Sunday, July 12, 2009

Donovan and Beckham are bitches


So Landon "Bitchtits" Donovan decided to talk shit on Beckham in some new book that no one cares about saying Becks was a poor leader and that he gave up after one year full of injuries and the next year leading the team to not make the playoffs. By the way, that is all true. Becks ran to AC Milan, which makes sense because the Galaxy were sucking and he was still good. Plus you get to play next to Kaka, Ronaldinho, and Pato, so screw it, right? But then Becks started to cry, "I WANT TO STAY HERE I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO THE GALAXY." This is probably the proper idea, but the way he cried about it was kind of lame. This made Captain Crybaby Donovan cry in a book. And now Beckham, the example of a gentleman, responds to Donovan in the media:

"It's unprofessional," Beckham blasted on his return to the USA. "In 17 years, I have played with the biggest teams in the world and the biggest players and not once been criticised for my professionalism."


1) You just blasted Donovan for the same shit you just did with your blast;
2) You were professional in those other 17 years, but you were not professional towards the Galaxy when your loan was supposed to be up at AC Milan.

Look, I get it. The Galaxy is that girlfriend you need until you get a real girlfriend. Real Madrid was about to dump you, so you dumped her first to make her feel bad. Then you humped the Galaxy's brains out until you built enough self esteem to find a better girlfriend. I get it. And break ups aren't clean. So you bang AC Milan, and she wants you to move in but you can't because you have another mistress. So you come back to her and, even though it is your fault, you blame the Galaxy (or in this case, Donovan, but he's just verbalizing what everyone at the Galaxy feels). It's the oldest guy trick in the book. You always blame the person you cheated on for you cheating. It's cool. I get it.

Just be prepared to be shot and left in a hotel to die.

No comments: