Step 1: Say you don't want to lose the slowest player on your team no matter what.
Step 2: Overvalue him and if the overspending club won't buy, say you didn't want to lose him anyway.
Step 3: Repeat Step 2 until the end of the transfer period.
Step 4: Sell said slowest player on your club.
Step 5: Just as you sell the player, buy a better, faster player for less.
How hilarious was it to see Liverpool boss Rafa Benitez play possum like he REALLY REALLY needed Xabi "SLOW AS FUCK" Alonzo until Real Madrid believed the hype. This was like American Eagle selling their Made in Vietnam shirt with shitty ass fonts, having some ripped dudes with frosted hair wear these retarded clothes, and then say these shirts are worth $50. Eventually, you have all these teen assholes pulling out school loans to buy these clothes. Real Madrid was like, damn, Rafa wants this guy so bad he MUST be worth 34 mil. Just pay the man. I wonder how Real Madrid Galactico Spender Perez felt just as he gives the money to Rafa, Rafa confirms the money transfer call to his accounts in the Bahamas, and then gives the signal to get a faster, better player from Roma.
Look, Real Madrid is one of my three favorite clubs. C.Ronaldo was the right price. Kaka was the right price. Benzema was the right price. Just stop there. No, you had to be fucking greedy and get some Spaniards on the team for the sake of getting Spaniards. Now you're stuck with the slowest person working for Liverpool besides the waterboy. People arguing that La Liga is now the best league because it has all the talent, except the final four in Champions League was Arsenal, Chelsea, Man U, and Barcelona. Last I checked that's three out of four teams from EPL. Eat shit again.