Only 12 games today? They better be good. Oh yeah, the Patriots are playing the Cowboys. That's the only game we need.
(0-5) RAMS AT (3-2) RAVENS
The Rams' horrible defense should help the Ravens' struggling offense get back on track. Bulger, Jackson, and Orlando Pace all out again for the Rams as their season of woe continues.
Baltimore will win.
Unless Gus Frerotte can pull off one of his patented miracles the Rams will be 0-6. Baltimore dominating 13-0 at the half with Kyle Boller at QB.
Frerotte gets picked off 5 times, and the Ravens win 22-3.
(3-1) TITANS AT (3-2) BUCS
What malady will befall Earnest Graham today? He must feel like the Spinal Tap drummer. Meanwhile, it will be interesting to see whether Vince Young's horrible 3 INT performance last week was an aberration or the start of a trend.
Tampa will win.
Early in the third quarter its a defensive slugfest that has the Titans and Bucs tied at 3. Michael Clayton leads all receivers with 53 yards, which I guess is OK for someone who has a movie starring George Clooney out about him.
Vince Young exits wih an injury, and Jeff Garcia calmly takes Bucs down field in last minute to set up game winning Matt Bryant field goal. Bucs win 13-10. 97 yards and a TD for Joey Galloway.
(1-3) EAGLES AT (1-4) JETS
Andy Reid is 8-0 coming off a bye week, as he is this week, and he's also getting a lot of injured players back, including Brian Westbrook. The Eagles need this game or else they are finished.
Philly will win.
Now it's the Jets turn to wear goofy throwback uniforms that nobody remembers. They are using the magical powers of those unis to trail 10-6. Kevin Curtis has a 75 yard TD reception, and someone has woken Thomas Jones from his coma as he has rushed for 99 yards.
Eagles stop Jets on the 4 yard line late in the game. 156 yards from scrimmage for Brian Westbrook, and Philly wins 16-9.
(1-3) BENGALS AT (2-3) CHIEFS
The Bengals are another team fighting for survival today, and Arrowhead is a bad place to have to do that. They'll be without first round starting corner Johnathan Joseph, who is serving his Bengals initiation league suspension. Can LJ get it going against the league's worst defense? Will Dwayne Bowe continue to play like the rookie of the year?
KC will win.
LJ's rushed for 106 yards and a TD, Tony Gonzalez has 70 yards and a TD, and the Chiefs lead 20-7 as the buzzards circle around Marvin Lewis. 2 1/2 sacks in the first half for KC's Jared Allen.
The Bengals mount a comeback late in the game, but neither it nor TJ Houshmandzadeh's 145 yards and a TD are enough. KC wins 24-20 and the Bengals are 1-4.
(3-2) TEXANS AT (3-1) JAGUARS
The 2nd place team in the AFC South is probably going to the playoffs this year, and this game will be a critical factor in deciding who that will be. Houston's been struggling after a 2-0 start, while Jacksonville is coming off road wins at Denver and KC.
Jacksonville will win.
Fred Taylor's rushed for 83 yards and the Jags lead 10-6. The Texans had a Schaub to Andre Davis TD reversed into a fumble and a touchback by replay.
MJD is back in a big way. He has 184 yards from scrimmage and 2 TDs. Jacksonville rolls 37-17. Houston's lost 3 out of their last 4.
(3-1) REDSKINS AT (4-1) PACKERS
ESPN keeps telling me the Packers are leaking oil. That must be the cool new thing to say. Something's wrong with my car too, the "SERVICE ENGINE SOON" light went on. Time to sell my other kidney.
Washington will win.
Jason Campbell's run for a TD and thrown another to Chris Cooley, Skins lead 14-7. Cooley is becoming the latest tight end to victimize GB's defense, he has 7 catches for 97 yards.
Packers D comes up with some big stops in the second half, and Charles Woodson scoops up a Santana Moss fumble for what proves to be the game winning score as Packers win 17-14.
(0-5) DOLPHINS AT (2-3) BROWNS
Call me now! Cleo Lemon starts at QB for the concussed Trent Green. Everyone's falling all over themselves to pick up Cleveland's backup running back Jason Wright as a write this, because Jamal Lewis is out.
Cleveland will win.
The Browns are dominating. I bet that's the first time I've ever written that. Braylon Edwards, Jason Wright, and Derek Anderson have scores and Cleveland leads 27-10.
Dolphins pull within a field goal in the second half, but then Browns pull away again, cruising to 41-31 win. 3 TDs for Braylon Edwards. Cleo Lemon plays pretty well for Miami, throwing for 2 scores and running for 2 more.
(1-3) VIKINGS AT (2-3) BEARS
The Bears roused themselves in the second half to save their season at Green Bay last week. The Vikings will need to get an upset on the road this week or else their season is over. My super duper computer ranking system says the Vikings are actually one of the best teams in the league. I'm pretty sure their QB situation is the reason they haven't played like one.
Minnesota will win.
A surprisingly exciting game is tied 14-14 at the half. Devin Hester has yet another punt return TD, but Adrian Peterson and Troy Williamson have both broken big plays for TDs to keep the Vikings right there. LB EJ Henderson laid about the biggest hit I've seen this season on Bears FB Jason McKie on the last play of the half.
A crazy game ends on a 55 yard Ryan Longwell field goal, giving the Vikings a 34-31 win. The game looked over with just over 4 minutes left when Adrian Peterson's 3rd TD of the game put Minnesota up 31-17. The Bears came back though, and an 81 yard Griese to Devin Hester pass tied it up at 31. Peterson then ripped a long return on the ensuing kickoff, and Longwell hit the long distance field goal to win the game. Peterson and Chester Taylor combine for 327 rushing yards.
(3-2) PANTHERS AT (3-2) CARDINALS
Kurt Warner and Vinny Testaverde are the starting QBs in a game between two teams who are playoff contenders. My most vivid memory of Vinny Testaverde was when I saw him standing outside Dick's Supermarket in Platteville WI in 1994 holding 2 bags of groceries.
Arizona will win.
We're actually late in the 3rd quarter. Kurt Warner has left with an injury, and Tim Rattay, who signed with the Cards earlier this week is on at QB. Carolina leads 9-7 on 3 Jon Kasay field goals. Vinny is 13 of 21 for 83 yards.
Steve Smith catches 10 passes for 136 yards...from Vinny Testaverde. D'Angelo Williams runs for 121 yards and the Panthers win 25-10. So help me God they pulled Vinny Testaverde off the street to be their starting QB and looked better than they have all year.
(5-0) PATRIOTS AT (5-0) COWBOYS
This is it. Whip out your nipples and start rubbing them. This is your battle of Moggedo. Until the Colts and Pats play later this year.
New England will win.
Tom Brady has 3 TD passes, 2 to Wes Welker, but the Cowboys have answered with a touchdown off a sack and fumble, and a Romo to TO pass and are right there at the half, trailing 21-17.
Dallas actually took the lead early in the 3rd quarter on a Romo to Crayton pass, but that just seemed to make the Pats angry, as they outscore the Cowboys 27-3 after that to roll to a 48-27 win. 388 yards and 5 TDs for Tom Brady, while Donte Stallworth and Wes Welker combine for 260 receiving yards and 3 scores.
(2-2) RAIDERS AT (2-3) CHARGERS
The Chargers went all Lord Voldemort in Goblet of Fire by resurrecting themselves and destroying the Broncos at Mile High this week. This week they meet the AFC West leading Raiders, who should be a little worried.
SD will win.
LT is back. 105 rushing yards and 3 TDs. San Diego leads 21-7.
Tomlinson finishes with 198 yards and 4 TDS on the ground, and the Chargers easily handle the Raiders 28-14. 2 1/2 sacks for Shawne Merriman as Culpepper goes down 6 times.
(0-4) SAINTS AT (3-2) SEAHAWKS
I see here on NFL.com that the key matchup is Reggie Bush against Shaun Alexander. Just how are they matching up. Is one going to be glowering from the sideline when the other is on the field?
Seattle will win.
The Saints ambushed the Seahawks by taking a 28-7 lead and never looked back. Reggie Bush had 141 yards from scrimmage and David Patten had 8 catches for 113 yards as the Saints get their first win of the season, 28-17.
(3-2) GIANTS AT (1-4) FALCONS
Bobby Petrino and Cameron Cameron are in a heated contest to see who can have the more completely disastrous first year as head coach. Petrino's players hate him and Cameron almost got Trent Green killed dead. The Falcons don't know who their starting QB will be, and they are starting a hobo at left tackle.
NYG will win.