World Cup Round of 16 Monday, Tuesday

NETHERLANDS 2, SLOVAKIA 1
Something said in the waning moments of the match broadcast stuck with me, and that's that Holland played down to the level of its competition, which can happen in this tournament. Well, OK. Slovakia got to the round of 16 largely on the strength of defeating the ghost of the Italy team, and really didn't have much of a chance here, although they kept it close and got a PK goal on the last kick of the match. Arjen Robben scored in the 18th minute and that was pretty much that for a plodding Slovakia side. Robben played a great match, but Holland is going to need more in the quarterfinals if they're going to ditch their long and storied history of going out with a whimper in the knockout stage.




BRAZIL 3, CHILE 0
Up until this match, Brazil had been like that little Yakuza guy in the Simpsons pretzel episode, the one who stands there during the big gang brawl with his arms folded, and Homer says, "I'm waiting for him to do something and you just know when he does something it's going to awesome", or something like that. Well, Brazil finally unleashed the fury in this match. Good thing too, I was starting to doubt them, I even had a a feeling that Chile just might shock the world here. Good thing I didn't write that in the blog. Robinho, who just might dupe another Premier League club into paying him an insane amount of money again, was the star of this match. After Juan converted off a corner to make it 1-0 in the 34th minute, the former Man City disaster teamed up with Kaka to set up a Luis Fabiano goal, and then scored a very picturesque goal of his own for the final score of the match.

QUARTERFINAL MATCHUP
Brazil v. Netherlands- This should be a stern test for Brazil, because the Dutch are nothing if not stern. Judging by these Round of 16 matches though, Brazil has found a gear that Holland just doesn't have. Brazil wins 3-1.



PARAGUAY 0, JAPAN 0 (PARAGUAY WINS ON PKS 5-3)
I call this the "lambs being led to the slaughter match". Really nothing was on the line here other than the right to say you made the quarterfinals, as the winner moves on to face the Spain/Portugal winner, and meet almost certain doom. Japan had a guy who has never scored a goal for them take a PK, and he hit one flush against the crossbar to lose the match. A reason you should root for Paraguay, the chick in the picture above says she will get naked and run thru the streets of Asuncion if Paraguay wins the World Cup.




SPAIN 1, PORTUGAL 0
The cool thing in this World Cup is to play like shit then walk off the pitch after a disappointing result and either yell or spit at the camera. All the big stars are doing it, Wayne Rooney, Cristiano Ronaldo, everybody. Portugal had a really bad tournament, they beat N. Korea 7-0, but didn't manage a goal against anybody else. This match was more entertaining than the score indicated, but the only goal came on a rebound hammered home by David Villa, with the obligatory 4 defensive players holding up their hands and looking at the ref to try to get an offside while the ball was still in play. Here's a soccer question, is there ever a goal scored where there aren't at least 3 defensive players standing around holding one hand up and looking at the referee and each other claiming the scorer was offsides? Like one maybe?

QUARTERFINAL MATCHUP
Spain v. Paraguay- Paraguay is the kind of team that can frustrate a team like Spain. I think Spain advances, but it's going to be an ugly 1-0 slog.