Monday, September 10, 2007

Three And Out- Week One


1. ESPN needs to quit it with this season opening MNF double header stuff they've been doing the last few years. The early game is halfway over by the time I get home from work, and the late game is in the first quarter when I go to bed. So instead of seeing 2 games, I'm really seeing zero games. Maybe 1/2 a game. Please just give me 1 fucking game that takes place at some time when I can actually watch it.

2. Matt Leinart's 102 yards passing and 35 yards rushing reminded me of Michael Vick. He's re-defining the QB position.

3. I think ESPN should phase out Chris Berman and phase in Mike Greenberg as the main voice of their NFL coverage. What little I heard of him doing play by play in this game was pretty good, and anything that will get Chris Berman off my TV screen I'm all in favor of.


1. Watching the final few plays of this game, it was painfully clear to me that Todd Heap didn't work hard enough this offseason on catching balls that are thrown at 90 miles an hour right at his face from 4 inches away. He must not have the passion and the fire.

2. The Ravens might be looking at having Steve McNair, Jonathan Ogden, and Ray Lewis all out (Ogden) or playing hurt (McNair and Lewis) this week when they take on the Jets. If I were the Ravens, given their injury situation I think it might help them if they spied on the Jets play calling, because that seemed to work really well for the Patriots last week.

3. What got into the Bengals defense in this game? They seem to have picked up a freewheeling, playmaking style of play that they probably picked up in prison.


1. I think we should all take a step back and note that the Cowboys gave up 35 points to a team who had someone namd Deric Ward as their feature back for most of the game. I don't care how many points they put up or how good Tony Romo was, the Cowboys have a lot to feel bad about after this game.

2. Eli Manning's taking snaps in practice reportedly. If both he and Jacobs are out for an extended time, and with this Giants defense as bad as it is, hoo boy.

3. If Eli can't go, Jared Lorenzen becomes the Giants starter. As a sign of how much faith they have in this alternate plan, the Giants are now reportedly pursuing the spleenless Chris Simms.


1. I didn't think the Seahawks were any good headed into this game and I still don't. They got dominated for most of the first half by a really bad team.

2. That really bad team would be the Bucs. If Jon Gruden was living in a Potowatomi Indian hut, he'd be the one sleeping closest to the door. Because he's on his way out.

3. Cadillac Williams hurt his ribs in this game, and that injury should probably plague him the whole season. If you like having running backs from really bad offenses on your fantasy team, and who doesn't, maybe you should pick up Michael Pittman's wife beating azz now that Carnell is up on cinder blocks.


1. The Chicago Tribune reported today that Chargers linebacker coach and former Bears D coordinator Ron Rivera prepped his new team for this game by telling them that Bears QB Rex Grossman was "a mental midget" and that they could get inside of his head. Ron Rivera, you my hero.

2. The Bears had 2 defensive starters (safety Mike Brown and DT Dusty Dvoracek) riding off the field, never to be seen again this year, on the same cart.

3. It's items like #2 that re-inforce why next year is promised to nobody in this league. Few teams looked like as much of a lock to make the playoffs this year as the Bears. Now, all of a sudden they lose 1/5 of their starting defense in one shot.


1. I don't know that you can really glean any knowledge whatsoever from this game. This looked to me like 2 bad teams.

2. Case in point, Oakland's offense looked much better than expected, but is that because Detroit's defense is terrible? Probably.

3. The Lions and Vikings meet next week, and one of them is going to be off to a 2-0 start. I don't think anyone expected that. The only thing I think that can happen that less people would have expected is if they both start 1-0-1. If you predicted that, you're a God.


1. Hi, I'm Herm Edwards. I run NFL franchises right into the fucking ground.

2. I've got the over under set at Week 5 for the time when LJ realizes he'd be stupid to waste the priceless commodity of a productive season as an NFL running back by carrying the ball 200+ times for this suck squad, and comes up with some sort of injury that will keep him out most of the rest of the year.

3. Just you watch the Texans become a very competitive team now that they've finally cut the cord to David Carr. It's three years overdue. It's like the story of the hippo.


1. Muffing two punts in your own territory like the Eagles did in this game is terrible, they basically handed the Packers 10 points.

2. Not that the Packers were much if at all better. Take away those two gifts and they lose 13-6. They didn't win this game nearly as much as the Eagles lost it. Green Bay couldn't even crack 3 yards per carry. We saw in 2005 what happens to this team when they can't run the ball, and it's ugly.

3. Donovan McNabb had a bad game against a good defense. The Eagles are at home on Monday Night next week, and he better be much better or else he's gonna get BOOOOOOOOOOED.


1. I've seen it written in other places that there's a "triumvirate of power" atop the league right now, the Patriots, Chargers, and Colts. I'm not so sure that it's not a parallelogram. The Steelers are a year removed from winning a Super Bowl, they played well at the end of last season, and they have an explosive offense and defense.

2. Someone get Romeo Crennel a blindfold and a cigarette.

3. The Browns look awful now, but keep in mind the Titans looked just as bad at the beginning of last season. Then they ended the charade of Vince Young "learning" on the bench, put him into the lineup, and by the end of the season things had gotten a lot better. The Browns should follow the same script with Brady Quinn.


1. The Vikings ranked second in the league in turnover margin in the preseason, and that carried over to the regular season as they scored 2 defensive TDs yesterday. Some teams can take the preseason off and not miss a beat (ie New England). For teams trying to establish themselves like the Vikings are though, you really can gauge how they will come out in Week 1 by how they play in August. The Vikings ranked 5th in my preseason performance rankings.

2. Atlanta's group of wide receivers is ridiculously bad. Roddy White, Joe Horn, and Michael Jenkins are supposed to be the top 3, but they combined for 57 receiving yards.

3. Every year it seems like we get more and more rookie running backs who make huge impacts. In 2005 it was Cadillac Williams. Last year it was Reggie Bush and Jones-Drew. Now Adrian Peterson comes out of the blocks in Week 1 with 163 all purpose yards. Meanwhile, Jerrious Norwood gets only 7 touches for Atlanta and has 57 yards on them. They've got to find a way to get him the ball more often.


1. There's a lot more beatings to come for the Jets. Last year's playoff berth was the product of a very easy schedule. They ranked 20th or lower in rushing and passing offense and defense.

2. Jet fans were booing Chad Pennington yesterday but I don't really get why. You complete 76% of your pass attempts and throw 2 TDs against a very good Patriots defense and you get booed? Come on.

3. Der dee dur deee dur Randy Moss. Dee doo dooo dee dur Tom Brady. Boob dee boop dee boo Patriots might go undefeated. There I just saved you a whole week's worth of watching ESPN.


1. Last week I rated the preseason performance of all the NFL teams 1-32. The Rams came in 32nd, and that carried over to Week One of the real season. They were terrible on both sides of the ball. The Panthers rolled up 186 rushing yards and victimized the Rams secondary for 3 TD passes, and on offense the Rams managed only 167 passing yards on 42 attempts.

2. Steven Jackson was the most disappointing fantasy player in the league this week. He had 58 yards rushing and was invisible in the passing game. Not only that, he killed the Rams with 2 lost fumbles.

3. Jake Delhomme was able to succeed in this game because the Panthers were able to run the ball. DeShaun Foster and D'Angelo Williams split carries and and had 156 yards on 32 attempts. As those 2 go, so will go the Panthers.


1. Jason Campbell got picked off twice, but otherwise, I like the way he played. What's not to like about averaging over 10 yards per pass attempt?

2. Lotsa luck to you if you're banking on any of the Redskins receivers for your fantasy team. Antwaan Randle El came back from the dead to have 162 yards yesterday, but everyone's sleeper TE Chris Cooley had 1 catch for 10 yards, and Santana Moss, who has faded so much in the last year I'm not even sure if anyone considers him a factor anymore, had 2 catches. Meanwhile, anyone notice that Ladell Betts and Clinton Portis split carries right down the middle with 17 apiece?

3. The Dolphins seem to have lost all faith in Ronnie Brown and their running game. Brown averaged less than 3 yards per carry yesterday. You don't hear about it very much, but this guy was the second overall pick in the draft in 2005, and he's on his last legs in Miami right now I think.


1. Impressive how Denver was able to get off game winning field goal with no timeouts left. Little things like that can sometimes be the difference between winning and losing.

2. Very good debut for Marshawn Lynch. JP Losman's 97 yards and one interception are unacceptable though, even against the Broncos standout corners. If he can't get it done this year it's time for them to go in a different direction at QB.

3. Buffalo's special teams kept them in this game. They were dominated in all other phases.


1. Jesus Christ Monkey Balls, how does a supposedly good defense like the Jags allow Chris Brown and LenDale White to hang 241 rushing yards on them? If that defense continues to suck like that, this team is going to crash and burn this year and Jack Del Rio and his suit are going to be on the set of some pregame show in 08.

2. Under no circumstances should the Jaguars EVER have a game where they throw the ball 30 times and run it only 18. That either tells me they had a horrible game plan or they panicked too soon and abandoned whatever their game plan was.

3. LenDale White needs to contact Dan Marino or Don Shula and get on some NutraSystem, stat. I bet he wouldn't have almost fumbled the game away on the goal line if he was carrying a Ding Dong instead of a football.


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