Let's get ready for some...

MMA! Alright, I know we talk about types of sports that kick balls here. So I'm going to talk quickly about a sport that kicks people's balls: UFC!

I'll be watching BJ Penn vs George St. Pierre. This battle is epic because it pits the laziest, most awesomely natural fighter in BJ Penn against a hardworking GSP training at the hardest, currently most successful MMA group in the Jackson Camp. I am pulling for BJ Penn to win because I am lazy and naturally talented. CHECK OUT THE PROMO:



BJ Penn: George, I'm going to kill you, and I'm not joking about this.

DUDE, SAMOAN GOING TO THROW DOWN.

Alright, I'm done.

Okay, just kidding. One more, Lyoto Machida vs Thiago Silva is going to be hilarious if you know how to watch it. You know how when you first watch soccer you're like wow how stupid all they do is kick the ball around no shots on goal blah blah. Watching Lyoto Machida is the same thing. He's REALLY REALLY boring if you don't know how to watch him. But if you come with the mindset that Machida is the career killer, then he is the most hilarious fighter in the world. The way he basically fights is he kicks you from far away and dodges for 99% of the round. Then in the last 30 seconds or so he turns it on and steals the round. It is funny to see him get the best fighters mad by running. Silva is a sick fighter, so this will be fun.

Kaka Ordeal

I was going to write a long article about this, but I'll just get to it. Get your money. Fuck loyalty. Loyalty, especially in sports, is bullshit. If a team offers you a ridiculous amount of money for ONE PLAYER, you take it. If a team offers you 600k a week, you take it. Ronaldinho went through the same thing. Barca was offered about 75 mil, and Ronaldinho was offered 300k a week and they both said no. Loyalty blah blah guess what? Exactly a year later, Barca sells Ronaldinho for 6.5 mil and Ronaldinho gets no payday. TAKE YOUR MONEY. The crazy cash cow only comes once.

Chelsea vs. Liverpool

I've joined a Chelsea group here in the OC. So Sunday at 7am, I'm going to be with a bunch of Chelsea fans singing and cheering for Liverpool to eat cock. OLI PORTER. EAT COCK. DO IT. WE WIN. Man U probably will win the Premiership, but SCREW IT. Now some may say, "BUT PATRICK HEHE CHELSEA HAS BEEN SUCKING ASS LATELY." Yeah? Well, even a broken watch is right twice a day.

I Guess I Should Talk About the Superbowl

As an example of how bad the times are, Superbowl ads sold for a record $206 mil. topping the list of advertisements is cash4gold.com. HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA NFL is trying to tell me this is a good thing, but don't piss on my back and tell me it's rain.

Alright, Seriously

I'm not going to go super in-depth on each team because that's what other sites are for. I'm here to tell you who will win. Every time I've picked Arizona, I've been right. Every other team I've been wrong. I've been 50% on picking games during the playoffs, and I told you motherfuckers I'm 60%. Who will Patrick N curse for the Superbowl?

The Pitty Steelers will win the Superbowl. They are more healthy. They have a great secondary to beat up Fitzgerald. I just don't feel it this time for Arizona. A rough and tough mean team vs. a finesse team. Rough wins.

GO ARIZONA.