Red Hot Wet Preseason Action- Week 1 Cont.

I had my Bachelor Party on Saturday. I am now struggling with what I am pretty sure is brain damage. So this should be an awesome post.



STEELERS 16, EAGLES 10

Charlie Batch broke his collarbone, which seems to happen a lot to that guy. He may need to start drinking more Malk. Other than that calamity though, things went well for the Steelers. The first offense clicked pretty nicely, with Willie Parker rushing 3 times for 20 yards, and Gentle Ben completing both of his pass attempts for 38 yards and a TD to Santonio Holmes.

McNabb was 10 of 13 with a TD pass for the Eagles, while second round pick DeSean Jackson had an impressive debut with 5 catches for 51 yards.

FIRST ROUND PICK WATCH

The Steelers drafted former Illini running back Rashard Mendenhall to be Parker's tag team partner, and Mendenhall did very nicely in this game, with 7 carries for 34 yards.

Philly didn't need no stinkin first round draft pick.

SEAHAWKS 34, VIKINGS 17

Good thing the Seahawks weren't playing the Twins. Nobody beats the Piranias in the Metrodome! Punto my Bunto! Barf. They make me sick.

Chanukkah Wallace threw 3 TD passes for the Hawks. He's lucky that Kevin Slowey wasn't out there for Minnesota, nobody scores on him. Maurice Morris rocked shit against what was the best run defense in the league last year, carrying 6 times for 62 yards. Hasselbeck went 7 of 8 with a TD pass.

Come to think of it, the Vikings just got their asses lit up in this game. Maybe they were sad that they didn't get Brett Favre after all. Adrian Peterson didn't touch the ball though, so don't panic yet.

FIRST ROUND PICK WATCH

Seattle grabbed USC DE Lawrence Jackson late in the first round, and he made an immediate Preseason impact. He had 3 tackles, a sack, and a forced fumble in this game. I'm loving the way the Seahawks added another pass rusher to add to what was already a team strength, they get a fish biscuit.

RAIDERS 18, NINERS 6

JaMarcus Russell continues to not impress, as he lit up the Niners for 2 completions in 5 attempts for 13 yards. Right now he's got "B", another bad year and he gets "U". 2 more years, and he's Alex Smith.

Speaking of terrible 49er quarterbacks, Smith, JT O'Sullivan, and Shawn Hill all are "competing", with the "winner" getting to play "quarterback" for the Niners. They all played bad, and will continue to play bad for the forseeable future.

FIRST ROUND PICK WATCH

The only redeeming quality of this game was that it was our first look at Darren McFadden in an NFL uniform. He had 12 carries for 48 yards. Too soon to tell if he's Adrian Peterson or if he's Reggie Bush.

The Niners picked late in the first round even though they were terrible last year, probably because of some retarded trade they made, and got N. Carolina DE Kentwan Balmer. Balmer had 1 tackle.

I'll hit you back with the rest of the Week 1 action either tonight or tomorrow. I gots to, because Week 2 starts tomorrow night!