboys head coach Wade Wilson makes.

Here's the deal: Jerry Jones said no matter what happens in the playoffs, Wade Wilson will keep his job. Jones didn't want to look like a liar, so despite TO crying, he had to keep Wade Wilson as coach and probably promised Garrett, "Ay yo, next year, Wilson is gunna fuck up anyway so imma make you head coach in two years. Coo or naws?"

If Wade Wilson does not win the Super Bowl next year, he's gone. I called it.

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