Monday, December 17, 2007

Patrick N NFL Rankings

Season is almost over. My bad. Better late then never.

1PatriotsSaying these guys are barely winning is like saying I barely put my penis in your mom.
2PackersBret Farve is breaking all these records shitting on anything Dan Marino ever had the justified him being in the Hall of Fame.
3ColtsColts quietly owning while having an injury list longer than the Mitchell Report.
4CowboysPeople makin' a big shit about Romo bringing his trophy chick to the game, but the same people have ugly girlfriends and wives.
5JaguarsSaved by a bullshit call kinda like saved by pulling out.
6ChargersLet LT run the ball and drop short passes to Antonio Gates. See, how fucking hard was that?
7BucsGruden was lucky Bucs owner Malcolm Glazer owns the best team in the soccer world right now, Manchester United so Gruden can wait for a shitty conference and an Ohio State schedule.
8SteelersI guarentee that guy that makes guarentees will not be playing for the Steelers. That dude fucked up their whole season.
9BrownsHAHAHA Browns are 9-5 what the fuck?
10VikingsAdrian Peterson showin' everyone how to back up a starter: become one.
11GiantsThis team is like a chick except the period comes 2 weeks early.
12SeahawksBooted in the first round, why bother.
13TitansIf Offensive Coordinator Norm Chow takes the UCLA head coaching job, Vince Young is fucked.
14RedskinsEven with everything they've gone through, from a player dying to a senile head coach, they still play like they have a big dick.
15SaintsIf these assholes make the playoffs, I'm uninstalling NFL 2008 off my cell phone.
16BillsI don't know one player on this team. Does that make them hard to scout or naws.
17BearsIt's pretty sad when your best offensive threat is kick returns.
18EaglesMcNabb taunting TO doing TO's celebration forgetting that he's not making the playoffs while TO is. Stupid fuck.
19TexansMario Williams is better than Reggie Bush and Vince Young. Fine, I said it. Fuck you, you have SARS.
20CardinalsThese guys were what we thought they were: shit. And we still let them off the damn hook.
21LionsWhat happened to 10 wins? Jon Kitna + HD = same feeling as getting raped by three men.
22BroncosLike the South Park guy said, Jay Cutler sucks ass, but maybe one day he'll be good.
23BengalsCarson Palmer is the next Boomer Esiason except Boomer made the Super Bowl.
24PanthersI'm so glad this team sucks my cock because Deshaun Foster stole my brother's hat in high school. WHO GOT THE LAST LAUGH BITCH.
25RaidersVince Young will have the same career as Culpepper and McNair: a shitty one.
26RamsThis show on turf just got cancelled. Start over already.
27ChiefsHerman Edwards is exactly like Tony Dungy except for the winning part.
2849ersPlease let Alex Smith go so he can join the Bears and be another overhyped Bears QB failure.
29JetsNext excuse?
30FalconsIf Cam Cameron can stay on the Dolphins, Bobby Petrino should have the balls to stick it out with the Falcons. Puss.
31DolphinsThe dream is dead. Fucking bullshit. I was so mad that in the ESPN Zone at I was yelling at the monitor and the people around me looked at me like I was some kind of dick because the Dolphins were crying like they just won the Super Bowl. I'm sorry, but in a league that's perfected parity, if you go 1-15, you should just uninstall your life.
32RavensFuck the Ravens. Fuck them. Anyone on this team should stick to anal for safe sex so they never reproduce. Billick can't cry about shit now. You lost to an 0-14 team. That makes you a piece of shit.


Oli said...

What were you smoking when you put the bears that high??????

Patrick N said...

I was smoking "all the teams equally suck after top 10." hahaaha HI OLI NEWCASTLE SUCKS YOU WERE RIGHT MY BAD TERRIBLE COACH -Patrick