Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Patrick N Soccer Ratings

1Manchester United (12-2-3) Premier LeagueCristiano Ronaldo, after getting third place in the fifa world player voting, said he wants to go to La Liga probably thinking he'll get a better shot at the world player award. Spain does have the best competition. Ronaldo really wants to leave because Tevez is even too ugly to be a good wingman.
2Inter Milan (12-0-4) Serie ALMFAO Adriano was voted piece of shit of the year by Italian Press. Straight up undefeated in their own league and only one loss in Champions League tables (5-1-0). That's some bullshit right there.
3Arsenal (12-1-4) Premier LeagueFabregas decided to be a little bitch and trip a Chelsea guy up. Then when Fabregas got pushed in the neck like "Get off me bitch!" he decided to play the stereotypical overacting in soccer. Too bad in Premier League the refs just laugh.
4Barcelona (10-2-4) La LigaI been playing shitty ass Fifa 08 and in my 6th season, Mexican Dos Santos is a 97/100 player. Feel free to dump Ronaldinho to Chelsea now.
5Real Madrid (12-2-3) La LigaRobinho is now a father and when his kid started to cry, Robinho found his kid was just done doing some stepovers and flopped.
6Bayern Munich (10-1-6) BundesligaPeople who say that money does not solve problems just doesn't know how to use it. The other day I used it to buy HGH because I needed to heal faster from my stubbed toe.
7FC Porto (10-0-2) Portuguese LigaPorto is on this list for the same reason Ohio State is in the College Football National Title game.
8Roma (9-1-6) Serie ARoma is straight up gangster stabbing five Man U fans. The match didn't even matter and shit. Word life. Expect Roma to play in an empty stadium for awhile.
9Juventus (9-2-5) Serie ARegulated to 2nd Division, stripped of titles, and lost a bunch of 90/100 Fifa 08-type players for cheating and still they kick ass. I seriously want to wear their jersey and put Beckham's name on the back with the front of the jersey saying, "Cheated and still owning."
10Lyon (12-2-3) Premier LeagueA different coach every three years and still owns. I tried that with chicks and got the clap.

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