From The Bard's Room- Exhibition Opener

The Sox' exhibition opener was yesterday against the Rockies, and it unfolded like the unhappy alternate ending to Wayne's World.

- Mark Buehrle started and gave up 4 runs on 6 hits in 2 innings. This caused me to go into my pantry and look at the Wheaties box from 2005 that has Buehrle on it. At the rate he is going, Buehrle has a better chance of starring in a movie about the life of Count Chocula than being on another Wheaties box in his lifetime.

- Jon Garland followed and picked up his teammate by taking the focus off of Buehrle, pitching twice as badly. Garland gave up 7 runs on 8 hits in two innings.

- Our next performer on this American Idol-esque parade of suck was Bobby Jenks, who walked a batter and then exited with shoulder tightness.

- Mike MacDougal replaced Jenks, with the way things were going for Sox pitchers on this day I kept waiting for him to have a stroke on the mound, but thankfully that did not happen.

The Sox lost 12-4. John Danks made his first appearance in a Sox uniform, and gave up 1 run in 2 innings.