Friday, August 3, 2007

Third Hand News

As always, the news is lifted directly from's Truth and Rumors...

- The Washington Post had an article about how Donovan McNabb counts himself as a "supporter of Michael Vick". McNabb says about Vick's situation, "Wow, you've got your so-called friends and family members turning their back on you now to make their situation better.' They're throwing you under the bus so that they can clean their name. That's unfortunate. That goes to show, I always have a saying that I've always lived by: If you can't trust family, who can you trust? It's an unfortunate situation, and I just hope everything works out well for him where he can get back out on the field."

I just want to clue McNabb in on something about Vick's "friends". I don't know if at Syracuse they taught him the oft-used literary phrase "There is no honor amongst thieves". There's no honor amongst dogfighters or most other criminals either. When you are rich as Vick is, and put all that in jeopardy by getting mixed up in something as blatantly illegal as this, well, how did Michael Vick expect this to turn out??

- Michael Strahan and the Giants continue to play summertime knifey-spooney. He's not in camp, he'll probably come back in the fold near the end of preseason. Strahan cannot exactly afford to sit this season out, because he now owes his ex-wife FIFTEEN MILLION DOLLARS after his divorce settlement. I would like to recommend to Michael Strahan that he pick up a copy of "How to Fake Your Own Death", by former Enron CEO Ken Lay, with foreword by Tupac Shakur and Andy Kaufman.

- I think you might have seen something about Vince Young punching somebody in practice, with his throwing hand. You remember the good old days when Joe Montana and John Elway routinely used to beat up people in practice? Me neither.

- Clinton Portis' knee problems have been a cause for concern in Redskins camp. He's been held out of practices, and it's clear he's not at 100%.

- Daunte Culpepper has finally found gainful employment. He was signed to a 1 year deal by the Raiders, who continue negotiations with first overall pick JaMarcus Russell. The Raiders apparently want to put some sort of insurance clause in Russell's contract that compensates them in case Russell has some sort of Michael Vick-esqe super freak-out later in his career. No, I'm not making that up. The clause will be titled, "Black Quarterback Clause". Yes, I am making that part up, but geez talk about painting with a broad brush.

- The Bears have been wheeling and dealing in the past week. They made a trade with the Bills to pick up pass rushing DT Darwin Walker, and sent one of last year's starting safeties, Chris Harris, to Carolina. Harris was deemed expendable after the team signed Adam Archuleta this offseason. Archuleta reportedly doesn't like to talk about the wasted season he spent in Washington last year, apparently feeling that he was blamed for a lot of other people's screw-ups. I give Adam Archuleta the award for professionalism. The mark of a true professional is to blame others when you suck.


dook!e said...

And I'm sure McNabb trusts his mom isn't stealing his soup money from under his mattress. I dislike McNabb the more he talks. That said, he should be starting for the Bears.

dook!e said...

the more I think about this.. McNabb is an idiot. His friends aren't out to clear their name at his expense. They are pleading guilty to federal charges! They won't be getting a ankle braclet so they can sit at home. They will have a criminal record.