Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The fan that said Raiders are better than Chargers is 100% right


I love the Raiders. They have a rich tradition like fucking over running backs, being a safehaven for retarded people and people that aren't allowed to vote anymore because they're felons, and Al Davis. So when this Raiders fan went on Jim Rome's show after the Chargers loss saying, "CHARGERS SUCK; RAIDERS RULE...once Al Davis dies...and we get a new O...and D...and coach...and quarterback," this fan is 100% right. Here's how all this fan's claims are 100% true:

Chargers suck:

They fire Marty Shotty because he gets an awesome regular season record and loses in the playoffs. Then they put in Norv "Jerry Rice said I was the worst coach he's ever played for" Turner where he barely makes the playoffs his first few years but is a "success" because he wins one playoff game a year. Then he has his best year ever and chokes in the playoffs exactly like Marty did, but this asshole gets a three year deal. Eventually, you gotta let Gay Leno go.

Raiders rule:

Amendment 1: Once Al Davis dies

You know your fan base are FUCKED UP CONVICTS when they believe the best thing for their team, and the team you own, is for YOU TO DIE. But there you go. The truth is not wrong. If Al Davis dies, the team moves Anaheim where they rename them the Oakland Mighty Raiders of Anaheim and you get poor and rich people supporting the team. win/win

Amendment 2, 3, 4: New O, D, and coach

Having a new team is better than having a team that sucked. Basic logic here.

Amendment 5: New QB

Jamarcus Russell. Talk about the modern day Ryan Leaf. With a new QB, you avoid letting this abortion throw the ball ever again. You can get a better QB than this guy anywhere, like the forest where a squirrel may help them out or a raccoon. You can even eat corn, lettuce, cucumber, broccoli, laxatives, and rabbit shit, take a big dump, put a Raiders helmet and the tuck rule on that bad boy and call it square.

2 comments:

Nick Pomazak said...

Don't underestimate the power of the owner dying....all it took here in Chi was for Bill Wirtz to die and now everyone is totally gay for the Blackhawks like they were the Cubs on ice skates or something..

Patrick N said...

my friend has been a blackhawks friend since he was a kid and now hates being a fan because all these people wear gear only the year they start winning :/