I am back on the mainland. Back and completely jacked up body clock wise. I left Kauai at 10 PM Hawaiian time Friday night, 3 AM Saturday morning Chicago time. Had a absolutely inhumane 5 1/2 hour flight from Kauai to LA in the same plane I think that is used to transport prisoners to Guantanamo. Landed in LA at 5:30 Pacific Time, 7:30 Central. Had a one hour layover at LAX, then a 4 hour flight from LA to Chicago, finally landing in Chicago at 12:10 PM Saturday afternoon. No....sleep..whatsoever. Came home, went down for a nap at 3:00 PM, and woke up at 9:00 PM. I think I might be able to get back to sleep tonight, but we'll see. Who knows. All I knows is Jim Thome just hit a 700 foot home run to win it for my White Sox in the 15th inning and give them a 2 1/2 game over the Twins, so I'm happy.
I'm also happy because the NFL season starts for real tomorrow. Yes, we had that Thursday night shnorer between the Giants and Redskins on Thursday Night. About the only useful thing I gleaned out of the Giants 16-7 win was the assertion that I hope Jim Zorn's office furniture is rented.
What's going down tomorrow? I'll tell you.
BENGALS -1 1/2 AT RAVENS
My SI NFL preview only has one starting cornerback listed for the Ravens. That might present a problem in shutting down the Bengals vaunted wide receiver duo of TJ and Chad Cinco. Joey Flacco makes his first start for the Ravens, and against the Bengals' really bad defense, who knows, things might go OK. Both these teams are horrid. I think McGahee and Ray Rice can keep the Bengals offense off the field, so I take the Ravens.
RAVENS 20, BENGALS 17
JETS -3 AT DOLPHINS
I've got to either see Brett Favre or Bill Parcells succeed here? Pass. I'll take the Dolphins. I'm not buying all this Jets hoo ha. Their defense ranked 29th against the run last year. Brett Favre fixes that how?
DOLPHINS 23, JETS 20
CHIEFS AT PATROITS -15 1/2
Yeah this...this won't be pretty.
PATRIOTS 44, CHIEFS 13
TEXANS AT STEELERS -6 1/2
The Steelers always start the season like ass-kickers. Mike Tomlin will win a Super Bowl one day. Write that down.
STEELERS 30, TEXANS 7
JAGUARS -3 AT TITANS
Here's the best of the early games. I am 100% on board with the Jaguars this year, but remember last year the Titans and Jags opened up against each other, and Tennessee rolled up 282 rushing yards en route to a 13-10 win in Florida. I will totally disregard that, I still like the Jags here.
JAGUARS 23, TITANS 13
LIONS -3 AT FALCONS
Detroit was the only team to go undefeated in the preseason. Everyone predicts dire 2-14 type things for the Falcons this year. I actually don't think the Falcons will be all that bad. Their pass defense though, that will be bad. That's a problem against the Lions. Everyone will be wetting themselves over Matt Ryan after this game. Write that down too.
LIONS 33, FALCONS 31
SEAHAWKS AT BILLS -1
This is a nice little matchup. Seattle is ready to reprise their role as the kings of the NFC West dipshits this year, while Buffalo hopes to break thru and find their way to the playoffs for the first time since the Music City Miracle, which I guess if you are a Bills fan wasn't all that miraculous, but it was karmic payback for that Frank Reich comeback win over the Titans' direct ancestors the Houston Oilers back in that playoff game in the early 90s. I think I'm the first person to uncover that connection. Patent pending.
BILLS 17, SEAHAWKS 16
BUCS AT SAINTS -3
New Orleans has an explosive passing offense, but guess what, you can't throw on the Bucs.
BUCS 23, SAINTS 10
RAMS AT EAGLES -7 1/2
Everybody's horny for the Eagles this year. That's completely retarded. They will still win big in this game though, thus making everyone even more horny for them, until Dallas cleans their clocks on national TV next Sunday Night.
EAGLES 37, RAMS 20
So those be your early games. I'll be updating throughout the day tomorrow, and preview the late games sometime during that flurry of activity. Good night.