Wednesday, June 24, 2009


To Oli Porter:

me: usa wins over spain
i called it

DAMN DID I CALL IT. I was listening to Colin Cowherd about how this caller said USA was close to being relevant in the world soccer stage to which Cowherd proceeded to rip this guy saying Brazil beat us 3-0 and it should have been 7-0. Obviously he wasn't watching this game because USA hit the post 3 times at the end of the game. So I sent This bitch an email after USA qualified when they beat Egypt 3-0:

USA advanced over the #4 team in the world, Italy. Since you're never wrong, let's wait for your next excuse...

Then today happened and the gamecast guy was like this in the beginning:

0' It really does seem unlikely that the US will be able to resist. Rather like France after they won the World Cup in 1998, Spain have gone on something of a tear, and look close to unstopabble, although they remain a little dodgy at the back - Pique is slow and Puyol a liability.

I'm like whatta bitch. But he started to see what I saw:


27' Well isn't that a turn up for the books. Well not really, as USA have made the clearer chances so far. Anyway, Dempsey fed it in to Ailtdore, who showed great strength to turn and fend off Xavi, before doing Casillas with his eyes, sending the ball to his right and in off the post, while the keeper went left, although he did manage a touch.

That's right, Colin. USA WITH THE CLEARER CHANCES ON THE #1 TEAM, 16-0 in the last 16, hottest team in the world right now. BUT IT DIDN'T STOP THERE:


74' Great play by Dempsey, hanging onto the ball until Donovan is ready to receive, Donovan's cross is decent, but Ramos, instead of belting it away, takes a touch. His touch is rubbish, and Dempsey is on hand to slide the ball in, with Casillas nowhere near, having dived to cut out the cross. Well well well.

WELL WELL WELL COLIN COWSUCK. WHAT HAPPENED MAN? USA WAS NOT EVEN CLOSE? AHAHAHHAH IDIOT. And while Cowherd isn't man enough to eat crow, this Gamecaster was:

88' I don't think I've eaten my words yet so I'll do so now - the US boys have made me look very silly.

SILLY INDEED. At least he admits it. But you know Cowherd will be like, THAT SHIT WAS LUCK, DAWG. ANYONE CAN WIN IN ANY GIVEN DAY LUCKILY. Oh yeah?

93' Well who predicted that one then? Still in the competition only by virtue of a 6-goal swing in the final group game, the US have thoroughly deserved their win tonight. They broke sharply, worked hard and were superb at the back. Coupled with a below-par show from Spain, that was more than enough to give them the win.

Eat fucking shit.


Nick Pomazak said...

UNBELIEVABLE!!! US vs. Brazil in the final how tits will that be?

Oli Porter said...

I hate to burst your bubble guys but Confederations Cup = glorified friendlys ;)

On a plus note; Setanta has been replaced by ESPN America for free in the UK :D Looking forward to watching some baseball tonight.