Saturday, September 15, 2007

Greatest Day In the History of Our Sport- Week 2

Here's why every game tomorrow rules.

(0-1) JETS AT (0-1) RAVENS
Vegas Says: Ravens win 21 1/2 to 11 1/2

This game is awesome because:
One team's starting quarterback is not playing and the other is "iffy" (Steve McNair's status according to Yahoo Sports). So you could very well have 2 teams that were both in the playoffs last year relying on a backup QB to keep them from the kiss-of-death 0-2 start. Everyone is already drawing paralells between Kellen Clemens in 2007 and Tom Brady in 2001 (untested 2nd year QBs taking over for much-maligned injured veterans in Week 2). I'm not drawing parallels, I prefer drawing transparent cubes.

My pick: Jets +10


(1-0) PANTHERS AT (1-0) TEXANS
Vegas Says: Panthers win 22 1/2 to 16

This game is awesome because:
I've never seen a game where a player who does not even get in the game is booed as mercilessly as new Panthers backup QB David Carr will probably be booed in Houston tomorrow.

My pick: Texans +6 1/2

(0-1) CHIEFS AT (0-1) BEARS
Vegas Says: Bears win 23-11

This game is awesome because:
Bears fans will feel silly booing Rex Grossman once they get a load of Damon Huard.

My pick: Bears -12

(1-0) BENGALS AT (0-1) BROWNS
Vegas Says: Bengals 24-17

This game is awesome because:
If Browns QB Derek Anderson doesn't play good on the first series of the game, he will not only be benched but also traded the next day. Possibly incarcerated. This is also THE game of the year if you like orange helmets.

My pick: Bengals -7

(1-0) COWBOYS AT (0-1) DOLPHINS
Vegas Says: Cowboys 20 1/2-17

This game is awesome because:
The burning question of whether the perceived top team in the NFC can beat a lower middle class AFC team will be answered.

My pick: Dolphins +3 1/2

(0-1) RAIDERS AT (1-0) BRONCOS
Vegas Says: Broncos 24-14

This game is awesome because:
You never know who is going to be playing QB for the Raiders. They switch in and out without warning like Villano IV and V. Also, Jay Cutler is now apparently the new John Elway.

My pick: Broncos -10

(1-0) VIKINGS AT (1-0) LIONS
Vegas Says: Lions 23-20

This game is awesome because:
One of these downtrodden franchises is going to be 2-0 and atop the NFC North on Monday morning. Not only that, but Adrian Peterson and Calvin Johnson are both playing.

My pick: Vikings +3

(1-0) COLTS AT (1-0) TITANS
Vegas Says: Colts 26-19

This game is awesome because:
The Colts have lost 3 in a row against teams in their own division if you can believe that. The Titans last week looked as if they are going to prove me right and everyone else wrong by building on last year's success, while the Colts made the preseason darling Saints look like Louisiana-Monroe.

My pick: Titans +7

(0-1) FALCONS AT (0-1) JAGUARS
Vegas Says: Jags 22-12

TGIAB:
MoJo and Fred Taylor are going to combine for 350 yards rushing and 5 TDs tomorrow, so you won't want to miss that. I think that should guarantee a 2-0 start for my Texas Beltbuckles.

My pick: Jaguars -10

(1-0) CHARGERS AT (1-0) PATRIOTS
Vegas Says: Patriots 25-21 1/2

TGIAB:
Actually, I can't really find anything good to say about this clunker of a matchup. You may want to watch Ace of Cakes tomorrow night instead. Not. That is an example of a "not" joke. This suit is black not.

My pick: Patriots -3 1/2

(0-1) SAINTS AT (0-1) BUCS
Vegas Says: Saints 22 1/2-19

TGIAB:
The Saints are under suspicion. That's all I'm gonna say. Also, the fact that this Bucs team is at least as bad as any of the pre-Tony Dungy suck squads were should brign back some mirthful memories of men in tangerine pants getting their brains beat in.

My pick: Saints - 3 1/2


(1-0) PACKERS AT (0-1) GIANTS
Vegas Says: Giants 20 1/2-18

TGIAB:
Brett Favre and Michael Strahan may start making out with each other. That will make Warren Sapp soooo jealous.

My pick: Packers + 2 1/2

(0-1) BILLS AT (1-0) STEELERS
Vegas Says: Steelers 24-14

TGIAB:
The line has jumped 1 1/2 points in favor of the Steelers over the course of this week, so I think the fix may be in.

My pick: Bills +10

(1-0) SEAHAWKS AT (0-1) CARDINALS
Vegas Says: Seahawks 23-20

TGIAB:
Mike Holmgren goes to church every Sunday and lights a candle thanking God for moving his team from the AFC West to the NFC West all those years ago. That and it really is a joy to watch the regression of Matt Leinart.

My pick: Cardinals +3

(1-0) NINERS AT (0-1) RAMS
Vegas Says: Rams 24-21

TGIAB:
In theory this game features 2 of the best running backs in the league in Frank Gore and Steven Jackson. I hope nobody reading this column drafted either of those guys on their fantasy teams though, because if you did, you are probably 0-1.

My pick: Niners +3


So there it is. That's why tomorrow is going to be the greatest day in the history of our sport. I'll be posting my thoughts throughout the day tomorrow as the action unfolds, and will be hitting you with my 3 and out recaps during the week.

1 comment:

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